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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my husband was way out of line?

80 replies

GrabAHike · 14/12/2021 21:03

"D"H is very fed up with all the Covid stuff at the moment. I wouldn't say he's a full on conspiracy theory nut but he loves to go on about how it's only a cold and everyone being sheep getting more than their two vaccines ect ect.

I try not to get dragged into it but sometimes we do have a bit of back and forth debating about it.

Tonight we were talking about vaccines and he did his usual going on a rant because I've booked the booster and how the media is controlling me yada yada... Anyway, I was explaining why, whilst I'm not overly concerned about Covid personally, I do think vaccines, like any vaccine, are good for X and Y reason.

Anyway long and short of it he ranted a bit more about it and then finished it with "YOU DAFT FUCKING COW".

Not jokingly, very seriously and obviously annoyed at me like I'd done some sort of awful thing Confused

I am so mad. I know it's not the worst insult in the world but the way he said it and the way it was so completely unnecessary has really pissed me off.

He is infuriating to talk to about anything like this, he thinks he knows best and I'm annoyed at myself for getting suckered into the conversation tonight but I wasn't saying anything personal to him and certainly wasn't arguing/shouting/raising voices, I am so pissed that he said that and made it into a personal argument.

OP posts:
GayParis · 14/12/2021 21:40

I don't think I could cope being married to someone so stupid. Not just stupid, but rude about it too.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/12/2021 21:43

@ripples101

I would assume that one of his arguments is that no one has the right to stick anything into his body.

If that’s the case, then tell him he doesn’t have any right to have a go at you for anything that you have decided to have stuck in your body.

And that he's never going to be sticking anything of his in your body ever again.
godmum56 · 14/12/2021 21:46

why do you stay?

user478932071 · 14/12/2021 21:51

Did you kick him out yet

DrSbaitso · 14/12/2021 22:00

It's one thing to be a thick, closed minded fuckwit. It's quite another to be a thick, closed minded fuckwit who shouts horrible names at their partner when they dare to disagree.

Justilou1 · 14/12/2021 22:01

I would say “Just like with sex - My body = My rules.” And get him to sort himself out.

Gobolino80 · 14/12/2021 22:07

@GrabAHike I could have written this post this evening. I'm sick and tired
Of every conversation about Covid descending in to DP ranting about the government and Covid advice, he's very near to conspiracy theory territory and a lot of the stuff he spouts is just rubbish. All I did this evening was point out that if he has cold like symptoms it's probably best to do a PCR to be sure it's not Covid. I don't want to debate the government or what is/isn't good advice because it just ends up with him lecturing me and talking to me like I'm stupid. He's not a Covid denier and does comply with mask wearing but he's only had 1 jab back in Feb because he doesn't 'trust' the government scientists or AZ/Pfizer. He hates the Tories so much (as do I) that it's clouding everything to do with Covid and I'm sick of it. Don't have any helpful advice but just wanted to say I know how you feel.

Throckmorton · 14/12/2021 22:11

He sounds dreadful. I can't imagine voluntarily spending time with a person like this

lazylinguist · 14/12/2021 22:20

Wow, I couldn't even be friends with someone as thick and unpleasant as that, never mind be married to them.

AdaFuckingShelby · 14/12/2021 22:24

Sounds like a complete arsehole. You deserve respect from your partner.

Shadow1678 · 14/12/2021 22:25

This sounds EXACTLY like my DH! It’s a no go discussion in our house now. He doesn’t know I’ve been vaccinated or that I’ve booked my booster, he doesn’t even know that our daughter has been vaccinated. He thinks the government are trying to control everyone and that covid is just a cold and basically loads of other weird shit that’s just bonkers!

Just tell him it’s not I for discussion anymore, that you’ll have to agree to disagree and if he brings it up again (which he will) just leave the room or put some headphones on and turn up the volume 😁

DismantledKing · 14/12/2021 22:26

Not only is he a fuckwit, but he’s a nasty fuckwit.
I couldn’t stay married to someone like this.

