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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeved with my sister and fucking make up?

109 replies

QuestionableMouse · 19/12/2021 10:04

We've brought the kiddos away for the weekend and are sharing a hotel room.

We were late getting on the road yesterday because it takes her so long to get ready. Today, we're probably going to miss breakfast anywhere because it's taken her over 45 minutes to put her face on and I've had to do everything (tidying round/packing up- we're checking out today and staying with family tonight, getting the kids ready) while she sat there doing makeup.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed? It's the same every time we go anyway!

OP posts:
Summerfun54321 · 19/12/2021 10:43

“I don’t want to go away with you again because you dump everything on me in the morning while you have 45mins of time to yourself doing make-up”. I don’t understand why you can’t say that to your own sister. If it were my sister I would have said it to her there and then the first time it happened.

TidyDancer · 19/12/2021 10:44

Why do you continue to put up with it? You're just training her to believe it's acceptable and you'll tolerate it. Ultimately this is within your control. Walk out, leave her there.

Howshouldibehave · 19/12/2021 10:46

It's the same every time we go anyway!

And yet you still do it expecting a different outcome…

ClaudiaJ1 · 19/12/2021 10:46

Ummm, are you a glutton for punishment? What do you get out of this arrangement? WHY do you go away with her then? Why do you do it? Are you not able to go away on your on? More fool you for going away with her. Just STOP going away with her in future. It's that simple.

Blossomtoes · 19/12/2021 10:47

It's the same every time we go anyway!

It’s the definition of insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Why didn’t you go and have breakfast while she was doing her face?

ClaudiaJ1 · 19/12/2021 10:48

I voted YABU because you say "It's the same every time we go anyway!" So you clearly enjoy her behaviour.

IncompleteSenten · 19/12/2021 10:49

She is the same every time you go away. At this point it's your own fault!

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 19/12/2021 10:51

Does she have acne? Perhaps she has a form of dysmorphia where her imperfections are glaring to her but invisible to everyone else. Poor self esteem? Whatever it is, she priorities applying her makeup above all else.

You don't know what's going on in her head so can't help with that, so what can you do?

You seem to have your shit together so you can use this as a strength to support her to manage her time better. You know how long it takes her to get ready, factor this in and wake her up earlier so you can both leave on time.

You probably feel you shouldn't have to parent a grown adult but the current situation is causing you stress and you could instead be part of the solution rather than the victim of her actions.

3scape · 19/12/2021 10:53

I'd honestly stop going away with her if you're not prepared to leave her to her own responsibility

TerribleCustomerCervix · 19/12/2021 10:53

If you’re close enough to go away with her for fun, you’re close enough to tell her to get her arse in gear, and that her makeup is not more important than everyone else’s breakfast!

Butchyrestingface · 19/12/2021 10:59

YABU. You know what Einstein said about people who said the same thing over and over and expect different results? Well, it applies here.

Chloemol · 19/12/2021 11:01

@QuestionableMouse

I can't leave her cause we're in my car!😕
Yes you can. Tell her you are leaving at xx. If she is not ready you will meet her at wherever you are having breakfast and go
oftenbaffled · 19/12/2021 11:03

what a delightful break this sounds for the children

no breakfast
a squabbling mum and aunt

Merry Christmas!

diddl · 19/12/2021 11:03

Who/what else is she late for?

Is it just you because you accept it?

Beautiful3 · 19/12/2021 11:05

Don't wait for people. Just tell her what time you're leaving, and go!

A580Hojas · 19/12/2021 11:06

Why are you martyring yourself and not having breakfast? It's her choice to priorities make up over breakfast - you don't have to!

ShinyHappyPoster · 19/12/2021 11:11

I don't understand why you're waiting for her. You go to breakfast when you're ready. She catches you up if she wants to.
It's a rare occasion for Dh and I to go down to breakfast at the same time in a hotel. He's always down before me Xmas Grin

ChiefStockingStuffer · 19/12/2021 11:15

Stop enabling her by sorting out her kids.
Get yourself and yours ready and leave the room with them. Tell her you'll wait 5 minutes in the car and then you're leaving. And do it!

TyrannosaurusRegina · 19/12/2021 11:16

By putting up with it and not saying/doing anything, you're just teaching her that it's ok.

starfishofbethlehem · 19/12/2021 11:17

I would have taken my kids to breakfast and left her to get ready, telling her I would be back at whatever time to collect her for the journey.

TroysMammy · 19/12/2021 11:18

How does it take 45 minutes to put on makeup? It takes me less than 10 minutes and that includes wiping a watery eye when I've poked myself in the eye again with the mascara wand.

ApolloandDaphne · 19/12/2021 11:20

I would have got the kids sorted and headed down for breakfast with them. She could come or not as she pleased. I get the rage if I don't get my breakfast!

Elodeastar · 19/12/2021 11:22

I am being harsh here, but I chose YABU, because you say she does this all the time, so you knew already that this might be an issue. Don't clean up for her, don't wait (a ridiculous time) for her, let he see that she needs to manage her time better, and that you won't be the one running after her all the time (a bit of give and take is needed of course, but not always one doing the running and the other taking advantage!).

succession · 19/12/2021 11:22

My cousin left lunch on my hen do to put her make up on, four hours before we were due to do anything in the evening. Fucking annoying

MrsLarry · 19/12/2021 11:22

YABU. You knew and you still went ahead with the trip.

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