To think bedroom furniture isn't really a gift for a 4 YO?

[IKnowAPlace]

My cousin proudly told me that their DS4 is getting a new set of drawers for Christmas from them. They're basic IKEA drawers. He's getting these this weekend with a new duvet cover then a small token Santa gift on Christmas day.

They're relying on family and friends to buy many other gifts - we've been given lists (including being asked to provide "experiences" - I like this idea, but the available days mean it's basically to cover Christmas holidays). We have to drop gifts off so they're under the tree on Christmas morning which is causing a few people issues as they live quite far out of town.

Now, I'm not hugely into consumerism and seeing mountains of plastic toys piling up at Christmas but drawers seem like more of an essential home item than a gift. The parents both have good jobs and buy each other expensive gifts (£500+) so it's not that they're needing to combine an essential purchase with a Christmas gift.

Will he clock that it's an odd gift from parents at 4? Or will the other gifts from us mean he won't notice?

YBAU - he won't notice
YNBAU - it's a bit strange

@IKnowAPlace

I realise this might sound a bit judgey - I suppose I just find it odd that we're expected to buy the good gifts (from the list). I'd want the parent points for getting a cool gift

The drawers will be for clothes - bedroom is tiny so there are currently just under bed storage boxes and a container for toys.

Fair point that the whole experience of building the drawers this weekend will possibly be a fun thing in itself. Only a kid could enjoy flat pack!

It sounds like they are expecting wider friends & family to supply Christmas for their child.

I don’t have a problem with wider family buying gifts off the list, especially if we are struggling, but they give the presents themselves, they don’t go under the tree.

To be fair, I like that they tell me what he'd like/actually use. The drop off slot isn't a huge deal to me either, just to some other family. I also think some of them like to see him unwrap their gift

@Kendodd flat pack boxes aren't interesting as they are flat.

Now the box my DD drawers came in is interesting as she can stand in it.

The drawers are still not a present though.

Our friends bought their sons a new bed for their birthdays

So did we, DS asked for a bunk bed for his 4th birthday but didn't get one as he was too young. He was very happy when he finally got it for his 5th birthday (It's actually a mid sleeper so a bit lower but he doesn't know the difference)

Their child has a small room with limited storage,they may have felt uncomfortable asking relatives to curb present buying (young children can get huge piles of presents from relatives that clutter up the place). By restricting their present buying they may be making room for relatives presents.

I agree with others that it seems impossible to persuade (some) relatives to tone down the deluge of crap that submerges many kids at Christmas. So the parents toning down theirs seems sensible.

Sounds a great idea to me.
If the house is already going to be overrun with presents from wider family why add to the consumerism?
4 year olds don't need 1001 presents. Just a few we'll chosen ones and a chest of drawers to keep them in

They are essential items, not gifts. Unless I'm seeing a relative on or around Christmas Day I don't get anyone outside of my immediate family a gift. Otherwise where would it end?
They know it's a rubbish gift which is why they've done it the way they have. Frankly I'd just say you were on a low budget and have decided not to buy gifts for the wider family and are happy not to receive any too.

The chest of drawers, or the bed, or whatever, would have had to be brought anyway so that makes it not a gift. If they want to dial back on gifts fine. But the furniture doesn't need to be packaged up as a gift.... somewhere to keep socks is not exactly thrilling!

We only buy for the kids anyway - cousin's DS and my brother's two DDs. I've spent about £35 on books (mix of ones to keep and ones to read now) and will likely spend more than that making up our adventure day.

Maybe this is why I'm a bit at what seems like a stingy gift from them. They have at least four of us lined up to offer these "experience days" too (essentially free babysitting but I don't mind that as I love hanging out with him).

My 6 year old is very keen to get a BIG Kallax with mini shelves on the higher boxes so her little brother can't shred her favourite Lego creations but she can still look at them, so furniture could be a gift if they keep wanting independence and getting their own clothes!

Why can’t people accept that not everyone is the same? Kids have different desires, families have different values or different experiences of what constitutes a gift.

From everything said so far it sounds like this is a child who is going to have plenty to wake up to on Christmas Day, they are not in any way deprived.

You don’t have to buy your own child a chest of drawers. Someone else wants to. All fine.