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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off at a relative coming for Christmas Dinner and wanting ...

88 replies

Magrat · 19/12/2007 12:19

a jacket potato

I don't mean instead of roasts or anything .. I mean on it's own .. just that .. won't have anything else just the jacket

gawd she has such food issshoooooooos

OP posts:

allIWannaBeForChristmas · 19/12/2007 13:13

it's rude IMO. if she doesn't want turkey/veg then why not just have rost potatoes, if she really must be that picky?

presumably your 3 and 6 yo's will be eating normal food and this is a grown woman you are talking about?

Original poster

Magrat · 19/12/2007 13:15

I get so much pleasure from food .. I just can't understand how she's changed .. she worries me

s'not about the spud .. have no issues with the spud .. she's just getting odder as she gets older ... she won't get help for it .. I'm just cross at her for being ill I think

OP posts:

Snaf · 19/12/2007 13:15

Y'see, the phrase 'it's only food' just does not compute with me. Food is Very Important

Agree with the 'more pud' argument, though!

handlemecarefully · 19/12/2007 13:15

It's a bit odd...but I think I'd just give her the baked potato - not seeing as my role to tackle her food issues head on and all that....

Pennies · 19/12/2007 13:16

The whole bunch sound like a nightmare to feed. I think it's rude to start demanding things for preference purposes when you're a guest. If you can't find something you like in the whole feast that is Xmas dinner then you've got a problem IMO.

HowTheGibbonStoleChristmas · 19/12/2007 13:16

Frustration at not being able to help her Twig? I can understand that.

(it is Twig isn't it?)

discoverlife · 19/12/2007 13:16

Fraid to say if it was me, I wouldn't invite them. I go to the trouble of hours of preperation, to have a family stick their noses up at it. Sorry but no, I like my food to be be apprieciated . I will cater for vegetarians and Moslems, but only to the extent that I will cook some kind of lentil roast (same vegetables as the rest) for the veggies and not use the bacon/sausage juices for the gravy.
It would really make me grumpy to not have the food enjoyed properly, no matter how polite they were.
They could always come in the evening and enjoy a friendly drink.

HowTheGibbonStoleChristmas · 19/12/2007 13:17

Having a food issue that has spanned years is hardly turning their nose up.

allIWannaBeForChristmas · 19/12/2007 13:17

some people eat to live. I, on the other hand, do things the other way around .

find it that people could not enjoy food.

Snaf · 19/12/2007 13:18

God, me too, wannabe. Talking of which, lunch calls...

edam · 19/12/2007 13:23

poor woman, life must be really miserable for her. It's a bit of a pain in the bum but at least she's asked for something really easy for herself and given you plenty of warning. The thing about the whole family all needing different stuff is a really extreme, though, they must be very good friends for you to put up with it!

AMerryScot · 19/12/2007 13:23

Given that 99% of Mumsnetters have been pregnant, and over half of us have suffered some form of MS, we can surely have some empathy for those who have severely limited appetites. It is not a fun place to be, and certainly as people get older they can be put off by richness and quantity.

I would imagine that this lady is not totally restricted to a plain baked potato, but she is choosing something that she knows will not get in the way of what is a very complicated feast.

Snowleopard · 19/12/2007 13:24

Oh I have a friend like this... she also brings her own crazy/minimalist food, she has had these isshoos the whole time I've known her (she never seems to address the fact that the terrible foods that she can't have change approx every 6 months!). I am nice about it, I smile benignly and ask courteously what she can have, I never confront her because it wouldn't help. But god it pisses me off and I don't think YABU at all for minding. In private me and DP sound off about it (we are close friends and do a lot of things together so it's an ongoing annoyance) because it is just miserable, boring, tiresome and a right feckin pain in the arse tbh. I'm sure she can't help it and it all feels real to her but the effect on others is that you can never have a relaxed, carefree meal that everyone enjoys. As others have said I would understand genuine allergies and intolerances, but when it is ishoos, rightly or wrongly it gets right on my tits.

ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd · 19/12/2007 13:26

You lot are so reasonable, so accommodating ... I'd be hard pressed to spare her a fork.

This woman's issues are going to make everyone else feel awkward possibly.

Original poster

Magrat · 19/12/2007 13:27

it's one of my sisters ... you can choose your friends edam ..

interestingly this is the sister who had a right go at me for not inviting her to our house (despite the fact she'd turned down every invitation for 2 years and I'd fallen into the habit of driving my kids for 2.5 hours .. there and back .. to see her)

OP posts:

AMerryScot · 19/12/2007 13:28

Why do other people have to feel awkward?

ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd · 19/12/2007 13:30

Oh come on, picture the scene - turkey being carved, dishes being passed round, folk having seconds ... and Mrs Potato Head sitting pushing a lonely tattie around her plate.

I'm just being honest here, problem or not it would pee me right off.

Original poster

Magrat · 19/12/2007 13:31

of course there are advantages

one of the avoidance tactics is washing up

OP posts:

AMerryScot · 19/12/2007 13:32

I don't get it, Chubby. Who are you pissed off for - you or her? Is she secretly judging you about having a turkey dinner instead of a BP?

nowbringussomeJammypudding · 19/12/2007 13:33

Although this is a bit odd, it's not that difficult to do - even if it does have to be done in the microwave. And you have been given warning. A few years ago me and DH were going to my parents and offered to cook Xmas dinner. Then my sister, her husband and their 2 grown up children invited themselves round without anyone asking us, so we were suddenly cooking for 9 not 5. On Xmas day they turned up about an hour before dinner and I was presented with a packet of frozen duck a l'orange, "cook this, X doesn't like turkey". No warning that I would need to fit an extra dish in an already bulging oven, no apologies, no thanks. So while the potato request may seem odd, it could be worse.

ChubbyStuckForAFestiveNameBurd · 19/12/2007 13:35

I'm just pissed off ....

HowTheGibbonStoleChristmas · 19/12/2007 13:35

It's only a Jacket potato ffs

Hardly something to feel so passionate about chubby

mumzyof2 · 19/12/2007 13:35

Margrat, my son is a veggie, hes three, but thats because Iv brought him up that way. Its done him no harm, and hes actually taller and stronger than most of the children in his pre-school, however, I know that wasnt a point raised, I just want to point it out before peeople question.
Although, why souldnt a three year old veggie be treated with the same amount of respect as a 20 year old one?
I agree with you on the rest of it, but you lost me there.

handlemecarefully · 19/12/2007 13:39

Anyway - I hope your dh is better now

soopermum1 · 19/12/2007 13:39

YABU, leave her to her jacket potato, it's no big deal for you to cook, and enjoy your xmas dinner with all the trimmings

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