How am I a racist?!?

[Cinderella1]

Still a bit shaken after an exchange with someone on Nextdoor site that called me a racist. Post might be long but don't want to be accused of drip-feeding, so here it is: Original post was about the tragic fire that took the life of four young kids. A neighbour posted this:
"After the tragedy of 4 little boys died in a house fire, I will ask for any single parent which need a help with their kids for a babysitting during Xmas , I am happy to help.
I am not child minder and not insured but I am mum with two grown up boys.

Pls pls do not leave your kids alone". This person then starts asking if she's had a DBS check, etc, so my response is here: "so you think people leaving their very young kids alone for hours is less of a risk than leaving them with a neighbour? This site is not Twitter. What's next - needed a food hygiene certificate and chefs qualifications when helping in a soup kitchen? The whole world will be a better place if we got to know our neighbours better and could ask for help when needed!" , Then him: "not sure what you think your post is about? Please vent some where else where they can understand you. Me: "it's written in British English - apologies for the confusion for those who need to revisit their comprehension skills."Then this from him: "oh sorry being
Welsh I am sorry I’ve offended all you Anglo Saxons as you’ve just offended me" "Racist", "going to apologise for your racism Dora?? Or are you just an Anglo Saxon bigot???" Me: "clearly your geography is as bad as your comprehension. Wales is still part of Great Britain and English is the official language!" Him: "reported to site as clear racism. No we don’t identify ourselves as Great Britain, we obviously have our own Synedd or do you deny that??". AIBU here or is this simply insane? I am not even Anglo-Saxon btw

@2021namechanger

And call me cynical - but I bet the “nice OP” would actually be taken aback if someone random said “yeah great was gonna leave my kids alone on NYE, but now you’ve offered that sorted”

Bullshit offers of help help no one.

THIS!!! Virtue signalling bullshit.

OK, what I'll take from this is actually not to use the words "British English" as that can be misconstrued and come across as racist or patronising. You leave, you learn, you grow. As to those of you having a go regarding my mentioning of DBS checks - please let me know where exactly I have stated, that I advocate leaving kids with strangers?! I do stand by my opinion that IF it is a question of leaving young kids ALONE for a length of time or leaving them with a neighbour, the latter is the better option.

He is a dickhead asking about a dbs on what was intended to be a kind offer, and his reply to you was deliberately goady. People like him are the reason i came off Facebook and similar. Ignore and block is my mantra.

Sorry, you live

He sounds like a small minded prick, nationalists usually are - whichever nation they are from.

Unfortunate typo there OP .

But come on - no it’s not really better is it? Leaving kids with an unknown stranger is pretty much as risky as leaving them alone.

The Op was vitural signalling anyway. If someone random wanted to leave their kids with a virtual stranger I’d be just as quick to be calling SS as if they left them alone.

I am surprised Nextdoor has such a bad rep. I installed the app last year. Admittedly I don't use it very much but the one round here rarely has any spats. It is mostly people exchanging useful info, offering things for sale etc. Seen very little agro. Much, much, much less than you get on a typical thread on aibu

I voted YABU because her attack regarding “British English” and telling a Welsh person that English is the only official language in Great Britain were in fact racist attacks and unreasonable.

I don’t think OP was intentionally racist, but she did do racist attacks.

Usually, if someone has a DBS (relating to activities that involve children) they will also have further training in first aid, safeguarding etc. Think Guiders, teachers, childminders (I’ve had enhanced and standard DBSs for all of these).

So if someone recommends a person who, through their profession working with children has to have a DBS, thus with associated training, I’d far rather trust them with my children than a random neighbour that doesn’t have those skills.

British English is goady. It’s a stock phrase in the Land of the Gammons. It’s either just English or if you’re being posh, The Queen’s English.

Neither of you cover yourself in glory if I’m honest.

OP also started the online fight. It was unreasonable to go on a rant because of a perfectly reasonable and relevant question about a DBS check.

Also, there are more official languages in the UK than just English. Welsh & Scots Gaelic ring a bell?

