To think periods are a terrible design flaw in the human race

[CrumpledCrumpet]

Humans are quite remarkably cleverly designed creatures. Binocular vision, opposable thumbs, walking upright - we’ve got it all going on. But honestly, who came up with periods?

AIBU to think this is a massive design fault and someone needs to go back to the drawing board and come up with something better?

@BewareTheRedNosedDragon yes I agree that there are things far beyond our attitudes that affect our periods.

But I am saying for people like @fomofo who Is saying over and over that periods are awful , a waste of time, and shit, and they are just dark liquid coming out of her orifice, etc.,

How likely is she going to see her period in a positive way, at any time in the near future?

I do think our attitudes are important in this way. How we talk about our cycle and our body does impact our experiences.

Well I started this as a bit of a joke but I’ve learnt a heap about evolutionary biology and history. Fascinating!

I didn't read each post so these things may have been said already.

Historically women would bled much less and for a shorter amount of time. But this was due to poor nutrition.

Most other mammels have periods but they shed the lining internally and it's reabsorbed into the uterus. E.G. rats etc. Dogs bleed outside too but that's at least useful to make dogs as a flag to mate.

So yes OP. You're not BU at all. We've traded our big, wrinkled brains for a drippy uterine lining. It's a flaw in the design. Lol.

I'm in my late thirties so overall I don't have that many periods left to have. Menopause in my family has been late forties.

I cherish every period I have. It is a sign of this time of my life. I won't always have them. I like feeling at this point in time. It signals time to me, and what stage and age I am at as a woman

There's actually archaeological evidence to suggest that children who grew up in close proximity to their maternal grandmothers had better survival rates, so clearly we do have some evolutionary purpose post-childbearing age!

Yes, I'm pretty sure I've seen some animal studies which showed similar. Reasoning is of course that the maternal grandmother is pretty sure the grandchild is genetically theirs, whereas the paternal grandmother can never be entirely sure. Subconscious but drives more protective and food gathering behaviour for the maternal side.

I remember talking about the paper to my DMIL one evening - and she agreed . Thankfully both DC are spitting images of DH as a child (can't be told apart on photos), so hopefully she'll subconsciously decide my DC are worth nurturing.

She's lovely really.

@samwitwicky

I don't mind my period as much as I fucking hate the mood / hormone cycle.

I want to feel the same, every day!

I can't imagine having linear emotions. Not sure I would like it.

@Tinselscarf

There's actually archaeological evidence to suggest that children who grew up in close proximity to their maternal grandmothers had better survival rates, so clearly we do have some evolutionary purpose post-childbearing age!

Yes, I'm pretty sure I've seen some animal studies which showed similar. Reasoning is of course that the maternal grandmother is pretty sure the grandchild is genetically theirs, whereas the paternal grandmother can never be entirely sure. Subconscious but drives more protective and food gathering behaviour for the maternal side.

I remember talking about the paper to my DMIL one evening - and she agreed . Thankfully both DC are spitting images of DH as a child (can't be told apart on photos), so hopefully she'll subconsciously decide my DC are worth nurturing.

She's lovely really.

Yes that definitely makes sense! I also read there is evidence that proximity to the paternal grandmother had a negative effect on survival, which is something I thought best not to share with my own MIL

My issue is at the age of 35 / I am suddenly getting such angry acne a week before and throughout the duration of my monthly period.

So 50% of my life I have awful awful acne

I think it's a bit patronising to suggest we should all be happy about monthly bleeding for the privilege of having kids

[quote Mufasa1118]@NeverDropYourMooncup what are you laughing at? Care to elaborate?
.[/quote]
The fact that you seem to believe that your body functions well because of the sheer force of your mind. Magical thinking is utter bullshit - it doesn't make a period less painful if it's going to be a painful one any more than it makes a broken leg, cancer or tendinosis any less painful.

I don't even have painful periods beyond some sacral pain on the first night that's sorted out with a quick trigger point massage and in extremis, two paracetamol. But I know damn well that thinking happy thoughts makes fuck all difference to medical conditions - which could be things like endometriosis, fibroids or hormone issues, hypermobility and hundreds of other things.

You just have manageable periods. No other reason. You aren't special. You're just a bit lucky (and presumably have never experienced a decidual cast - you'd notice the difference from a normal period if you did - still perfectly normal, but still a world away from the standard for you/me - and some, many, women experience that level of intensity of pain every single month.)

@Fomofo I am 37. I have never had children and I don't want children. I will never have children.

I'm the one that said I enjoyed my periods.

To me - my womb is not just about having children

My womb Is part of me, it is part of my body.

I can understand you opinion. Why have a womb and periods when you never want kids.

But to me my womb is not just about that. It is part of me whether I have kids or not. It is my essence

@NeverDropYourMooncup you don't know anything about my history and you have assumed a lot. I believe that my way of thinking has changed my periods a lot

When I was a teenager I was told by older women that periods were painful, awful things.
I began to be afraid about periods, I believed this about periods, that they were going to be painful and awful, and I then had really terribly painful periods for my teens and most of my twenties.

