How am I a racist?!?

[Cinderella1]

Still a bit shaken after an exchange with someone on Nextdoor site that called me a racist. Post might be long but don't want to be accused of drip-feeding, so here it is: Original post was about the tragic fire that took the life of four young kids. A neighbour posted this:
"After the tragedy of 4 little boys died in a house fire, I will ask for any single parent which need a help with their kids for a babysitting during Xmas , I am happy to help.
I am not child minder and not insured but I am mum with two grown up boys.

Pls pls do not leave your kids alone". This person then starts asking if she's had a DBS check, etc, so my response is here: "so you think people leaving their very young kids alone for hours is less of a risk than leaving them with a neighbour? This site is not Twitter. What's next - needed a food hygiene certificate and chefs qualifications when helping in a soup kitchen? The whole world will be a better place if we got to know our neighbours better and could ask for help when needed!" , Then him: "not sure what you think your post is about? Please vent some where else where they can understand you. Me: "it's written in British English - apologies for the confusion for those who need to revisit their comprehension skills."Then this from him: "oh sorry being
Welsh I am sorry I’ve offended all you Anglo Saxons as you’ve just offended me" "Racist", "going to apologise for your racism Dora?? Or are you just an Anglo Saxon bigot???" Me: "clearly your geography is as bad as your comprehension. Wales is still part of Great Britain and English is the official language!" Him: "reported to site as clear racism. No we don’t identify ourselves as Great Britain, we obviously have our own Synedd or do you deny that??". AIBU here or is this simply insane? I am not even Anglo-Saxon btw

Sounds like he is a "ColinRobinson" type, you bit and he reeled you in.
To be honest, I wouldnt have engaged. Sarcasm never goes well on posts anyway.

Assuming you are not in Wales yourself, and are posting on Nextdoor, it’s a reasonable assumption that the other people on there are also posting from not-Wales

Sounds like he was bored and looking for a fight. Probably not even Welsh, just wanted to start and argument.

I don't think the DBS comment was unreasonable actually - who would leave their children with a randomer they didn't know?

YANBU, he sounds like a twat.

So many dickheads on my local Nextdoor too, many of whom are actual racists.

@Cinderella1

I obviously can't post here all his comments (plenty). My response was triggered by him (and a very few others) posting various comments previously and the nice OP feeling really hurt that her kindness was so misconstrued. How is it not relevant?

You can post them, this twat isn’t entitled to privacy.

Awkward...you've hit a Welsh nationalist nerve there. You also need to be mindful that British English (cringe) is not the only official language of The British Isles. You also have Welsh, Scottish Gaelic and Irish Gaelic.

All are official as court sessions can be heard through either medium with no need for a translator. Unlike other languages such as polish,Urdu and so many more.

I think it was your sarcasm and use of British English that set him off. Also not many do classify themselves as British, many equality forms have British, Welsh, and many more options.

I mean it's a tiny thing, but has hit a nerve with him. I'd just avoid arguing with people on the internet, it serves no purpose and nobody comes out crowned in glory.

I actually make him right on the DBS etc. Imagine someone says “yeah I’ll save a few quid on babysitting and leave my kids with that random on Nextdoor”.

@Chachasha

You both sound awful.

His question may have been quite genuine. Has she said yes, he might have gone on to ask for help. It was a fair point even if you don't agree with it. Helping in a soup kitchen doesn't involve an adult being left with a child alone. You just leapt on him and were then incredibly sarky. Very trollish.

I agree with this.

Nothing wrong with asking if someone has a DBS cert. Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility after all

@2021namechanger

I actually make him right on the DBS etc. Imagine someone says “yeah I’ll save a few quid on babysitting and leave my kids with that random on Nextdoor”.

Yes - it's setting a very low safeguarding standard to say 'at least if you leave them with me they will be safe in the event of an actual emergency.'

The value of Nextdoor is primarily in the petty squabbles. I had a protracted argument with someone once about which county we live in. Great fun.

I’ve been called racist bigoted xenophobic and a cunt on MN. Obviously these are not things I aspire to. Someone who disagrees (or just pretends to) online will always find a way to sling these terms about.

One of my friends has a tiresome husband who spends his life enjoying winding people up online. He has an incredibly boring job and is a complete dullard. I have no idea what she likes him but each to their own. Sounds like you have come across someone like him. As a total aside DH family name is an incredibly rare ancient Anglo Saxon name.

@Shiningpath

Maybe you’re not aware but there’s a strong commonality between people who put emphasis on British English, those who fly flags in their gardens and massive gammons. Your presumably innocent use of the term has led your Welsh neighbour to associate you with others who throw it around with gay abandon, usually alongside more pernicious statements about race and nationality.

