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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think bedroom furniture isn't really a gift for a 4 YO?

62 replies

IKnowAPlace · 17/12/2021 19:37

My cousin proudly told me that their DS4 is getting a new set of drawers for Christmas from them. They're basic IKEA drawers. He's getting these this weekend with a new duvet cover then a small token Santa gift on Christmas day.

They're relying on family and friends to buy many other gifts - we've been given lists (including being asked to provide "experiences" - I like this idea, but the available days mean it's basically to cover Christmas holidays). We have to drop gifts off so they're under the tree on Christmas morning which is causing a few people issues as they live quite far out of town.

Now, I'm not hugely into consumerism and seeing mountains of plastic toys piling up at Christmas but drawers seem like more of an essential home item than a gift. The parents both have good jobs and buy each other expensive gifts (£500+) so it's not that they're needing to combine an essential purchase with a Christmas gift.

Will he clock that it's an odd gift from parents at 4? Or will the other gifts from us mean he won't notice?

YBAU - he won't notice
YNBAU - it's a bit strange

OP posts:
nosyupnorth · 17/12/2021 20:29

At 4 it's just a shame that ikea comes flatpacked because getting a chest of drawers sized box to play in would be a great present.

The 'small token santa gift' might well be exactly the thing he wants, children of that age aren't materialistic like adults are. As long as he's got wrapping paper to tear off and some things to play with (the santa gift plus whatever he's getting from other people) then a four year old should be perfectly content and won't care that the parents could have afforded to spend more.

00100001 · 17/12/2021 20:31

Unless he's very excited about getting a chest of drawers or like really likes drawers or something...it's an odd gift.

I do wonder what they would say if someone did that to them Confused

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 17/12/2021 20:32

Sounds like they are selfish and tight

TwiggletLover · 17/12/2021 20:35

How many people are buying this child presents? My DC get presents from us, their grandparents and aunts. I would never dream of dictating what other people buy for them but will give suggestions if asked

Alpenguin · 17/12/2021 20:37

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2

Sounds like they are selfish and tight
Or not wanting Christmas to be about materialism for their kid? Or know family go OTT so hold back themselves.
EcoCustard · 17/12/2021 20:38

My 4 year old would think it a little odd she doesn’t have a big list of wants though. I wouldn’t dream of buying my 4 year old a chest of drawers for Christmas or a birthday. He probably won’t clock the drawers if he gets lots of gifts from others though, he will focus on the toys.

IKnowAPlace · 17/12/2021 20:38

10-12 of us (I think) give gifts - grandparents, siblings, couple of close cousins like me and one or two friends. The grandparents do go nuts - loads of clothes, big toys etc. but they keep half of it at theirs as they do regular childcare. They buy an amount of tat that makes my head hurt Hmm

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 17/12/2021 20:39

In a time where people can't afford certain things it's fair enough! Is he getting other presents? Using a Christmas fund for an essential is fine.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 17/12/2021 20:39

Ds got his bedroom done out for his birthday as requested.. But his 16 th not 4!!
Poor kid!!

Dutchesss · 17/12/2021 20:43

We have about 20 family and friends who buy for our children. They choose to. I always compensate by buying our children small or useful gifts as they already receive in excess. Children don't need their rooms filled with multiple toys. One decent toy and family time is all that's needed on Christmas.

IKnowAPlace · 17/12/2021 20:43

He's getting other gifts from wider family, yeah. So he definitely won't feel like he hasn't had gifts. I just thought it was odd that his main gift from parents was drawers and Santa will bring something small (book/jigsaw/game at a guess).

I feel like it's one of those things I'd remember as an adult - especially if I was aware that my parents got fancy gifts. I have all kinds of parent issues though!

OP posts:
Amberflames · 17/12/2021 20:44

We don’t get much for our kids as we know they get so many presents from relatives and we have enough stuff in the house as it is. They’re getting a couple of toys from us then stocking is mainly useful stuff plus chocolate.