@5foot5

I am surprised Nextdoor has such a bad rep. I installed the app last year. Admittedly I don't use it very much but the one round here rarely has any spats. It is mostly people exchanging useful info, offering things for sale etc. Seen very little agro. Much, much, much less than you get on a typical thread on aibu

Hate to say this but I think it depends where you live. Mine straddles two areas - and there is a marked difference between the content.

One is all “does anyone know a good gardener”. The other is a hotbed of nastiness.

yeah "British English" was perhaps not the best of phrases to use....honestly you are really best off ignoring idiots

I do stand by my opinion that IF it is a question of leaving young kids ALONE for a length of time or leaving them with a neighbour, the latter is the better option.

It depends how you look at it. If you take the rare occurrence of an emergency, then obviously it is better for the children to be with someone no matter who, who can get everyone to safety.

On the 99% of times when no emergency occurs, it would be better for children to be alone than to be with a sexual abuser, for example.

That shouldn't be taking as advocating leaving children alone - the point I'm making really is that the only viable option is to stay with them yourself if you cannot find a trusted babysitter - leaving them with someone who has only just made themselves known to you isn't a better option than leaving them alone - they're equally risky courses of action.

She did not do racist attacks Empress ! Don't be daft. The British English was mentioned prior to the man taking offence due to his being Welsh. And British English is also spoken in Wales alongside welsh, he was being deliberately offended. I am married to a Welsh man, from a city that borders with Wales, it is one of my favourite places, no beef with Wales at all etc, the guy was looking for a fight.

I used to work as an EFL teacher. "British English" is not racist; it's a term used to distinguish this English (with its own spellings, phrasal verbs, peculiarities of usage) from Am. E, NZ E., Aus E., etc.

Chinese students want to study with Cambridge-published textbooks because, broadly speaking, they think Br. E. a more prestigious variety than Am. E.

Yes, it's simplistic nonsense, but it's the difference between learning the present perfect, British spelling, the plethora of UK-specific usages, or not if you study with Am. E. texts.

Ignore the idiot. He can report it, but I doubt the moderator will see a problem with anyone but him. If anyone is racist it’s him.

Also, in general, you started the bunfight here from what I see, OP. My advice would be not to dish it.

It sounds like you were both getting het up for the entertainment factor.

There are a lot of idiots on social media. Some of them enjoy winding people up and some can’t help but get wound up. It’s silly and sad.

He was right about the DBS (odds of someone known to a child abusing them are pretty high, vs odds of them dying in a freak accident when left alone)

But - as a welsh Yes Cymru-er, you were right about British English. In comparison to American English etc, it's relevant that it's British. And wales, regardless of whether it is part of the United Kingdom, remains part of the island of Great Britain

British English was totally goady. It was always going to go downhill from there.

He is so welsh, and pro welsh language /anti English/welsh nationalistic that he can't even spell Senedd correctly if that was a direct copy and paste. Anglo-Saxon is also a loaded, goady term when used against English too. He's just a pedantic, keyboard warrior looking for a fight. Just ignore. It's definitely not you. It's not worth a reply. Your main mistake was getting sucked in and bothering to reply at all to his comment. Some people are just not worth the time or the energy. And for God's sake don't tell him the Senedd still doesn't have the power of Westminster, and the laws of the country are the laws of England AND Wales! Ignore. Not worth the brain space.

He sounds like a dick. Report him back for harassment.

Get off social media

@Cinderella1

He sounds a bit goady, and you don't sound like a racist, (from what you have said,) but you do sound a bit sanctimonious ...And, as a previous poster said, the way you spoke to him was a bit condescending. He had a right to ask if you have a DBS check. Even peoples parents have to have one, if they are going to be looking after their own grandkids! Utter madness I know!!!

So I am a little bit on the fence, but am leaning more towards YABU. So that's what I chose on the poll.

I also agree with a few posters that it is somewhat virtue signalling, and I do wonder if you would happily take someone's kids and look after them on New Year's Eve.