Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by neighbours

69 replies

JaceyJames · 19/12/2021 01:10

I've lived in my flat for 15 years and never once had a complaint about noise until my new neighbours moved in a year ago.

Since them, we've had a party twice. Both times they came over screaming sad swearing at us (never met them).

We play music through Alexa, so doubt it could be THAT loud.

Tonight us was my son's 18th birthday party. Six guests. Did some karaoke. Woman next door comes over literally screaming and shouting at me and was so aggressive and rude I feel shaken.

It was 11.45 on a Saturday night and the second time in a year I've played music and both times they did this.

A couple of months back they had a huge party with music and shouting and screaming outside in the front garden until 3am and I didn't complain I just let them enjoy their night.

Tonight I said to the woman "you have parties just louder with more people and I don't complain" and she said that was my perogative and I should have some respect.

She was do aggressive and rude, I'm really shaken

OP posts:
colourfulpuddles · 19/12/2021 09:21

You are obviously loud enough for her to hear you because you didn’t tell her you were having a party yet she still came over.

She shouldn’t have been screaming at you though.

Squeezita · 19/12/2021 09:22

@colourfulpuddles

You are obviously loud enough for her to hear you because you didn’t tell her you were having a party yet she still came over.

She shouldn’t have been screaming at you though.

🙄
Original poster
JaceyJames · 19/12/2021 09:28

I have lived here 14 years before they moved in. Not a single complaint from any neighbours.

They own their flat, we rent.

Yes, apparently its fine for her to have a massive noisy party, and me pointing out her hypocrisy was met with more shouting.

She is a bully.

When she buzzed I answered the video entry screen and couldn't see very well and asked who it was. She just shouted at me and was finger pointing. I asked again for her to identify herself and she said "never you mind who I am".

I then went outside qnd very calmly said "it's Saturday night. It's my son's 18th birthday. He's had a bit of a celebration, you've had much larger and louder celebrations". She said repeatedly that I should have some respect and some people had to work in the morning. As if I'm supposed to know her working hours when I've never met her.

I pointed out people occassionally had celebrations and that when she had a huge party the whole street was disrupted and I didn't come over complaining or shouting. She said that was my perogative.

The entire time I was speaking calmly and she was screaming and pointing fingers right in my face. Like a YouTube video!

When this happened last time, it was just me and my partner listening to Phil Collins (a ballad) on Alexa. Her husband came over, similarly screaming and aggressive.

I remember being extremely suprised as we lived here for 14 years and never had anyone complain about noise and we felt coming to let us know politely would have been more appropriate. We are not mind readers and I'm very suprised a bit of Phil Collins from an Alexa would travel through concrete walls to a seperate building.

Then when they had their exceptionally noisy party (they are 15 years younger than us and had drunk people all over the street), we were quite suprised by their double standard but we are easygoing so let it slide.

My son had his 18th planned at a venue, and due to Omicron we cancelled it and had a murder mystery dinner at home with his 5 closest pals and then did a bit of karaoke afterwards.

I'm sure it must have been annoying if they could hear it, but as it was a one off, they didn't need to be so OTT

OP posts:
Nivealove · 19/12/2021 09:31

YANBU OP. She is a bitch.

phishy · 19/12/2021 09:33

Well as they own and you rent, I would have no qualms about complaining to the council about them.

They sound like utter dickheads Flowers

Have they seen your DH? Maybe they think you live alone and can target you as a sole woman?

phishy · 19/12/2021 09:34

Alone with your son, I meant.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 19/12/2021 09:34

I've always discussed parties with my neighbours long beforehand so everyone is informed and can arrange to be away if they don't want to be around and same goes the other way round so we've never had a problem.
Your neighbour sounds like a shrieking Harrison though there is no reasoning with Pete I've that. If she threatens you just call the police.

GutsInMay · 19/12/2021 09:37

Whenever I have loved in flats, semis and terraces (I.e always) I have always let the neighbours know in advance that we were havjng any kind of party.

She was rude, aggressive and over reacting. You could have been more neighbourly.

Original poster
JaceyJames · 19/12/2021 09:38

Thanks all. I think we are going to move. One of the things we liked about our flat was nice neighbours and no hassles. We had many years of that.

It's not so much that I can't have a party. Although it's s bit depressing in covid times when sometimes that's the only option. It's more that we don't want to live next to people that rude and aggressive.

The neighbours in our building are lovely. One has a baby and say they've never heard us.

Good luck to them with whoever moves in after us. We are mid forties and in bed at ten most days.

I don't know why people have to be so unnecessarily awful.

OP posts:
phishy · 19/12/2021 09:38

You lose your right to any pre-warnings when you have a screaming party for 50 people until 3am without warning anyone.

Aprilx · 19/12/2021 09:39

@phishy

Well as they own and you rent, I would have no qualms about complaining to the council about them.

