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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder what she is playing at (bear with me quite long)

22 replies

hedgehog1979 · 18/12/2007 16:11

Ok I have been stewing over this for a few weeks now and would like someone who is not DH to tell me IABU or IANBU

DH and I have been TTC for 3 years and found out in Oct I was 5 weeks pg and were over the moon.

2 days l8r DH gets a call from my bro and I then have to call him back... His 21yo GF is pg and due 2 days b4 me.

All her appointments are about 2/3 days b4 mine and she always rings me and comes out with some outrageous things - ie reason I am being sick is coz womb is pressing on stomach, No reason for boobs to be sore as that doesn't happen til at least 25 weeks!!

2 weeks ago she had her scan and we heard nothing so I rang my brother and she is only 5 weeks pg meaning when she told us she wasn't pg at all.

I want to know what has been going on and why she lied to us. AIBU to ask her/my bro what is going on?

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 18/12/2007 16:13

just ignore her, imo. let her believe these things, as you know better.

congrats on your pg!

maybe she thought she was pg? i have been put back 10-12 days on dating scans before now, meaning when i got bfp it was technically only just conceived? was it a big difference?

camillathechicken · 18/12/2007 16:14

congratulations!

they are obviously terribly over excited about the whole thing

how many weeks should she be? could she have had a missed miscarriage or a chemical pregnancy?

certainly ask, but don;t be mean about it, in case something bad has happened

ernest · 18/12/2007 16:28

You just don't know about db's baby, like others have said, she could've had a miscarriage or anything. I'm afraid stupid comments from other people will dog you the whole way through pg and babyhood. YOu have to develop a thick skin.

You have waited 3 years for this. wow. You must be so thrilled and excited. Try not to let this spoil it for you.

I wouldn't sa yabu but you are stressing about something you can't really do anything about, so it's mentally not good for you.

So I'd say, concentrate on your own wonderful news and try to grow that skin quickly

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 18/12/2007 16:29

Ignore it and let it go. Concentrate on enjoying your pregnancy

Flibbertinseljinglebells · 18/12/2007 16:31

Oh I had all this rubbish from SIL. She was actually pregnant but came out will all sorts of strange (attention seeking) stuff to her mother who passes it to dp who tells me and I laughed. At the time I heard she was 9wks, I had just finished my 'lmp'. But all along she kept moving the dates about. She still insists that baby was 3 weeks 'premature' (6lb straight into normal ward). If that baby was prem then she lied about how far along she was at the beginning.
Before she had this baby, 3 times her parents came back off hols and she said she'd been in hospital having a miscarriage at 5 or 6 weeks while they were away. None of them know that we had a miscarriage at 9 weeks so we knew that the things she was telling us about hers were absolute rubbish. One of the times she said she was 4 weeks pregant and had had a scan which showed the baby at the edge of the womb where it joins the fallopian tube and that they were going to scan her again in 2 weeks and if it was still there they would 'move it and put a stitch in to keep it where it should be' (honestly I am not making this up!!). And mil beleiving every word!

Just ignore her she is having a hissy fit that you stole her thunder, just as sil was when I announced my pg just after hers, she invented every complication going to get attention without knowing anything about any of the conditions she was claiming.

Flibbertinseljinglebells · 18/12/2007 16:34

hmm just re-read my post and it might sound a bit uncharitable to my sil, but trust me she lies to her mother constantly to get attention about everything and has been exactly the same throughout her 2nd pregancy which I am grateful should be over any day now!
I forgot to say also in my post CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

cheeset · 18/12/2007 16:37

Weird.

Flibbertinseljinglebells · 18/12/2007 16:43

Who, me wierd?

crokky · 18/12/2007 16:43

Flibbertinseljinglebells - I am sure you're right about your SIL, but I promise you I had a prem baby (3wks early) of 6lbs who went straight onto the ward. There was never any doubt over the dates - they had to induce me due to complications and knew he would be prem because of it.

