To have unvaxxed friend to visit

[BloodyC19Xmas]

Name changed as this will probably out me!

Ok Xmas day is meant to be at my mums house. She's technically clinically vulnerable but she's not got anything life ending like cancer etc but does affect the quality of her life.

My friend was going to visit Xmas Eve as it's their first year after a nasty divorce and we're dreading xmas waking up without their kids, missing the fun of santa etc and so I invited to spend Xmas with my dh and kids.

My mum discovered my friend is unvaxxed and absolutely fair enough she said they couldn't go to her house so we changed plans so friend could come to us overnight on Xmas eve and we could go to my mums house Xmas lunchtime after friend went home to pick up their kids.

Now with omnicron accelerating, mum has lost it, she's completely paranoid and convinced she's going to die if she gets it. In spite of her having 3 vaccines already...

And she's said if my friend comes to visit that we can't go to visit them on Xmas day cos she doesn't want to risk it. 🤦🏼‍♀️
My kids are young and they will be gutted to miss Xmas with their grandparents. This is the main issue for me here.

I'm fuming cos hubby and I are around unvaxxed people all the time as we both work in public sector key worker jobs but that's not bothered her before.

My friend said they'd have a covid test before they came to visit and we said we'd have one before we went to mums so I really can't see the huge issue. (Besides a narcissist trying to control the narrative)
Aibu?

I keep reading the thread title as “unwaxed friend”.

I don’t think your mum is being unreasonable.

You socialising with this friend does increase your mothers risk. She may be willing to risk it to see her grandchildren who cannot be vaccinated but not want to increase her risk with an unvaxxed adult. I think it's hugely unfair on the kids to miss Christmas with their family.

My MIL is acting the same, potentially now not coming to us for boxing day due to us having children.

However they'll have been 8 days home from school by then. And they actually wear masks all day, and did even when they didn't have to.

Yet they'll spend christmas day with SIL and her family quite happily

I'd say okay then and happily spend Christmas at my own house!

Your friend has made her choice and with choices come consequences.

Yeah you're mum is being completely ridiculous and doesn't understand how the vaccine works.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4427623-to-have-unvaxxed-friend-to-visit

I’d see my friend as planned if I was you.

Not RTFT but if people aren't comfortable seeing you for WHATEVER reason during this time, please don't tell them to stop being stupid. Let them make choices for themselves and don't be so selfish.

Neither of you is BU I guess as you each have the right to say who can come to your home.

I would honour my promise to my friend and probably enjoy my Christmas a whole lot more without visiting DM if she has form for being this tricky.

If she is clinically vulnerable, that means she is at risk by definition, no matter what condition she has. So I think in this case YABU

[quote Scandisaurus]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4427623-to-have-unvaxxed-friend-to-visit[/quote]
WTAF is your point?

This is the most quickly transmissible variant we have had to date, and your mum is clinically vulnerable. She's entitled to take this stance, and you will just have to decide how you are going to react.

But being vaccinated doesn't stop anyone from catching/spreading covid so it doesn't make sense.

I don't understand how fibromyalgia makes your mum clinically vulnerable, op. Is it because of medication she takes for it?

I've said on principle that I would refuse to go to any event where the hosts asked me to do an LFT beforehand. Given that your mum is clinically vulnerable, I would make an exception in her case, even though LFTs aren't very reliable.
I really struggle to understand the mentality of asking people's vaccination status, as in if they are unvaccinated then deciding not to entertain them. I can only conclude that these sorts of people are not reading the science and just getting whipped up into a frenzy by the media.

Your mum is being unreasonable.

The unvaxxed friend is risking her own health nobody else's.

People have been displaying symptoms, but showing negative covid test results till a few days later ( and finally testing positive) so I’m not sure that her/you testing negative on Xmas Eve /Xmas means anything

Could you have your friend on Boxing Day (ie after you've been to your mum's) especially as you've said your kids don't want to miss Christmas with their grandparents?

@BloodyC19Xmas what did you do in the end?

[quote InexperiencedDogOwner]@BloodyC19Xmas what did you do in the end?[/quote]
My friend came on Xmas eve as planned and it was so much fun, it sucks living so far apart but as concession, they actually did LFT for 3 days before coming and so did me and hubby.
It seemed to calm my mums anxiety a bit so thankfully all went ahead as planned once I made it clear I wasn't cancelling.

@InexperiencedDogOwner

Hubby and I have both had boosters as have all the other adults in the immediate family, that was another condition she put on us ALL for visiting her. 🙈 Fortunately one that I didn't mind.

Wow she sounds very controlling but good that you put your foot down and didn't change your plans for her!

I’m confused by all the vaccinated or not vaccinated surely either can carry covid and the vaccination just means if you do get covid then you don’t suffer as bad or have I got this totally wrong?

@Queenie24

I’m confused by all the vaccinated or not vaccinated surely either can carry covid and the vaccination just means if you do get covid then you don’t suffer as bad or have I got this totally wrong?

I'm pretty sure your 100% right!