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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when the last time you feel attractive was?

155 replies

Lockeddownagain · 17/12/2021 22:03

I've realised that the last time I felt attractive was in 2006
I wondered if others feel like that too

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 18/12/2021 07:45

Tuesday, I wore red lip gloss for work and got loads of compliments. I haven't really done lips since the pandemic started but will make more effort now.

WellBuggerMeSideways · 18/12/2021 07:46

Every day I make an effort, really.

DP fancies the clothes off me, which helps, but I feel attractive in myself when I'm dressed in fitting clothes, nice shoes, have my hair straightened and put that tiny bit of make-up on that no one but me notices.

I have a nice face, but am not objectively attractive as quite overweight - last time I fit within the slim and pretty norm was 4 years ago, when I was actually very ill. But being attractive and feeling attractive are two different things and both can influence each other.

shrunkenhead · 18/12/2021 08:04

I WAS going to say my wedding day 2007 when I was at my thinnest and had my make up and hair professionally done....my body and health went downhill the year after as I had my dd and hasn't really recovered since, but it was actually just before Covid struck last year when a guy I work for who I'd fancied for a while told me I was sexy and we had a cheeky kiss - we had had a few glasses of wine though so probably just beer goggles!

Ilikepalindromes · 18/12/2021 08:55

I feel attractive every day. I always try and make an effort. I'm sure no one else notices me but that doesn't stop me feeling attractive.

Longdistance · 18/12/2021 08:56

Pre dc. My dd is 12 now, so I’ll estimate it to be 2008.

ElftonWednesday · 18/12/2021 08:56

I feel it without validation. Either that or I don't care whether people find me attractive or disgusting. I just know that I'm fine, just as I am, and I definitely didn't feel like that when I was younger. I just think now there is so much more to me than just looks, there is a much greater knowledge, experience, kindness, confidence, capability, assertiveness, tolerance, resilience, and a much greater willingness to have a bloody good laugh at myself.

user1471538283 · 18/12/2021 08:59

If I make an effort I can look attractive. So the last time was three weeks ago. I'm not feeling very well at the moment and work is so busy.

Siameasy · 18/12/2021 09:02

Last night cos I was dolled up. Day to day I feel content or neutral, if I make an effort I feel attractive. I’m ok looking but I’m happy in myself and I feel my personality is attractive 😂

Sux2Buthen · 18/12/2021 09:03

Honestly I used to be ok looking with an ok figure that I never believed was ok.
Then I was in an abusive relationship for years and had three children, I do not look how I used to and he made sure I feel that.
Now, however I'm 3 stone heavier than pre kids, I look tired all the time, I'm weirdly proportioned but my new bloke (long term friends first) speaks like I'm Cindy Crawford and it's really boosted me.

Still wish I look like I did before though back when I thought I was rough but wasn't 😂

dementedma · 18/12/2021 09:05

Cant remember.

hangrylady · 18/12/2021 09:07

DH always wolf whistles at me when I'm getting dressed Grin I don't feel like I look amazing day to day but I scrub up OK. Maybe I'm deluded though, I'm certainly not the hottie I was in my 20s.

Sillawithans · 18/12/2021 09:08

I feel like a million dollars every day.

supersop60 · 18/12/2021 09:09

Most days, until I see a photo of myself....

LadyLolaRuben · 18/12/2021 09:28

Now. I try to look my best each day - shower, fresh clothes, hair neat with or without make up. Once that's done, you've just got to work with what you've got. Attractiveness comes with confidencec and personality

TottiePlantagenet · 18/12/2021 09:29

On days when I make an effort and dress well, I feel good about the way I look. Not the days when I spend at home in lounge wear :)

I feel good about myself despite ageing and being in my 40s, slightly overweight with post-pregnancy stretched flabby tummy, not a natural beauty. I feel attractive because when I make the effort, I take pleasure in my clothes and enjoy what I wear and the visual that my outfit produces. The only eye I please is my own.

For me, it's not about attracting sexual attention any more - I'm no longer in my 20s, bloom of youth, and have been married +20 years, I know my husband wants sex with me!

vampirestockingfiller · 18/12/2021 09:35

I feel it without validation. I've been single since 2018, not looking for another relationship, anything I do with myself is for myself. I don't care what people think when they look at me. I like how I look, even if I am fat and ageing!

Justsotirednow · 18/12/2021 09:37

Never have.
I’ve always been ugly.

I now laught at past-me for thinking one day I’d be beutiful.

BridStar · 18/12/2021 10:39

Today.

Feeling and being attractive is an attitude.

TheCatShatInTheHat · 18/12/2021 10:51

Every day. I've always felt attractive.

HotelRoomforOne · 18/12/2021 11:09

When I was in early pregnancy with my second child I looked beautiful, but felt very queasy.
Now I am a single mother to three under 8 and I am nearly 40.
I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like a person, just a constant parent, always more to do/clean, no time to think about myself, or to eat well, or to dress in real clothes, or to rest.
I dont know if I could be attractive. I don't have the time to find out. I used to feel desirable. I weighed 10kg less. I slept through the night. My eyes were bright, my hair was cut and brushed.
When I am ovulating I have dreams I am still attractive. It is my old self in the dream. I do really miss the feeling of being attractive and desired..I have a long long road ahead of me, alone, feeling/being unattractive and not feeling like a person in my own right

5128gap · 18/12/2021 11:29

Yes, I do feel attractive without validation, to an extent. I'm conventionally and generically attractive with physical characteristics that appeal to a wide range of men, so male attention is pretty consistent regardless. But I don't have a look that i personally consider attractive, so it doesn't really impact. Its the mirror that makes me feel attractive or otherwise. And other women. A compliment from a woman is worth a thousand from a man, and I feel so happy with myself when I get one. So that is validation really.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 18/12/2021 12:10

Went to a industry black tie do a few weeks ago. Made a massive effort, for first time since dc (eldest is a teen). Very handsome colleague commented on how good I looked. This was a huge boost and had seen me through this miserable year…

cereallover · 18/12/2021 12:24

In myself personally? 2020 specifically on our wedding day. After having a baby in June and still 2 and a bit stone to lose not much. But husband says I'm beautiful:)

MsTSwift · 18/12/2021 12:26

Last night 😁

Amrapaali · 18/12/2021 12:31

Always feel good about myself.

But properly attractive? 2019

It is the validation that is important. Not necessarily from a man (though that helps.) But the sense of being seen, being acknowledged, laughing together. That spark and fizz makes you feel like you are dancing on the clouds.

The importance of fleeting social interactions to your own sense of well being and your place in the world? That is something I always took for granted pre covid