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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeved with my sister and fucking make up?

109 replies

QuestionableMouse · 19/12/2021 10:04

We've brought the kiddos away for the weekend and are sharing a hotel room.

We were late getting on the road yesterday because it takes her so long to get ready. Today, we're probably going to miss breakfast anywhere because it's taken her over 45 minutes to put her face on and I've had to do everything (tidying round/packing up- we're checking out today and staying with family tonight, getting the kids ready) while she sat there doing makeup.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed? It's the same every time we go anyway!

OP posts:
AD80 · 19/12/2021 11:25

This would infuriate too. I am someone who doesn't like hanging around in the morning 😅 I give up on make up a while ago because it was too time consuming 😅

CheshireKitten123 · 19/12/2021 11:28

"It's the same every time we go anyway!"

Either a) tell her a leaving time 30 mins earlier than when you want to leave, so she'll be ready or
b) don't make plans with her.

Viviennemary · 19/12/2021 11:30

I'd say the night before I'm leaving at x time. Get your own kids ready and leave. She is a joke. And I wouldnt go away with her again. I rarely go on holiday with other folk they are too annoying. . Couldn't be bothered with this selfish behaviour. It would ruin the holiday. She isn't going to change because she gets away with it every time.

Andi2020 · 19/12/2021 11:32

Is any of the kids hers, if they are tell them get your mum to do it I'm busy. If they are yours then that's up to you if you know she is always like this unhelpful why bring her.

CharSiu · 19/12/2021 11:33

DH family are really terrible time keepers. They are the most inefficient people I have ever met. If that’s how they want to live their life that’s up to them. DH and I have had occasion over the last 20 years to not invite them for stuff as they are incapable of being on time.

HopefulProcrastinator · 19/12/2021 11:38

There genuinely isn't a person in the world I'd miss breakfast for if the reason was because of make-up!

I'm baffled why you didn't just get your children sorted, stuff squared away in the car and take them for breakfast.

TheHungriestMama · 19/12/2021 11:43

I have a sister like this 😂 late to everything and takes ages to get ready, then tells you it's your fault.
I have adapted to telling her a time an hour earlier and then telling her I'm leaving if she's not there (and actually doing it if she's late). She's less inclined now to be late.

Just plan for the future and stick it out this time round. Im

luverlybubberly · 19/12/2021 11:49

Leave her and go.

She does this because people like you wait for her.

Does she miss flights etc?

NotSorry · 19/12/2021 11:57

@EllieSattler

I'm saying YABU only because you've said it's the same every time, so you should have expected and prepared for it, and you haven't just fucked off and left her to it.
I agree - same reason I voted YABU
OMG12 · 19/12/2021 11:59

I know slightly beside the point, what the fuck takes 45 min re makeup, is she applying prosthetics?

frazzledasarock · 19/12/2021 12:03

She’s taking the Pisa because she knows you’ll do it all.

I would tell her you’ll leave without her and then pack all the kids up and leave.

And if she’s like this repeatedly why on earth do you keep doing it?

Refuse to go anywhere with her. Or go with her and go in separate cars she can make her own way home with her kids.

Cocomarine · 19/12/2021 12:05

YANBU to be annoyed, YABU to be such a wet lettuce about it though!
Why on earth were you packing things up?
Get yourself sorted. Get your kids sorted. You could be kind and make sure hers are ready to go, but not clear up after them.
At the time you’ve told her you’re leaving, go - with all kids - and say, “I’ll leave you to check us out, we’ll be at xyz for breakfast - get a cab and meet us there.”
If you don’t want this, don’t put up with it.

FreeBritnee · 19/12/2021 12:05

Most people who depend on make up do so out of insecurity, not vanity. I had terrible skin up until my mid thirties and I was wedded to my make up bag because of it. Even now twenty years later I’m still never seen without make up as my self esteem is so bad. So I’d cut her some slack.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/12/2021 12:08

I think leaving her next time would be an excellent idea. I have family like this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/12/2021 12:13

@FreeBritnee

Most people who depend on make up do so out of insecurity, not vanity. I had terrible skin up until my mid thirties and I was wedded to my make up bag because of it. Even now twenty years later I’m still never seen without make up as my self esteem is so bad. So I’d cut her some slack.
Surely you plan and get up earlier? Op has tidied up, packed up and got the kids ready whilst her sister donned makeup. It doesn’t take 45 mins to do makeup unless you want it to. But will have taken more that 45 mins to sort all the other stuff out.
FreeBritnee · 19/12/2021 12:14

I have no idea of the sister’s situation. I was trying to explain a different set of circumstances that could make someone take a long time to apply make up that wasn’t encapsulated in vanity.

Hesma · 19/12/2021 12:20

YABU if it’s the same every time. You know what she’s like so if you can’t cope with it then don’t go away with her

Buytoomuchonebay · 19/12/2021 12:23

We have a friend that’s the same
He will ring to say he’ll be with us at about 9pm
We where still waiting at midnight (I was wide awake so not to much of a hardship)
Sod that-I got my partner to say we where going to bed and turned all the lights off
His whole family enable this shite-I remember the day of their holidays-we where having his dog
We where up and ready-they where an hour late due to his faffing
They dropped the dog off and could we get him back out of the door?
Could we fuck-his mum finally lost it with him and off they went
They ended up 5 hours late for their holiday but they seem to just laugh it off
I’d have driven away without him
He’s such a lovely lad but it’s his one weak spot

MargosKaftan · 19/12/2021 12:23

OP - if you plan to go away with her again, you need to spell it out. "We need to leave at x time. You need to be ready, including make up on at that time. Its not ok leaving me to look after your child while you spend nearly an hour doing your make up." Or just refuse to go away with her again, and say "no, hate going away with you as we all have to wait for an hour at a time for you to do your make up. You do your own thing."

Stop pandering.

Looubylou · 19/12/2021 12:24

Are her children part of the party? Are is she younger/childless?

LIZS · 19/12/2021 12:25

A hotel with no breakfast facility?

diddl · 19/12/2021 12:25

I do wonder how many times her make up takes just about as long as it takes Op to get all the kids ready & do all the packing??

Natty13 · 19/12/2021 12:26

You are 1000% being unreasonable for moaning about it yet doing nothing about it. If she does it every time, what did you expect?

I just don't understand this keep quiet and seethe until it builds up so much inside you explode and end up having a huge fallout. Stand up for yourself, there are many, many ways you could have avoided this situation. What will it be next time?

billy1966 · 19/12/2021 12:40

Why are you allowing this?

Leave her and her children behind.

Get ready, head out with your children and tell her follow on if she wishes.

Why are you so passive and wet?

Your children are missing breakfast because of your sister?

As a mother you need to do better.

sweetpaws · 19/12/2021 12:53

Oh god I feel for you. I actually ended a friendship over this. She would take hours to get ready, then after all that we'd be late setting off anyway because she had to reapply or something wasn't quite right, even if the taxi meter was ticking away waiting outside - then we'd get where we were going and have to spend an age in the toilets while she reapplied again, and then more re-application throughout the day/night wherever we were. Maddening.

It's not fair on you or your children and is massively selfish. Don't stop going away with her if it's a thing you share with your sister but absolutely agree with the others - make sure you aren't reliant on waiting round for her and make it clear that you won't be waiting around for the make up to be applied.

How old is she? If anything older than late teens/early twenties I think it's pretty sad that she feels she has to waste so much time plastering all that on herself. Less is more anyway, certainly in the daytime!