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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I just want to stay at home sometimes

53 replies

Tistheseasontobeknobby · 12/12/2021 14:26

Dd, 3.5 said this yesterday.
We go out a fair amount, but not constantly, she spoke today about she just wanted to stay at home sometimes.
It’s made me question whether all these nice things we do-going to see Santa, the lights, playgrounds, cafes etc are really worth doing, are kids just happier staying in?

OP posts:

ThePoisonousMushroom · 12/12/2021 14:28

Depends on the kid, surely? I have one who is a homebody, and one who would do any activity out of the house available to her.

TooWicked · 12/12/2021 14:28

Well your own DD has told you in her own words that sometimes she’d be happier just staying at home.

So I’m not quite sure what you’re asking.

Original poster

Tistheseasontobeknobby · 12/12/2021 14:30

And how often do you stay in? if you have young kids?
This weekend has been a very quiet one, just a dog walk yesterday and probably the same later, she just wants to stay in. The plans were very different.

OP posts:

Pegasussnail · 12/12/2021 14:30

Agree it depends on the child. One of mine (aged 7) asked could he go back into his pyjamas (we were swimming this morning)

He loves being at home and colouring in etc. Our other child likes being at home but prefers to be out.

FreeBritnee · 12/12/2021 14:31

Are the plans out stressful? Does it end up with bickering and rushing about? I used to hate that as a kid.

Pegasussnail · 12/12/2021 14:31

OK well that isn't out a lot if it's just one walk
Is she cold

Kbyodjs · 12/12/2021 14:33

Lockdown taught me that we didn’t always need to be going out especially when DC attend childcare or school in the week.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 12/12/2021 14:33

@Tistheseasontobeknobby

And how often do you stay in? if you have young kids? This weekend has been a very quiet one, just a dog walk yesterday and probably the same later, she just wants to stay in. The plans were very different.

I have 3 young kids, 8, 6 and 2. On a Saturday morning the older 2 are at their hobby, 2 year old stays at home. In the afternoon we usually go out somewhere… country park etc. Sundays usually half a day out, half in. Except today when we went out this morning, came home for a couple of hours and are going out for dinner later. That’s what works for us. It doesn’t matter what other people do, what matters is what works for your family. Your child has said she would rather spend a bit more time at home, so try that?

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 14:34

I'm not sure I'd question anything else as wanting to stay home now and again, is a perfectly normal thing to want to do.

Surely you must have days like that yourself OP?

allofthecheese · 12/12/2021 14:34

I was like this as a kid. I'd get tired so easily and just sometimes wanted to stay at home too. I'm still like this as an adult. I found things quite draining as I'm low energy type of person! Still do fun days out but need to recharge. I think it's okay.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 12/12/2021 14:34

Does she just not like walking the dog?

I’d have preferred to stay in than walk the dog for most of my early years, I feel the cold and didn’t really start to “enjoy” walking until my early 20s.

Original poster

Tistheseasontobeknobby · 12/12/2021 14:35

@Pegasussnail This was a very different weekend, we’ve barely done anything 🤣she liked the dog walk, but the plan was to go to a Christmas village, meet friends and have an early dinner. She was tired but not cold

OP posts:

Coronachristmas21 · 12/12/2021 14:35

I have one of each. One who likes being at home and the other who wants to be out all the time as they climb the walls at home. Makes it hard for me as a parent to find the balance!

I'm very much in the middle myself. I like to go out but not for hours on end and very much like the comfort of my own home and know when it's time to go home.

Workyticket · 12/12/2021 14:35

My 9 year old loves staying home! He's still in his pyjamas now 😳

We had a busy day yesterday with his footy match, Christmas farm type day and evening out plus a santa visit.

If asked he chooses home over most other things. He loved lockdown

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 14:35

But having said that, I often silently wonder if some kids are so busy every minute of the day, will they have trouble learning to entertain themselves.

TulipsGarden · 12/12/2021 14:36

Yes, my 3 year old sometimes wants to stay at home on his non-nursery days. I usually plan to do something out of the house (for my sanity as much as anything) but there are days where he wails and says 'I just want to play' so we stay at home with his toys. He usually wants to go to the playground by the afternoon though.

By contrast, this morning he asked where we were going after he'd eaten breakfast.

Original poster

Tistheseasontobeknobby · 12/12/2021 14:37

@WorraLiberty For sure, I mean, I love staying in and doing nothing a lot of the time, she says it quite a lot though. I just wonder if we put too much on our kids in the wanting them to have a good time, when really they’d be happier running around the house and garden in their pjs

OP posts:

FireworkParrot · 12/12/2021 14:38

I think I can be guilty of over-booking things to do with my DDs (4 and 2) at the weekends. It's hard when you work because you want to make the most of doing things together at the weekend and going/seeing places. But then on the other hand they would go stir crazy if we stayed at home all day. I don't really know what the answer is, rather than a mix. For example yesterday was a really busy day and we've been out for an hour and a half today so this afternoon we just all want to stay at home and chill out.

WorraLiberty · 12/12/2021 14:39

[quote Tistheseasontobeknobby]@WorraLiberty For sure, I mean, I love staying in and doing nothing a lot of the time, she says it quite a lot though. I just wonder if we put too much on our kids in the wanting them to have a good time, when really they’d be happier running around the house and garden in their pjs[/quote]
It's possible that you are then, as you know your own kids.

Moonface123 · 12/12/2021 14:40

I think we can sometimes feel pressured to be always out and about, doing things when actually especially this time of year it is nice to have some quiet time at home. Young children are often quite capable of finding things they like to do at home.

Avarua · 12/12/2021 14:40

My DD says she wants to be at home. But she lasts a couple of hours on a Saturday morning then she's begging for playdates.

scandikate · 12/12/2021 14:43

Mine are homebodies. I actually feel guilty as seem to be always hurrying them to get ready and out the house. I try to factor in at least a couple of days just at home during the holidays.

Original poster

Tistheseasontobeknobby · 12/12/2021 14:46

@scandikate Yes, that’s how I feel too sometimes

OP posts:

Original poster

Tistheseasontobeknobby · 12/12/2021 14:47

@Avarua How old is she?

OP posts:

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 12/12/2021 14:48

It can be easy to overwhelm them, especially at Christmas with fairs, pantomime, lights, parties etc. I'd take what she said as she needed a break from it.

Planning to have nothing on for a day every few weeks will probably be good in the long run.

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