They sound like utter dickheads Flowers

Have they seen your DH? Maybe they think you live alone and can target you as a sole woman?

I am absolutely baffled as to why who owns and who rents has any bearing on whether this is a matter to report to the council. Confused
rattlemehearties · 19/12/2021 09:40

Hmm karaoke after 11pm really isn't acceptable op, don't play the victim.

The government and councils consider noise nuisance as being between 11pm - 7am
www.gov.uk/guidance/noise-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints

phishy · 19/12/2021 09:41

If you complain to council about noise, it becomes a dispute:

“As of 2020, sellers must disclose information about boundaries and details of any historic or current disputes with neighbours or any issues that could give rise to a dispute in the future.

Failure to disclose details of an existing or potential dispute could result in legal action or a financial compensation claim from your buyer.”

phishy · 19/12/2021 09:42

^ To @Aprilx

Original poster
JaceyJames · 19/12/2021 09:45

@GutsInMay...

I had 5 people over and it ended at midnight.

Several weeks ago, they had approximately 50 people and it ended after 3am.

They never told me they were having a party, so my assumption was that was not their expectation either.

I think this is probably the first party I've ever had in the flat really. We've played music before, but I don't think we've ever had an actual party before.

I did tell my neighbours in my building. Even did a test at 5pm of the karaoke and texted to ask if they could hear it. They couldn't.

It's possible although they are in the next building that they can hear noise but immediate neighbours can't, bit the point is, I'm not a mindreader.

Our view is we have never had neighbours hear our noise before. They could have politely told us. The only reason their party bothered me was it spilled into the street. They have those glass walls you can open and they just spilled it outside directly under my bedroom window.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/12/2021 09:49

I don’t think I have ever heard someone actually scream in my whole life. Shout. Yes. Shout loudly. Yes. But scream? No

A scream is a loud piercing cry that signals extreme emotion or pain

It’s astounding that your neighbours and their guests are all at this regularly

Original poster
JaceyJames · 19/12/2021 09:52

Not screaming then, but shouting.

Her guests were football chanting. They're not British, it was some kind of sports event party and they were football chanting and doing those kind of very loud group chants and shouts.

Later after 1am it was drunk people in the garden and yes, the girls were shrieking.

OP posts:
Tiptoearound · 19/12/2021 09:54

This sounds a bit petty tbh, just ignore her & carry on, this culture that has developed whereby we complain to anyone we can about anyone we can is ridiculous. You’re not going to win here so just let it go, they don’t like you & you don’t like them. If it was every weekend then I might have an issue but everyone is entitled to have a bit of fun you included so just forget about it as it’s done now

Bloodypunkrockers · 19/12/2021 10:13

So much screaming

Was it a Halloween party

Nanny0gg · 19/12/2021 10:25

@Bluntness100

I don’t think I have ever heard someone actually scream in my whole life. Shout. Yes. Shout loudly. Yes. But scream? No

A scream is a loud piercing cry that signals extreme emotion or pain

It’s astounding that your neighbours and their guests are all at this regularly

OFGS!

'Screaming' at people is a perfectly acceptable term to use, it's perfectly clear what it means.

Pedants' Corner is that way>>>>>

Nanny0gg · 19/12/2021 10:26

@JaceyJames

Not screaming then, but shouting.

Her guests were football chanting. They're not British, it was some kind of sports event party and they were football chanting and doing those kind of very loud group chants and shouts.

Later after 1am it was drunk people in the garden and yes, the girls were shrieking.

I'd have phoned the police...
Nanny0gg · 19/12/2021 10:26

@phishy

If you complain to council about noise, it becomes a dispute:

“As of 2020, sellers must disclose information about boundaries and details of any historic or current disputes with neighbours or any issues that could give rise to a dispute in the future.

Failure to disclose details of an existing or potential dispute could result in legal action or a financial compensation claim from your buyer.”

The OP rents...
Nanny0gg · 19/12/2021 10:27

Sorry @phishy. See your point.

Original poster
JaceyJames · 19/12/2021 12:06

I'm not going to ring ringing the police or the council or anything. I'm not pretty. If someone has a loud party once or twice I'll just let them enjoy themselves.

I'm also not going to go and talk to her. I tried that and she made it clear that she is not interested in peaceful resolution.

I'm just going to not renew my lease and ignore the cow.

My partner reminded me this morning of a few weeks ago when someone rang her bell by accident thinking it was his friends house so she shouted so loudly and rudely at the man we could hear her in our house.

I think she's just rude, itching for a fight and thinks she's superior to everyone else.

OP posts:
OneRuleForThem · 19/12/2021 12:46

My partner reminded me this morning of a few weeks ago when someone rang her bell by accident thinking it was his friends house so she shouted so loudly and rudely at the man we could hear her in our house

If you can hear her shouting from her house in your house during waking hours then she can definitely hear you playing music and having people singing karaoke in your house from her house during sleeping hours…