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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by the quote ‘You Are Enough!’

78 replies

ChockaChick · 14/12/2021 22:05

…’Cos maybe you’re not. Maybe the other candidates for the job are more qualified and experienced than you are. Maybe you’ve got a bit complacent and some clients are about to make a justified complaint about you. Maybe you just don’t have sufficient talent g for a lead role in a West End show. Sorry.

OP posts:
RaPumPumPumPum · 14/12/2021 22:11

I agree with you, we are in the age of the Inspirational Quote and so many are just illogical and naff

LittleRoundRobin · 14/12/2021 22:14

I've never heard of it. Confused

TheHolyPotato · 14/12/2021 22:15

I understand it as each human having innate value.

OneRuleForThem · 14/12/2021 22:16

I’ve never heard a single person say once “you are enough” in my life, I can’t understand how that’s annoying when it’s something not recognisable as familiar

CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 14/12/2021 22:17

Surely the point is that even if you didn't get the job/lead role in the show that you are still "enough". IE don't give up. Keep improving. Keep trying.

Sometimes being told by someone that despite my failings I am "enough" is exactly what I need to hear.

Maybe you're mentally in a place that you don't think you're a total failure and therefore aren't "enough".

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 14/12/2021 22:17

Be with a man who smudges your lipstick, not your mascara" was probably the final push to me coming off Facebook last year 😂

1willgetthere · 14/12/2021 22:23

I have only heard it used to counter people comparing them selves to the perfect social media lives, not in the context you have used it as that doesn't make sense.

SassenachWitch · 14/12/2021 22:25

@ABCeasyasdohrayme same!

If I’ve sat putting my face on, someone smudging either would piss me right off!

HangingDitch · 14/12/2021 22:26

Never heard this saying but I agree, we exist in an age of superficial, meaningless bullshit.

We recently had a talk on imposter syndrome at work, which I agree is an actual thing. However, someone asked what if I don’t have imposter syndrome - what if I really am shit at my job? The presenter didn’t really have an answer.

TheHolyPotato · 14/12/2021 22:28

😂

AnFiaRuaNua · 14/12/2021 22:31

You're all lucky, you knew already that you were enough.

It was a new concept to me a few years ago.

normanthegonk · 14/12/2021 22:31

I like it.you have totally missed the point.

RickJames · 14/12/2021 22:33

Lol, its a nice thought but let's face it. If you are getting pissed up all the time, having horrible relationships and can't get your kids to school on time with clean faces, then no, you are not enough. You need to try a bit harder to get stuff under control!

I think its more something for the neurotics (I count myself in this group). Youve turned yourself inside out to make something perfect and you forgot to get the cake forks out/ napkins clashed with the table cloth/ your DS left a poo in the loo.

But I wish we all felt enough - im sure everyone's behaviour and mood would improve massively if we all felt good enough xx

AnFiaRuaNua · 14/12/2021 22:38

A lot of things that other people feel at their core, I need it to be put in to very concise inarguable English so that I can feel its sense.

Lindy2 · 14/12/2021 22:39

Context is everything.

I've used that phrase when I'm trying to reassure my anxious teen DD that she doesn't need to change her personality or try to be a different person to the one she actually is, because of peer pressure and feeling inadequate.

In other circumstances no one is ever enough as we should never stop learning or improving what we do.

I can't get worked up by the phrase though. It really isn't that important.

Thegreencup · 14/12/2021 22:42

I've never seen it used in the contexts that you've given.

I've seen it in situations were people are putting unrealistic expectations on themselves. Sometimes some people do need to hear that actually they have achieved more than the average person and they're doing OK even if their life doesn't look like social media.

I also think if you have mental health problems, it's something people need to hear sometimes. When I was on my absolute arse with depression, some days getting out of bed was an achievement. I know I was far from enough at that point. But being told I was doing a good enough job just getting out of bed on those days helped me hugely.

Original poster
ChockaChick · 14/12/2021 22:43

@HangingDitch that is such a good question!

I really screamed at my kids today for no good reason other than that I was tired of them whinging and a bit overwhelmed. I’m not proud of this and aspire to improve.

OP posts:
EishetChayil · 14/12/2021 22:45

It's stupid.

I feel the same about "it's ok not to be ok."

Sometimes it's just not ok to fall apart. You've got to keep going.

DrierThanANunsNasty · 14/12/2021 22:46

Literally never seen it used in the context you’re saying.

You seem vexed and upset OP. There, there… you are enough Wink

PippaRose · 14/12/2021 22:46

I interpret it more in the context of relationships i.e. you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone, for the right person you are enough as you are.

MoonbeamSprinkles · 14/12/2021 22:49

I understand it as each human having innate value.

This.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t improve or that you’re perfect at everything.

It means that you by virtue of you being alive as a unique individual you already have value.
And that should be your starting point rather than doing things to prove your worth.

Some people don’t need to hear this, and some do.

steff13 · 14/12/2021 22:51

I've used that phrase when I'm trying to reassure my anxious teen DD that she doesn't need to change her personality or try to be a different person to the one she actually is, because of peer pressure and feeling inadequate.

This is the situation, to my understanding, where it should be used. It means you, as a human being, are deserving of love and respect just the way you are, you don't have to change yourself to be worthy of those things. It doesn't have anything to do with work or your job or anything like that, it's about your worth as a person.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 14/12/2021 22:53

Never heard it being said in the context you've said.

It kind of has its place, but generally where it would be ok to say, I'd say the person is'perfect as they are' or whatever. If I care enough to reassure someone, they're already 'more than 'enough'

Original poster
ChockaChick · 14/12/2021 23:02

In the same vein, I just off went to check my inbox and found this:

‘As an NHS worker you’ve given so much of yourself over the past 20 months…’

How do they know? Maybe I haven’t. Maybe I’ve been really distracted by my own personal shit and not emotionally available to patients at all. Maybe I’ve had some really close shaves and would likely have been suspended by now if they’d come to light. Maybe I’ve been carrying out operations pissed.

Before anyone gets worried I’m not actually an NHS worker at all (they didn’t even get that part right).

OP posts:
Rosebel · 14/12/2021 23:03

It's "you are enough" not "you can do anything and everything better than anyone else."
The meaning behind it is quite simple. It just means don't change for others, that you are fine as you are.
I've never heard anyone say that in real life though only on social media.