AIBU to ask Dr to lie on sick note?

[SoSickHelp]

Been lurking on this sub for a little while now and wanted to ask for some guidance about my 'expectations' and see if anyone has any advice if I am deemed unreasonable.

I am newly pregnant with my first child, after lord knows how many years of trying.

However I have been suffering over the past 4 weeks with 'morning' sickness (false advertising on that one!) and been struggling to work through it. At the start it was sporadic days off sick, so maybe a Monday and a Thursday of the same week as I could manage on the other days. However I am nearing day 7 of a continued period of sickness and am getting close to needing a note from my Dr.

As I am still on probation at work with 4 weeks left to go I don't want to tell them about my pregnancy, would I be unreasonable to ask my Dr not to put morning sickness on the note? Would they even be able to do that? I don't want to ask if it's an unreasonable request.

I've been feeling really low lately, I know so many women who have managed to work fine through early pregnancy and feel a bit 'weak' for having to take so much time off, does anyone have any advice on how to alleviate this as thinking ahead, even if my Dr is able to put a non pregnancy related reason for my current period of sickness, if it continues to impact work I might need to tell them as any 'fake' illness might not require continued time off etc.

@Ariann

You are being disgraceful to even consider trying to get a GP to lie for you on a med cert. What planet are you on?

The planet where pregnant women are routinely discriminated against?

I'm a GP. I always offer to write something vague in situations like this, eg exhaustion/gynae issues. None of these are lies, they're just focusing on a different part of your illness. I would encourage you to be honest with your employer though, so they can support you and maybe put in place more breaks or adjust workload.
I worked on an EPAU during training so got very used to prescribing antiemetics for women, which is probably why I do it more easily than other colleagues now. I do suggest all the usual things too eg ginger, small meals etc but to be honest I think by the time women are contacting the GP they've done all that already! Contact your surgery again and tell them the measures they've suggested aren't working. There a few safe medicines you can take.

I work in HR. I suggest you tell someone in HR. You're so protected with anything to do with pregnancy it's best that they know that this is what your illness is as you won't be disciplined for it. They should be descrete about it.

I’m not sure about sick notes etc but I speak to a different GP. It’s outrageous not to prescribe you something when you’re being sick so often. It sounds like HG, rather than “normal” morning sickness. By 9 weeks I was on Cyclizine, and had been hospitalised for IV fluids and anti sickness medication because I had a sensible and sympathetic GP.

4 things I would advise:
1)Join the HG support thread on here - I honestly don’t think I’d have survived my pregnancy without all the support and advice.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4408652-Hyperemesis-Support

2. speak to someone at the Pregnancy Sickness Support charity - they can advise you on what you need to ask a GP for. They are MUCH a more knowledgeable than most GPs about pregnancy sickness and will point you in the right direction

www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/

3. Speak to a different GP at your practice if your current one thinks they can’t prescribe anything for pregnancy sickness - that’s just plain wrong. The medications have all been proved to be safe for pregnancy, and being dangerously dehydrated and malnourished is much more dangerous for you and your baby.

4. If all else fails, and you can afford it, get a private prescription for Xonvea. They hardly ever prescribe it on the NHS, but it’s sworn by for a lot of women.

Good luck, extreme sickness is so awful at what should be an exciting time.

I am sick every 20 mins in the day and at least once an hour in the night - have had next to no sleep and can't even keep a ginger nut down

This is defiently not typical morning sickness and the GP should be considering hyperemesis gravardium (sp). There is a real risk of dehydration here, and I think you need to have a conversation with the Pregancy assessment unit at your local hospital/your community midwife about treatment.

@Boombastic22

Sorry you’re not feeling well. And no I hope a GP wouldn’t lie. However I don’t think it makes a difference whether or not you’ve passed probation or not. You have no unfair dismissal rights for 2 years, probation doesn’t change anything and unfortunately just being off sick means they are likely to extend/fail probation especially if they don’t know you’re pregnant (which gives you a little legal protection).

This.

@Ariann

You are being disgraceful to even consider trying to get a GP to lie for you on a med cert. What planet are you on?

A planet where she is vomming 3x per hour continuously and even on here a support site for Mothers, she is being told she needs to "manage it better/eat biscuits"

@Ariann

You are being disgraceful to even consider trying to get a GP to lie for you on a med cert. What planet are you on?