When I hit thirtyI began doing more research on periods. I looked up women who enjoyed their periods, who painted with their blood, or who poured blood on their plants. Who respected their periods. These women set aside time each month to make their period a positive thing. I looked up how ancient tribes respected menstruation. I did a lot more research on menstruation. I began to look forward to my periods every month.

And once I started thinking positively about my periods , I have never ever experienced a painful period again. I have thoroughly enjoyed every period since.

The mind is a very powerful tool.

I never said I was special. I am saying the media and society constantly promotes a negative view of menstruation, and this is how many women began to see menstruation as negative.

I would really recommend women to look up positive examples of menstruation.

@neverdropyourmooncup
You said "The fact that you seem to believe that your body functions well because of the sheer force of your mind. Magical thinking is utter bullshit".
I disagree. What about the placebo effect?. Many scientific studies have shown that if people believe something will happen to their body, it will.
The mind is very powerful. A lot of scientific studies have shown this.

For example, if a patient receives a fake pain medication in a healing environment and the healthcare provider tells the patient that they are receiving a powerful pain treatment, many patients would report positive results.

I agree.

[quote Mufasa1118]@neverdropyourmooncup
You said "The fact that you seem to believe that your body functions well because of the sheer force of your mind. Magical thinking is utter bullshit".
I disagree. What about the placebo effect?. Many scientific studies have shown that if people believe something will happen to their body, it will.
The mind is very powerful. A lot of scientific studies have shown this.

For example, if a patient receives a fake pain medication in a healing environment and the healthcare provider tells the patient that they are receiving a powerful pain treatment, many patients would report positive results.[/quote]
So why do people die of cancer, then? All they need to do is convince themselves that raw juicing/prayer/howling at the moon will cure them, no need for expensive drugs and surgery.
Did they not believe hard enough? Is it their fault they die because they weren't able to think the pain and cancer away?

The mind is very powerful. A lot of scientific studies have shown this.

Maybe, but IME, remembering childbirth, the uterus has a more powerful mind of its own. (it was a right bugger when I was a teen too, squeezing itself for sickeningly painful dysmenorrhea for reasons only known to itself.)

Wish there was a place you could store your womb until you needed it. Ive literally only used mine for a total of 18 months - created humans and it's no longer required. Like the idea of a period pellet though.

i never said I was special. I am saying the media and society constantly promotes a negative view of menstruation, and this is how many women began to see menstruation as negative.

My main influence before I started my periods was TV ads that convinced me that I could just pop in a tampon and then frolic about in tight white shorts in a carefree and joyful manner. I went through puberty very late so I was pretty pleased when they finally turned up. I went into it full of positivity.

I was not prepared at all for cramps so bad I sometimes couldn’t stand up.

I distinctly remember one time lying on the floor of the school toilets when the bell went for the end of the school day and thinking “well I guess I’m going to be here all night then”. Fortunately some friends came looking for me and more or less carried me onto the school bus.

This is probably the only post I've found interesting that has not been removed because ' it's not in the spirit of mumsnet' whatever the h that means
Thanks for starting it op.

@penniesdimesapplespears

This is probably the only post I've found interesting that has not been removed because ' it's not in the spirit of mumsnet' whatever the h that means Thanks for starting it op.

Thread of course, not post

Mufasa1118
I would really recommend women to look up positive examples of menstruation.

Or just be lucky and have a mother who didn't have painful periods, or who told her daughter that they were a nuisance but nothing to worry about, I suppose.

When I was a teenager I was told by older women that periods were painful, awful things.

That's nasty.

No adult woman ever told me when I was a child or adolescent that periods would be painful. Why do that? I have never told anyone who had not had one what a period is like: why would I?

I do agree though that being positive may help with some uterus pain. If you are afraid of labour and have been fed with horror stories about it, that will probably make it worse -- because if you are afraid, blood gathers in your limbs for flight-or-fight, and if you are in labour you need blood to gather in your abdomen to assist the labour. That one really does seem to be true.

I told a lie there: I did tell my daughters roughly what to expect, emphasising that I could only speak for me and everyone is different. But I didn't tell them horror-stories! Good grief...

Periods I’d gladly have, after awful menopause and full time hormonal depression

Really enjoying this thread! I'm from a scientific background and never understood why nature would have created us to bleed everywhere, potentially attracting predators. I assume we just walked around openly bleeding in prehistoric times? When and why did it become a taboo?

My mum was relatively open and factual about periods, but I started mine shortly after I turned 11 and she seemed very concerned about it. Which then made me a bit embarrassed and concerned about it. But it turned out a few of my classmates got theirs at 10/11 too, including my best friend. I'm cool with periods now, but I'm not a fan of how exhausted and moody I get for a week or so each month.

@Littlewillowy

Really enjoying this thread! I'm from a scientific background and never understood why nature would have created us to bleed everywhere, potentially attracting predators. I assume we just walked around openly bleeding in prehistoric times? When and why did it become a taboo?

My mum was relatively open and factual about periods, but I started mine shortly after I turned 11 and she seemed very concerned about it. Which then made me a bit embarrassed and concerned about it. But it turned out a few of my classmates got theirs at 10/11 too, including my best friend. I'm cool with periods now, but I'm not a fan of how exhausted and moody I get for a week or so each month.

Became a taboo when the Abrahamic religions took over and wanted to push women to bottom of pile.