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 14/12/2021 22:29

Insults are insults and I would NOT accept that. My partner would have hell to pay for speaking to me like that.

Disagree? Fair enough. Call me names? Hell no.

Unless you also slung insults he needs to apologise to you big time

Fatgalslim · 14/12/2021 22:29

@Seafog

Does he have redeeming qualities? Cause so far he sounds like a super dick.
I have visions now of a 6ft dick wearing a cape
headspin10 · 14/12/2021 22:29

Definitely not ok in my book- possibly a reason to finish the relationship or at least let him know you're thinking of it.

You can tell him someone in my wider family died of COVID early in the pandemic, he was 32 and a professional rugby player. No underlying health issues as far as we know. It's not just a cold.

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 14/12/2021 22:30

@Shadow1678

This sounds EXACTLY like my DH! It’s a no go discussion in our house now. He doesn’t know I’ve been vaccinated or that I’ve booked my booster, he doesn’t even know that our daughter has been vaccinated. He thinks the government are trying to control everyone and that covid is just a cold and basically loads of other weird shit that’s just bonkers!

Just tell him it’s not I for discussion anymore, that you’ll have to agree to disagree and if he brings it up again (which he will) just leave the room or put some headphones on and turn up the volume 😁

If anything it sounds like your husband is the controlling one. Fair enough he doesn't want the vaccine but to make it so you a s your daughter have to lie is awful.

It sounds like you're afraid of him. If you are, I would seriously consider ways you may leave the relationship safely. No one should feel afraid to be honest to their partner, about anything x

Seabreeze18 · 14/12/2021 22:31

@ Gobolino80 my husband is exactly the same! Only had 1 vaccine and refuses any more. Was angry with me for getting the kids pcr checks today due to colds! We have very different views on this! Xx

headspin10 · 14/12/2021 22:31

Also isn't there some saying about 'those who are losing an argument are the ones who resort to personal insult...'

Stompythedinosaur · 14/12/2021 22:33

Decent men are not verbally abusive to their partners no matter what the disagreement.

grapewine · 14/12/2021 22:35

@Thelnebriati

Maybe the real reason he is angry is because he can't control the way you think.
Seems plausible.

Tell him that will be last time he hurls abuse at you like this. It's not OK at all.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 14/12/2021 22:37

I've worked in hospital throughout covid as a medical professional and this kind of stupidity makes me foam at the mouth.
We don't tend to put people with "just cold" symptoms on ventilators and watch them die.
Does he think we're making it all up.
At any rate if you choose to go for a booster it is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

LittleRoundRobin · 14/12/2021 22:50

@DismantledKing

Not only is he a fuckwit, but he’s a nasty fuckwit. I couldn’t stay married to someone like this.
Agree. ^
LittleRoundRobin · 14/12/2021 22:51

@DismantledKing

Not only is he a fuckwit, but he’s a nasty fuckwit. I couldn’t stay married to someone like this.
Agree. ^
LittleRoundRobin · 14/12/2021 22:51

No idea why that posted twice! Shock

LittleRoundRobin · 14/12/2021 22:51

@DrSbaitso

It's one thing to be a thick, closed minded fuckwit. It's quite another to be a thick, closed minded fuckwit who shouts horrible names at their partner when they dare to disagree.
Saved me typing this. @GrabAHike your DH sounds like a total twat.

Thankfully my DH was/is as keen to get the covid vaccinations as me, and we booked the booster as soon as we were able to and had it done last week. (THANK FOOK we did too, as it seems to be an absolute ball-ache to get one atm, as they are running out of them, and the queues are 4-5 hours long in some of the walk-in places!) THANKS BORIS YOU DAFT TWONK!

I would struggle to be with someone who had this little respect for me, and who is so mind-numbingly thick as your husband sounds GrabAHike. If I had no children with him, I would be making an exit plan out of this marriage - and fast!