Untwist your knickers - she's not asking a GP to lie, she's asking a GP to conceal personal information on a fit note which is completely reasonable and the GP should really ask under these circumstances whether she wants 'pregnancy related sickness' or just 'nausea' to be added to the note.

It's entirely reasonable to expect the GP to write the note without specifically stating pregnancy, and I can't imagine they'd have had any issue with it.

Lol at the people telling you that you'll 'have to learn to manage' it. If you've got HG, there is no managing it, just surviving it and hoping that it goes away.

[quote ThisMustBeMyDream]Your pregnancy will offer you protection, so it is better to have it known than not. The GP may write nausea and vomiting if you ask, as this isn't lying. But I would strongly urge you to have it included to protect yourself given pregnancy related absences do not count towards disciplinary action.
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/[/quote]
This 100%

In France it's illegal for an employer to be given details of your sickness - the doctor can write a note, but not specify a reason and employers have to honour the doctors opinion.

This website gives the best evidence based advice for managing pregnancy sickness and dealing with everyone who insists all levels of sickness are perfectly manageable with ginger biscuits and travel sickness bands.

This website www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/

You can only expect to receive the protection at work that pregnancy brings if you are willing to tell the truth.

@Ariann

You are being disgraceful to even consider trying to get a GP to lie for you on a med cert. What planet are you on?

A planet different to yours if you’ve never experienced HG. Go away

Call your GP, I’m sure if you prefer they can write a vague but correct note not mentioning pregnancy - also push for some medication.
First though do consider if you’re better off telling them ASAP as PPs have mentioned. Currently are you at risk of disciplinary due to the amount of sick leave you’re taking? You may have a lot more employment protection if you’ve told them you’re pregnant.

You should tell your work immediately that you ste pregnant. The moment you've made them aware you sre protected.
You are much less likely to pass your probation if you dont tell them and they think you are skyving.

Can't help but feel like those people saying "you need to manage your nausea better" have never experienced hyperemesis. There's no managing it. I couldn't even keep down dry bread and water. There was no managing the symptoms and no way you could work through it.

You have my sympathy. Take the time that you need and make sure you don't get dehydrated. Hope your GP can help you with creative wording if you can't tell your employer.

GPs will write anything that suits on a sicknote, so just talk to them and explain the situation. They can either lie completely or be 'economical' with the truth. There is no comeback on them at all.

The reason I know this....I previously managed a firm, and an employee walked in and handed me his sicknote, which the GP had written 'off work for 14 days as suffering from flu' on it. It really left us short at work, and clearly the employee did not have flu.....I rang the GP practice asking to speak to the GP and got told all the 'patient confidentiality' BS from the Reception staff. I then asked them to explain, without using patient specific details, how a GP could diagnose flu on a patient, who could walk in and walk out of their surgery as if nothing was wrong with them. Funnily enough they never replied.....following a call to the GMC I was told to take it up with the Practice Manager...the same one that had refused to answer my questions earlier on....

@Ariann

You are being disgraceful to even consider trying to get a GP to lie for you on a med cert. What planet are you on?

You're the one on the wrong planet.

Your pregnancy will offer you protection, so it is better to have it known than not.

This. With all those sick days they may decide to let you go, telling them protects you and provides an explanation for your absence.

As a GP I sometimes use "Debility" as a vague catch-all term for being unwell.

I'd also be happy to prescribe anti-sickness medication at your stage of pregnancy.

Really OP, depending how long you've not kept food down, you wouldn't be wrong to take yourself to a and e. That's what a decent GP will tell you to do if you've not kept anything down for a while. They'll give you fluids and anti sickness medicine on a drip.

I had to do this multiple times in the beginning of my pregnancy. It sucks, but it's the only way to get help when it's this acute. Can you keep water down ?

I had HG in my first pregnancy so definitely sympathise.

I can get why you wouldn't want to tell them your pregnant yet but honestly, the fact you're still in your probation, I think you would be better being honest. Pregnancy related sickness protects you - they can't discriminate against you being pregnant.

It sounds like you've already had a fair few days off sick because of this which could give them cause to extend your probation. If they know you're pregnant, that would make a difference.

You don't need to tell everybody but I would have a think about telling your manager

Also, I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with my second and got prescribed anti sickness tablets this week. I would keep on at your GP for them to try