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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my husband was way out of line?

80 replies

GrabAHike · 14/12/2021 21:03

"D"H is very fed up with all the Covid stuff at the moment. I wouldn't say he's a full on conspiracy theory nut but he loves to go on about how it's only a cold and everyone being sheep getting more than their two vaccines ect ect.

I try not to get dragged into it but sometimes we do have a bit of back and forth debating about it.

Tonight we were talking about vaccines and he did his usual going on a rant because I've booked the booster and how the media is controlling me yada yada... Anyway, I was explaining why, whilst I'm not overly concerned about Covid personally, I do think vaccines, like any vaccine, are good for X and Y reason.

Anyway long and short of it he ranted a bit more about it and then finished it with "YOU DAFT FUCKING COW".

Not jokingly, very seriously and obviously annoyed at me like I'd done some sort of awful thing Confused

I am so mad. I know it's not the worst insult in the world but the way he said it and the way it was so completely unnecessary has really pissed me off.

He is infuriating to talk to about anything like this, he thinks he knows best and I'm annoyed at myself for getting suckered into the conversation tonight but I wasn't saying anything personal to him and certainly wasn't arguing/shouting/raising voices, I am so pissed that he said that and made it into a personal argument.

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 14/12/2021 21:05

He's a prick.

An uneducated one.

Onehotmess · 14/12/2021 21:05

Just tell him you’re not prepared to talk about it any more. He shouldn’t have personally insulted you & definitely needs to apologise. After he’s apologised, don’t bring it up again and if he does, just leave the room x

Lilolily · 14/12/2021 21:06

Wow. Yeah that’s out of order.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/12/2021 21:07

There's no debating with anti-vaxxers. But there was no need for that!!

I hope you called him a condescending twat!

DrSbaitso · 14/12/2021 21:08

Does he often call you horrible names when you have a discussion?

Unreasonabubble · 14/12/2021 21:08

Remember to wave as you leave for the airport next Summer! Grin

Original poster
GrabAHike · 14/12/2021 21:09

@Onehotmess

Just tell him you’re not prepared to talk about it any more. He shouldn’t have personally insulted you & definitely needs to apologise. After he’s apologised, don’t bring it up again and if he does, just leave the room x
He won't apologise, he doesn't think he was wrong. He thinks I was acting like a "know it all" because I was explaining my personal views on why I think vaccines are a good idea Confused

Fair enough if I'd said "listen you uneducated idiot, vaccines are good because of X and Y" but literally all I said was I believe it's a good idea for this reason. I never once made any personal insult toward him.

He's always been a prick when it comes to disagreements. He knows everything so he thinks

OP posts:
Unanananana · 14/12/2021 21:09

You can't reason with stupid. Your DH sounds like a thick, disrespectful pig.

I don't know how you can stand to be around someone who speaks to you like that. Who the fuck does he think he is?

RubyFakeLips · 14/12/2021 21:12

I would tell him quite clearly it is an unacceptable way for him to speak to you under any circumstances. You will await his apology. You may want to make clear you have a differing opinion on this topic and it is best not discussed.

Personally, I'd tell the daft fucking cunt where to shove his attitude, opinions and general vibe then treat myself to a post vaccination champagne lunch on his card.

Waspsarearseholes · 14/12/2021 21:12

Oof he was way out of line. What on earth makes him think he has access to better information than the world's leading scientists? He really has outed himself as a really thick man. The insult just reiterates his lack of intelligence. At the very, very least he needs to apologise, and not because you've had to tell him to. See how long it takes him to work it out by himself.

Original poster
GrabAHike · 14/12/2021 21:16

@Waspsarearseholes

Oof he was way out of line. What on earth makes him think he has access to better information than the world's leading scientists? He really has outed himself as a really thick man. The insult just reiterates his lack of intelligence. At the very, very least he needs to apologise, and not because you've had to tell him to. See how long it takes him to work it out by himself.
He'll never work it out by himself. He's incredibly thick skulled with stuff like this. He is right and anyone else is just a sleep. I don't know why I got myself involved tonight I really don't. It just started out as a basic boring conversation over dinner! He gets more and more irate we the conversation goes on.

He won't apologise. He'll tell me I was being condescending or some other shit excuse. There's always a reason why things like this aren't actually his fault.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrabAHike · 14/12/2021 21:17

A sheep*

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 14/12/2021 21:18

The problem is the way he spoke to you and the insults - he can't contain his temper

Tell him he is NEVER to insult you again

And separately from the aggression and insults agree not to talk about Covid to each other

RosieCockle · 14/12/2021 21:19

Tell him he's a DAFT FUCKING TIN-HATTED CONSPIRACY THEORIST.

Apiddleawiddle · 14/12/2021 21:20

My oh called me a daft bitch once. ONCE. I made it very fucking clear that that will be the only time that happens. I don't give a fuck if he agrees or not, if I'm wrong or not, but speaking to me in that manner in an argument will resort in a one way ticket back to his mother as I won't tolerate it and is an automatic lose the argument. He discusses things with me in a calm manner or he walks away, do not resort to insults with me or I will unleash a demon of which the world has never seen before 😄

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/12/2021 21:20

It doesnt matter what the argument was about or who was condescending or winding who up or whatever...the critical thing is he insulted you, called you names and swore at you - and whatever else happened in the argument, this is, to me, unacceptable under any circumstances

Scarydinosaurs · 14/12/2021 21:22

Absolutely no way should he talk to you like that. And if he did lose his temper due to being under extreme pressure (clearly not this situation) then you would immediately apologise. He is so out of order!

Thelnebriati · 14/12/2021 21:24

Maybe the real reason he is angry is because he can't control the way you think.

RubyFakeLips · 14/12/2021 21:25

I think you need to try and resolve how much of an issue this particular difference of opinion will be in your relationship going forward.

Do you have children? If so, will their vaccination be an issue?

I read something about COVID being something to deal with for the next 3-5 years (sobs internally), is this going to become a real rift between you or can he accept your difference stances and get over it.

ripples101 · 14/12/2021 21:26

I would assume that one of his arguments is that no one has the right to stick anything into his body.

If that’s the case, then tell him he doesn’t have any right to have a go at you for anything that you have decided to have stuck in your body.

Christmascakecakecheese · 14/12/2021 21:27

He sounds really unpleasant.

Seafog · 14/12/2021 21:27

Does he have redeeming qualities? Cause so far he sounds like a super dick.

Fomofo · 14/12/2021 21:30

I just smile and nod, let the feckers rant

Peppercorn9 · 14/12/2021 21:33

He’s not only a dimwit but he fundamentally disrespects you. What are you getting from this relationship, OP?

Shoxfordian · 14/12/2021 21:34

He sounds rude and unkind to you

He has no respect for you