To be annoyed by neighbours

[JaceyJames]

I've lived in my flat for 15 years and never once had a complaint about noise until my new neighbours moved in a year ago.

Since them, we've had a party twice. Both times they came over screaming sad swearing at us (never met them).

We play music through Alexa, so doubt it could be THAT loud.

Tonight us was my son's 18th birthday party. Six guests. Did some karaoke. Woman next door comes over literally screaming and shouting at me and was so aggressive and rude I feel shaken.

It was 11.45 on a Saturday night and the second time in a year I've played music and both times they did this.

A couple of months back they had a huge party with music and shouting and screaming outside in the front garden until 3am and I didn't complain I just let them enjoy their night.

Tonight I said to the woman "you have parties just louder with more people and I don't complain" and she said that was my perogative and I should have some respect.

She was do aggressive and rude, I'm really shaken

Well she’s not going to change as she sounds really unadaptable (and rude as hell) so just put in a complaint about her next time she has a noisy party.

However, I don’t think any 18th birthday party, and with this one including karaoke, can hardly ever be described as “not THAT loud”. Maybe not to you as an attendee. That makes no difference anyway if she has louder and longer parties.

It was played through the computer, I genuinely don't see it could be THST loud. I don't even own a proper stereo:(

I feel really upset about it. Like I can never have a party without being screamed at.

I don't see why they didn't knock and politely ask me to turn out down, she just went directly to screaming and shouting.

"Some people have to work tomorrow. Have some respect" and she was pointing her finger at me.

It's Saturday night fgs. Once it twice a year I play music....

I’m so glad my neighbours don’t have parties, you both sound annoying tbh

Did you tell her before the party that there would be a party happening tonight?
Always a good idea to give people plenty of notice so, if they can, they can make alternative arrangements if the noise will be an issue for them.

Doesn't everyone have parties sometimes? It was 6 people:(

I told the neighbours in my building (who all said there was no noise)

I didn't tell them because:

1. They had a party a few wewks ago as I said with about 50 people and noise until the small hours and never told me.

1. They are in the seperate building next door. If the ones in my actual building can't hear anything troublesome I don't understand really why they do, the people who lived there before never once heard anything

Well, they clearly can hear you OP given as how they came over ranting at you.
Maybe the people who lived there before could also hear you but, had the same outlook as you ie. "Jacey's having a knees up. Hope they have a good night".
She's told you (or rather, yelled at you), that they have to work tomorrow.
Completely different if you don't need to be up by x o'clock.
I'm not saying she's right OP, in fact I'd say she's handled it pretty badly but, I can see her point if she has to be up for work.

6 people really isn’t a party I don’t think yabu. Some People are just unreasonable.

I’d look to turn the music off at 12.
But she sounds like do as I say not as I do type
Of person.

She's made me want to move house .

I'm not a noisy person. We put music on a few times a year. At most.

Screaming and swearing at you was certainly unreasonable. What’s wrong with ‘could you turn the music down please?’

i never complain when things like that happen even though they annoy the life out of me 2 parties in a year isnt excessive your neighbour is over sensitive maybe they moved to get away from even noisier neighbours they couldnt do anything about and now your bearing the brunt

You sound well matched OP. I've long said that like should be housed with like for the sake of the quiet, calm, well mannered folk, so this sounds perfect.

I think two parties in a year is a lot! I would expect no more than a party once on a blue moon. And karaoke in the house and you are wondering why the neighbour is upset. Your neighbour is as bad of course.

I think your neighbour’s reaction was too strong, but it is annoying when your neighbours have parties late at night and you’re trying to sleep. Especially when you live in such close quarters. However, they don’t really have a leg to stand on if they did the same a few months ago. If they want to argue for a party free building, they need to follow that themselves too.

Alexa is THAT loud. Our neighbours have one and it drowns out our TV.

Ignore them. The occasional party is not a big deal. If they want to try the (non-existent) council noise team, they can - they won’t get very far.

You both sound pretty suited tbh.
Don't you even tell each other when you're going to be having a party?
The fact that they had one until 3am is irrelevant if it didn't bother you. Your karaoke party DID bother them.

I would give back as good as I get.

Go over there and scream at her that is a fucking hypocrite and never to come to your flat again.

@PAFMO

You both sound pretty suited tbh. Don't you even tell each other when you're going to be having a party? The fact that they had one until 3am is irrelevant if it didn't bother you. Your karaoke party DID bother them.

Of course it bothered her. They were screaming until 3am 🙄

@Aprilx

I think two parties in a year is a lot! I would expect no more than a party once on a blue moon. And karaoke in the house and you are wondering why the neighbour is upset. Your neighbour is as bad of course.

Aren’t you a fun sponge!! Karaoke = singing. She wasn’t even using a stereo. So now people can’t sing in their own home? Also six people is barely a gathering, certainly not a bloody party! I despair, really!!

Of course their party bothered me. They had people all over the front lawn shouting and screaming. I paced for hours and put in earplugs and eventually slept on the couch as it was quieter. It only bothered me as they opened their doors with music blasting outside and their guests were very loud in the garden.

I wouldn't have dreamed in a million years of going over there and aggressively shouting and insulting them.

As PP says, what happened to a polite "can you turn it down please?" She was unbelievably rude and it was completely uncalled for and hypocritical.

Their leaf blower also bothers me, which they use early on Sunday mornings. Their workmen bothered me when they installed a new fence and driveway.

I just accept I live in a flat in the city and if I never want neighbour noise I should live elsewhere and provided people aren't loud frequently I make allowances that people sometimes celebrate at home. It seems a realistic expectation.

Anyway, thanks all. I am going to go over and talk to them today. I'm really unhappy she was so rude and threatening. Her behaviour was intimidating, and I think given the circumstances, really OTT.

Why would the OP tell people in the next building when she is going to have a party? Literally noone does this. It sounds to me as if this woman is a bully and has homed in on you as someone she can victimise. Tell her to go and fuck herself next time she comes screaming at you.

Do you own the flat? I’d also be thinking of putting in a compliant to the council about the noise, but think you’d have to declare a dispute if you wanted to sell.

The CF thinks it’s her prerogative to make noise but not yours!

Any idea why she thinks she’s superior? Has she lived there longer?

YWBU not to tell them. Of course they’re gonna be pissed off!

@RaPumPumPumPum

YWBU not to tell them. Of course they’re gonna be pissed off!

Have you even read the bloody OP?

I'd go and talk to get today to tell her she's out of order and hypocritical as she had a loud party several weeks ago. Going forward I'd say that in future you will let her know when you will be having a party and you expect her to do the same for you.