Not taking girlfriend to parents at Christmas....

[alientome]

I have a girlfriend of 6 months.
Her family live down south and she is up north.
This is my first girlfriend and my mum doesn't know I'm gay.
I don't even know if I am myself.
Christmas Day I spend it with my mum (only child ,no other family left )
We normally have lunch at 2pm.
My girlfriend wants me to have lunch then go to my house and she comes over.
The problem is I don't want to leave my mum on her own at Christmas but I'm not ready to introduce my girlfriend to her either.

I said to my girlfriend why don't we spend Christmas morning together till 2pm
That's not enough for her
She's going to her friends for lunch then she said she will be home sitting alone.
I feel so guilty but I know my mum won't take me having a girlfriend well and I can't leave her on her own.

What the hell do I do now?
I can't please everyone
I wanted to spend Christmas morning with girlfriend and have a nice time but she has said no.

Have Christmas with your mum.

With kindness, I think she is being far too overbearing. The first Christmas I spent with my DH was the first one as a married couple. I have an obligation to my mum, and he has one to his. 6 months in and she’s dictating these things to you… it’s not on.

You can't control your mothers reaction, you can only be you and as your mother she should accept you for who you are. She can then chose to spend Christmas with you and your girlfriend or she can chose to spend it alone, she is the one controlling this situation IMO

FFS

This is OP's LIFE.

SHE gets to control it.
Not her mother. Not her g/f of 6 months.

How is the mother 'controlling' anything!!? She isn't even aware there is a situation, do people giving this advice even know what controlling means?
She is just being an elderly lady with a personality and world view that op is well familiar with, so her expected reaction, and the fact that it's Xmas day is a factor in op's decision making.. but the mother isn't in control or even trying to be ffs.
If op knows her being gay/bi would be a bit of a bombshell and would require more talking to resolve than you can do over a quick cuppa, then it is perfectly reasonable she would choose one of the other 364 days available than dec 25th!

@alientome

I wouldn't say I want different things than her. I just always spend Xmas with my mum and I'm not ready to introduce her yet. I don't want to rush

You should be allowed to "pace" the relationship.

That's yr right.

I always submitted to being rushed against my better judgement when i was younger.

YANBU

Your pace is just fine, it has only been 6 months and a person has a right to come out in time and way they choose. Spending Christmas with your mum sounds like the right thing to do.

You sound really nice and she sounds manipulative, controlling and a bit of a bully. This isn't the right woman for you. There is someone out there, male or female, who would be lovely to you. This isn't the one.

She's being controlling, the first Christmas my DH and I had together was when we were married. 6 months is not a long time and it's not for her to tell you when you need to introduce her to your mum. Spend it with your mum x

There's a lot of other things too but I don't want to drop feed.
If you put them altogether it does make me doubt things.

I am reconsidering what I said before. I think she is being too pushy.