AIBU to ask Dr to lie on sick note?

[SoSickHelp]

Been lurking on this sub for a little while now and wanted to ask for some guidance about my 'expectations' and see if anyone has any advice if I am deemed unreasonable.

I am newly pregnant with my first child, after lord knows how many years of trying.

However I have been suffering over the past 4 weeks with 'morning' sickness (false advertising on that one!) and been struggling to work through it. At the start it was sporadic days off sick, so maybe a Monday and a Thursday of the same week as I could manage on the other days. However I am nearing day 7 of a continued period of sickness and am getting close to needing a note from my Dr.

As I am still on probation at work with 4 weeks left to go I don't want to tell them about my pregnancy, would I be unreasonable to ask my Dr not to put morning sickness on the note? Would they even be able to do that? I don't want to ask if it's an unreasonable request.

I've been feeling really low lately, I know so many women who have managed to work fine through early pregnancy and feel a bit 'weak' for having to take so much time off, does anyone have any advice on how to alleviate this as thinking ahead, even if my Dr is able to put a non pregnancy related reason for my current period of sickness, if it continues to impact work I might need to tell them as any 'fake' illness might not require continued time off etc.

A doctor will not lie for you.

The thing with pregnancy sickness is you need to find what works for you and manage it the best you can. It’s shit but if usually improves. For me, plenty of sleep and never letting my stomach get empty helped considerably.

Also, for your own safety you should consider telling someone at work in confidence.

As a GP I wouldn’t lie for you, no. It’s a legal document. Why not get some advice on how to manage the symptoms? You could look online or speak to a pharmacist or mid wife first?

Your doctor won’t lie but may be able to write something which covers your symptoms such as nausea/ vertigo. But any employer will expect that sort of illness to resolve pretty quickly.

Don’t ask them to lie just ask if there’s a way of wording it that doesn’t automatically imply pregnancy.

When I had a miscarriage the dr wrote gynae issues as I didn't want them
To know - v make
Dominated environment if they got whiff of me trying there would have been repercussions.

They wont lie but the can fluff around the issue by being vague. Talk to them, see what they say.

I'd tell someone at work - HR or line manager - so they're aware you're not just skiving tbh

Your pregnancy will offer you protection, so it is better to have it known than not. The GP may write nausea and vomiting if you ask, as this isn't lying. But I would strongly urge you to have it included to protect yourself given pregnancy related absences do not count towards disciplinary action.
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/

I hadn't planned to tell anyone until 3 months but was hospitalised with hyperemesis at 7 weeks after constant sickness and losing weight rapidly. So much for that.
A doctor won't lie outright but I guess they might consider putting vomiting down?

Sorry you’re not feeling well. And no I hope a GP wouldn’t lie. However I don’t think it makes a difference whether or not you’ve passed probation or not. You have no unfair dismissal rights for 2 years, probation doesn’t change anything and unfortunately just being off sick means they are likely to extend/fail probation especially if they don’t know you’re pregnant (which gives you a little legal protection).

They can’t lie, they would get struck off. They may be able to be vague but if you are a probationary worker and you’re having recurrent absences with vague symptoms then surely that would make them more likely to not keep you on? I’d say you’re better being honest.

They won't lie for you.

You do need to find ways of managing though. I was sick up to about 20 weeks with all my pregnancy's. Ginger and lemon tea/crackers/anti sickness bracelets. Give everything a try.

Congratulations

@Mummydoctor

As a GP I wouldn’t lie for you, no. It’s a legal document. Why not get some advice on how to manage the symptoms? You could look online or speak to a pharmacist or mid wife first?

I have consulted my Dr about this and they said about not being willing to prescribe anything yet in terms of anti sickness. Had my first midwife meeting last week and she advised me to get some sickness bracelet things which haven't worked either. I am sick every 20 mins in the day and at least once an hour in the night - have had next to no sleep and can't even keep a ginger nut down :(

As posters above said no GP won’t lie, they could certainly put nausea and vomiting but if sickness is recorded as pregnancy related then you are protected as it doesn’t count like other sick leave would do. It’s hard if you don’t want to disclose it, but sometimes it can be the best thing to do.

Ah this is easy. I have HG ( for a second time and have got many notes from different GPs ) it's not lying at all. It's private information and the doctors always asked me what I wanted to be put on the note. ' would you be comfortable with pregnancy related sickness ? Or shall we write something else on there ? '.

In my case I was comfortable with it.