It's this. That was my first thought when I read it OP and I actually inhaled sharply because I understood what you meant, but the aggressive tone made it sound like you were one of those people. Doesn't make him right, but no one comes off well in this situation and I feel sorry for the OOP who just posted offering help and instead had two idiot neighbours battering each other in the comments.

Take comfort in the knowledge that one can be both Welsh and a dickhead at the same time.

You were being quite rude but you don’t like it when it’s handed back to you lol. Also you shouldn’t blindly trust neighbours and your opinion isn’t the only correct one. People are allowed to disagree with you. I have written it in “British” English, hope you understand.

Maybe because you kept bringing up BRITISH English and Great Britain.
You both sound awful tbh.

Correcting anyone's English is a dick move. He's was a dick too. Move on.

Reading this back it sounds more like you started this. He made a valid point and you went off on a tangent about soup kitchens.

@catfunk

Maybe because you kept bringing up BRITISH English and Great Britain. You both sound awful tbh.

She mentioned British English and GB once. It's hardly "keeping bringing it up".

And call me cynical - but I bet the “nice OP” would actually be taken aback if someone random said “yeah great was gonna leave my kids alone on NYE, but now you’ve offered that sorted”

Bullshit offers of help help no one.

I'm not really a time on social media, so not experienced with Twitter, FB, etc. Nextdoor was useful in terms of finding info about reliable tradesman, etc. With risk to derail my own thread - I would trust a basic DBS check a lot less than my own personal judgment. The police officer who abducted and killed the young woman would've had an enhanced DBS check, I'm sure. Most child abuse happens by close family members, etc. Anyway, my question was how me mentioning British English on a small South London platform can be reported as racist? I responded more to his comment not understanding what I was on about. English isn't actually my own first language so I am genuinely trying to understand how can those words (sarcastic as they were) being construed as racism

@2021namechanger

And call me cynical - but I bet the “nice OP” would actually be taken aback if someone random said “yeah great was gonna leave my kids alone on NYE, but now you’ve offered that sorted”

Bullshit offers of help help no one.

Yes, this.

How arrogant do you have to be to think people don’t comprehend “British” English lol. How many languages do you speak OP?

You started a bun fight that then got ugly:
Him: asking if she's had a DBS check?

You should have let it be. This was a question for OP. It’s relevant info and DBS checks are very common. I had to have one just to chaperone on school field trips. But no, you start a bun fight by replying:

You: "so you think people leaving their very young kids alone for hours is less of a risk than leaving them with a neighbour? This site is not Twitter. What's next - needed a food hygiene certificate and chefs qualifications when helping in a soup kitchen? The whole world will be a better place if we got to know our neighbours better and could ask for help when needed!"

Very judgmental. Merely asking if OP has a DBS check doesn’t mean he thinks children home alone is safer than with a neighbour. Then you get very sarcastic and cutting about it by ranting about soup kitchens etc.

Him: "not sure what you think your post is about? Please vent some where else where they can understand you.

Valid response to your aggressive rant imho.

Me: "it's written in British English - apologies for the confusion for those who need to revisit their comprehension skills."

You engage in a personal attack, saying his English must not be very good...which imho is a racist attack because it implies you think he isn’t English and that’s why he’s did not “understand” when really we all know that’s a polite euphemism for “why are you being so mean”?

him: "oh sorry being Welsh I am sorry I’ve offended all you Anglo Saxons as you’ve just offended me" "Racist", "going to apologise for your racism Dora?? Or are you just an Anglo Saxon bigot???"

English is descended from Aenglish, the language of the Anglo Saxons....so he’s got a point about 1) you did a racist attack on his “English” and ooops, he does happen to be ethnic Welsh, not English, so yes you were racist. Whether you intended to or not with your insult about his English, unfortunately for you, the recipient was not ethnic English.

Me: "clearly your geography is as bad as your comprehension. Wales is still part of Great Britain and English is the official language!"

And that’s you digging a hole....

Him: "reported to site as clear racism. No we don’t identify ourselves as Great Britain, we obviously have our own Synedd or do you deny that??"

He got you. I think you owe an apology. You started a bun fight and then proceeded to cover yourself in shit.

I don’t tolerate racism or racist language at all, and so have no hesitation calling it what it is, but I don’t see what you said as racist. It sounds like he’s being goats and difficult.

Although your post and interaction was also unnecessary.

It’s very typical of social media, people act and say thing they never would in real life.