Flibbertinseljinglebells · 18/12/2007 16:48

From dates of all appts going along the baby won't have been prem unless she wasn't 9 weeks when she said, ie only just found out. But she goes on and on about 'oh well she was prem you know' for the slightest thing, as if the baby was really early and in the baby care unit.
I think I am just getting my knickers in a twist as 2007 seems to have been completely taken up with her ttc (and if you met her bf that thought would put you off your dinner and this interminable pregnancy with every possible symptom and condition but strangely no referrals to hospital or consultant to check out all her complaints.

cheeset · 18/12/2007 16:59

hedgehog's bro GF is weird/ whole thing weird

shoshaliteupthetree · 18/12/2007 17:08

Flibbertinseljinglebells IO had a 6 week prem baby at 6lb 4oz, but he was in special care for a long time
(I do thank my lucky stars at times that he was prem in a way, he was born in 24 mins without a stich, God knows what size he would have been full term)

He is now a healthy 29 year old rugby player

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 18/12/2007 17:08

Flibbertinsel, maybe she ahd her dates messed around with at the hospital? Like Scorpio said, they do swap and change them.
FWIW, DD was born at 32+3 and weighed 5lb 1.5 oz. The only reason she had to go to SCBU was because her lungs were not formed properly yet, had he been a few eeks later she probably would've been straight on the ward.
(The rest of the lies, ok, fair enough, but some of it may have been true!)

hedgehog, I'd say the same here, the scan probably dated her further back, it's unlikely she would've been given a scan at 5 weeks unless there was a reason to think something was wrong or for her dates to have been mixed up.

LoveAngelGabriel · 18/12/2007 17:30

Who knows what her story is? If I were you I would cast it from your mind and concentrate on your own good news. You have so many more important and exciting things to think about!

cheeset · 18/12/2007 17:45

Gosh how rude of me, meant to add Congratulations!

Flibbertinseljinglebells · 18/12/2007 17:55

oh for heavens sake. she gives out her due date as 10 Oct after her 20 week scan. Baby was born on 9 oct but sil tells everyone the baby is 3 weeks early! How can that be the hospital messing around with dates?
Apologies to OP, I seem to have taken over this thread with justifying why I think sil lied over her baby being early.
Sorry! If your SIL is anything like mine you are in for a good few months of attention seeking antics from her!

HonoriaGlossop · 18/12/2007 18:49

I can't get my head round this. So in October she should have been 5 weeks pg; but now you find she is only 5 or 6 or 7 weeks pg?

Is that right?

So by now she would be around 13 weeks pg if the October story was right.

So it is clear something has gone on; either she was making it up in October or she may have lost a pregnancy?

I think YABU to say something. They would be making things clear to you if they wanted to.

As others have said I think it's best just to concentrate on YOU, after all after three years of trying you want to savour every bit of this. Congratulations and good luck btw!

Original poster
hedgehog1979 · 18/12/2007 18:53

Thanks Flibbert, good to know that there are other attention seekers out there too.

And I hadn't thought about all the other reasons too - I suppose I was just upset that after three years of trying and constant nagging from IL's (not only MIL and FIL, but aunts, cousins etc of DH) that I manage to get pregnant and make my mum so happy that now I might not have the first GC

Thanks all, have a great christmas I think I will now and I will just remember that I have the biology background from my degree and she left school with only GCSE's

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 18/12/2007 19:02

Congratulations! Don't worry about what anyone says and ENJOY. When she talks to you, nod and smile while picturing yourself singing your favourite nursery rhyme to your little baby

Elasticwoman · 18/12/2007 19:37

Congratulations on your pg. Sil sounds a bore; I'd be unavailable when she phones in future. Get dh to tell her you're too busy vomiting or sleeping to talk to her.

margoandjerry · 18/12/2007 19:55

Flibbert - my baby was 4.5 weeks prem and weighed 7 lb 12 !!!!! She was hale and hearty. (My dates are indisputable because she was conceived by insemination)

Don't doubt your SIL is a loon but not for that reason.

Hedgehog I agree with other posters. She sounds annoying and silly and maybe mixed up? Or maybe sad? Anyway, this is your time for you and your DH so ignore them. There will be so many more loons out there in the coming months...you just have to get into training for dealing with them! And congratulations on your fab news.

Flibbertinseljinglebells · 19/12/2007 20:52

Margo, read all my posts! The silly girl told us her due date after her 20 week scan. The baby arrived the day before her due date. She comes home with baby and tells everyone the child was 3 weeks early!
Everytime the phone rings today I think it will be the news of her 2nd baby and and end to the 2nd interminable attention seeking pregnancy of hers we've had to endure

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