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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the nursery to keep him?

85 replies

Tiredandfireddd · 13/12/2021 09:02

So I’m a single mum, my little boy is 18 months. I have gone back to work and have found my little boy is sick every week. I expect this as he goes to nursery. I pay a lot of money for nursery with no help from his dad. Nursery often call me at work to day pick him up and I do obviously.

Today, I dropped him off at 8, now is the busiest time at work. He was fine this morning, if a bit quiet, he ate his breakfast, normal nappies and no temperature. Nursery have called me to say he’s a bit teary can I collect him? I don’t if it’s normal to collect him because he’s not ill? I manage a project at work, without me at work nothing will be done. I’m on my way to collect him again I’m just annoyed I’m paying for another day at nursery with no work

OP posts:
MalbecandToast · 13/12/2021 09:03

If he's not unwell say no. They are being ridiculous.

Thefuturestory · 13/12/2021 09:04

A bit teary without being ill. No I wouldn’t collect if I’m working.

Sirzy · 13/12/2021 09:04

It’s only been an hour. I would be telling them to phone back if he hasn’t settled by dinner time and then reconsider.

LittleBabyCheeses · 13/12/2021 09:05

If he’s a bit teary but not unwell that it’s their job to look after him/play with him/try and cheer him up.

Whinge · 13/12/2021 09:06

If he's just a bit teary then I wouldn't collect him.

You only dropped him off at 8 and are already on the way to pick him up, that's ridiculous.

Comedycook · 13/12/2021 09:06

That sounds ridiculous. I wouldn't pick him up.

Original poster
Tiredandfireddd · 13/12/2021 09:08

I do think it’s ridiculous but I suppose I feel a bit unconfident. Obviously I know my baby best and he was fine when I dropped him.

OP posts:
MalbecandToast · 13/12/2021 09:08

Honestly don't worry about it, they are being ridiculous.

Starcaller · 13/12/2021 09:09

I've never been asked to pick up DD. If they're frequently calling, I'd wonder why they're seemingly unable to look after him. 'A bit teary' is hardly a reason to send a child home! It's just part of nursery life, surely. Illness is fair enough, but being a bit emotional less than an hour after drop-off is a bit ridiculous.

Starcaller · 13/12/2021 09:09

The cynic in me wonders if they have staffing problems and need to reduce their numbers for ratio reasons.

Thehop · 13/12/2021 09:10

Ask them to distract him with play and update you at lunch time.

MalbecandToast · 13/12/2021 09:11

@Starcaller that's exactly what it will be

RoastedParnsip · 13/12/2021 09:13

No I'd get there check he's well in himself and go back to work. Being teary isn't poorly.

Beamur · 13/12/2021 09:14

Can you have a chat with the manager of the nursery about their policy for sending children home? They're probably being more cautious than usual because of Covid, but all children have a bit of a cry most days when they're little.
It's a few years ago now, but my DD never got sent home from nursery because she was crying. I picked her up once and she was quite upset and the staff were most apologetic but knew I was picking her up at lunchtime (and had quite a commute) so hadn't rung me but hadn't been able to placate her. No temperature, otherwise perfectly well.

EverdeRose · 13/12/2021 09:14

I'd be rethinking your choice of nursery.

Are they short staffed OP? Because that's the only reason I can think of for doing this repeatedly.

I've never once been phoned to collect my children despite making it clear I'd be happy go come get them if they were not well enough of settled.

It sounds like they're short staffed and are doing this so they can get their numbers right.

IgneousRock · 13/12/2021 09:14

This is a bit rubbish of them IMO.

Whinge · 13/12/2021 09:15

@Tiredandfireddd

I do think it’s ridiculous but I suppose I feel a bit unconfident. Obviously I know my baby best and he was fine when I dropped him.
Call back and say you're not able to collect, and to let you know how he is at lunchtime.

Another poster is probably correct when they say they're trying to reduce the numbers due to staffing problems. They know you'll collect so that's why they've called you.

RedwineforSantaplease · 13/12/2021 09:15

I'm on mat leave and I'd refuse to pick up my eldest from nursery unless they were ill. If they can't cope with a teary toddler they're not very good at their jobs

Thefuturestory · 13/12/2021 09:15

Ask them exactly why they have asked you to pick him up.

He’s not unwell. It is their job to settle and distract. Howling screaming tears I’d want to know. A bit teary. No!

Explain you won’t be paying as he’s not unwell and they aren’t fulfilling their side of the contract to provide childcare.

Thefuturestory · 13/12/2021 09:16

I did think it might be ratios and numbers too.

girlmom21 · 13/12/2021 09:17

When you get there give him a cuddle and send him back in, then start looking for another nursery as they clearly can't cater for his needs.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 13/12/2021 09:17

I’d be looking into a new nursery too OP. “A bit teary”? I hope they had the decency to have red face when they made that call.

Whatwouldscullydo · 13/12/2021 09:18

Toddlers cry cis the sky is the wrong colour.. u can't pick them.up every time they cry fgs.

If he's not ill leave him.there. if they can't deal with a toddler being a toddler they r in the wrong job

LakeShoreD · 13/12/2021 09:20

He’s not unwell, he’s not extremely distressed and settling him is their job! I wouldn’t pick him up, I’d be asking why they thought it appropriate to call at all and I would definitely complain. My guess is they’re in a ratio bind due to staff absence so they’re trying it on.

Hockeyboysmum · 13/12/2021 09:23

Definitely sounds odd. My 20 month old does 2 mornings at nursery. Im not working but hes disabled so has the hours to help him and to give ne respite. He settled fine for 2 weeks then was awful. They only ever phoned me to collect if if he was totally distraught and screaming non stop. They tried everything possible to settle him before calling. Hes much better now thankfully. Id Definitely be asking for an explanation