Don't see it as asking them to lie. You're asking for discretion. Just explain your situation, that you're not ready to tell work yet and they'll help you work around it.

I always told work right away to protect myself as pregnancy related sick leave, cannot be used against you, if they want to dismiss you etc. You can take as much of it as is required, without them firing you for it.

I hope you feel better soon. Don't feel weak. Everyone is different and suffers differently.

[quote ThisMustBeMyDream]Your pregnancy will offer you protection, so it is better to have it known than not. The GP may write nausea and vomiting if you ask, as this isn't lying. But I would strongly urge you to have it included to protect yourself given pregnancy related absences do not count towards disciplinary action.
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/[/quote]
this

also, your sickness sounds quite severe. How long has it been going on ? You may need medication, push for it. You may already be very dehydrated.

@xmastreezz

Ah this is easy. I have HG ( for a second time and have got many notes from different GPs ) it's not lying at all. It's private information and the doctors always asked me what I wanted to be put on the note. ' would you be comfortable with pregnancy related sickness ? Or shall we write something else on there ? '.

In my case I was comfortable with it.

Don't see it as asking them to lie. You're asking for discretion. Just explain your situation, that you're not ready to tell work yet and they'll help you work around it.

I always told work right away to protect myself as pregnancy related sick leave, cannot be used against you, if they want to dismiss you etc. You can take as much of it as is required, without them firing you for it.

I hope you feel better soon. Don't feel weak. Everyone is different and suffers differently.

Thank you for this, will definitely mull it over telling them, as I hadn't thought about the protections element prior to posting this.

I am a high performance worker and have smashed all my 6 month goals already but just something nagging me about not telling them - probably some form of prolonged brain fart clouding my judgement.

@xmastreezz

also, your sickness sounds quite severe. How long has it been going on ? You may need medication, push for it. You may already be very dehydrated.

I've just reached 9 weeks and the sickness has been going on for 4, although has got significantly worse over the past 2 weeks (was 'manageable' in the first couple of weeks)

Yeah the sickness bracelets and ginger fucking biscuits might work on normal nausea, but not on what you or I have.

You need to make another appointment with the GP ASAP. It sounds like you're not keeping anything down at all. This is bad and you need proper help. Not fucking ginger tea and biscuits and sickness bands. They won't touch it.

Different situation but when I had a mc the doctor offered to lie on the sick note if I didn't want my work to know. I told my work the truth so didn't need the doctor to lie but he offered. You won't know till you ask.

I have consulted my Dr about this and they said about not being willing to prescribe anything yet in terms of anti sickness. Had my first midwife meeting last week and she advised me to get some sickness bracelet things which haven't worked either. I am sick every 20 mins

First, get a different GP and get some anti sickness tablets because that is a ridiculous thing to say to someone throwing up multiple times an hour.

In terms of the note, they won’t lie, but I suppose might write “prolonged vomiting” or something where it’s the symptom rather than the cause. When I had very bad mental health problems in my first pregnancy I was briefly signed off, and she wrote “pregnancy related illness” which was true but nicely vague.
However pregnancy related sickness is protected and not recorded like other sickness absence so telling work may be a good idea, particularly as your sickness sounds quite severe and possibly won’t be alleviated in a week.

I disagree with a lot of PP. A sympathetic GP will write sickness and exhaustion rather than morning sickness. When I was off sick following a miscarriage my lovely GP asked if I wanted miscarriage on my note - I didn't mind, because my manager knew. But I was pleased that the GP was so aware of the issues.

Yeah they may not outright lie, although one GP did for me, but they can work around it by being vague.

If you're in probation tell them as fast as you possibly can that you're pregnant. Pregnancy offers you a lot of legal protection that supersedes your contract regarding probation periods. Basically, it's very difficult to sack a pregnant person whos work standard has never been formally raised prior to you being officially informed of the pregnancy and as long as they know you're pregnant, they can't count your sick days off towards absence disciplinary either.

Sounds to me like you may well be starting with HVG, you're going to need a lot of first trimester sick days if that's the case so better to tell them now than later.

I feel your pain though, I fell pregnant with my son and then thought I'd miscarried him due to a massive bleed. I'd had a lot of miscarriages before and the Dr would only write me a note stating pregnancy loss as my reaosn for being off for a week.

4 weeks later I was feeling like crap and went to get checked out... turned out i was still pregnant, my baby had hung on in there and then i had to have a very awkward conversation with my boss!

You are being disgraceful to even consider trying to get a GP to lie for you on a med cert. What planet are you on?