That said if they needed furniture I’d just get it fur then and wouldn’t include it as a present. I have sometimes got them bedding, or lamps or pictures and stuff.

IKnowAPlace · 17/12/2021 20:47

These are the drawers -

Check out this GURSKEN from IKEA

ingka.page.link/vFzzM4cNx8pBtNFZA

OP posts:
Kendodd · 17/12/2021 20:57

I think plenty of four year olds would love that. Especially flat packed to build and coming in a big box.

Ohpulltheotherone · 17/12/2021 21:06

A set of drawers for a 4 yo? Confused

I understand about not wanting kids to be overly materialistic…but you can teach them this whilst still gifting them something appropriate in line with their age and interests.

I wouldn’t even get excited about a set of drawers ffs and I’m middle aged and boring.

It smacks of virtue signalling, so they can congratulate themselves for some imaginary woke parenting competition whilst happily spending a small fortune on themselves.

If the kid was 13+ I can almost agree the bedroom decoration as a gift but 4? Give over.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 17/12/2021 21:12

Makes sense to me, though more so if it’s drawers they can put their own stuff in rather than just clothes as a 4 year old might really enjoy that. Sometimes as a small child the thing you really set your heart on is cheap tat so the parents get you that together with something boring and useful.

Mainly though why judge other people’s Christmas presents?!

TurnUpTurnip · 17/12/2021 21:18

Wasn’t a child given a desk as a birthday present on here I’m sure I read this thread, can’t see much difference to that? Everyone said it was fine as a present

Hellocatshome · 17/12/2021 21:20

In the past when I have not had money, the kids have got things they need as Christmas presents because I could not afford the things they needed AND presents. Sounds like he will get plenty of presents so I dont think you need to be judge about this.

IKnowAPlace · 17/12/2021 21:22

I realise this might sound a bit judgey - I suppose I just find it odd that we're expected to buy the good gifts (from the list). I'd want the parent points for getting a cool gift Grin

The drawers will be for clothes - bedroom is tiny so there are currently just under bed storage boxes and a container for toys.

Fair point that the whole experience of building the drawers this weekend will possibly be a fun thing in itself. Only a kid could enjoy flat pack!

OP posts:
TuftyMarmoset · 17/12/2021 21:23

Plain drawers I agree is not really a present. But I think other furniture could be a present, for example a racing car or other novelty bed like one with a slide. Or one of these www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/ikea-ps-loemsk-swivel-armchair-white-red-10407136/
If it were untreated pine drawers that the child could decorate that would be fun as well. But it looks like laminate.

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 17/12/2021 21:23

If they spend £500 on each other for Christmas, I'm willing to bet their 'small token present' is simular to an expensive gift for most families tbh

londonrach · 17/12/2021 21:26

Yabu. The nasty mn who said parents were tight no idea re real life. A new set of drawers is amazing gift. I'm tight, my dd getting second hand toys either free or £1 or £2 but gets gets food and love. She doesn't care and aged 5 asked for nothing from santa.

Elfonthesofa · 17/12/2021 21:32

I can see their point. I have a large family as does DH and every year our DC are inundated with ridiculous amounts of stuff. I'm at the stage now where I'm quite insistent on people (ie MIL) buying clothes that will actually get worn rather than a billion toys that will never be played with.

MargaretThursday · 17/12/2021 21:33

It depends on how you sell it to the 4yo.
"Wow, now you're big you need to have a big boy/girl's chest of drawers, don't you? Why don't we look through the catalogue and see what you like? Do you want white ones? Oh they're lovely. I wonder if Santa might bring you those as you've been so good this year..."

I convinced mine that all sorts were amazing gifts at that age. They're teens and older and still ask for furniture and things like that as presents, and have never shown any sign of resenting getting it in the past.

RedWingBoots · 17/12/2021 21:39

I've missed a trick here.

Should have got my DD's drawers as a Christmas present as she is enjoying playing in the large box they came in.

To be fair my DD has got loads of toys that have been handed to me so I will just wrap them up.