To not want us to be my brother-in-law's guarantor

[Dextersmumhasgotitgoingon]

My husband's brother has severe anxiety and depression and can't work. I've never met him (DH and I have been together nearly 10 years) but I do feel some responsibility to help him: after all, he is family and I hope that one day, when he is ready, I will get to meet him. We occasionally buy him food if he doesn't have any or pay his electric/gas bills so he has warmth. He was recently asked to leave the place he was renting and doesn't have any money to rent a new place (he is on disability and, from what I understand, has been using this until now to pay rent but now doesn't have any money for a renters deposit).

He has asked DH if we will please be his guarantor on a new place. He has a history of non-payment of rent and doesn't manage his money very well (not that that is my business usually but in this case, I think it's relevant).

I've said to DH I am not comfortable doing it. I want to help. We can send food and pay for bills but we can't be ultimately responsible for his rent ongoing. We have a baby due in 3 weeks as well, so our responsibilities, financially, are going to increase without having to potentially pay living costa for a fully grown man.

Husband isn't sure what to do, and I get why he's upset by the situation. Am I being unreasonable by putting my foot down on what we will pay for my brother in law?

You BIL shouldn't be paying for his rent out of his disability benefits .

Either he or your DH should go on to this website www.entitledto.co.uk to work out how much he's entitled to.

No please don't do it. My friend did it and it ended badly for them. They ended up being taken to court for arrears of payment. A year's of non payment of rent and bailiffs letters were hidden by the rentor, out of fear and anxiety. My neighbour ended up all of this plus the court fees, it was around £25,000 . She warned me not to do it for a friend, said she'd never, ever do it again.

Citizens advice has lots of information about the legalities www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/housing/renting-a-home-s/starting-a-tenancy/using-a-guarantor-s/ and www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/housing/finding-a-place-to-live1/if-youre-homeless-or-at-risk-of-homelessness/

A pal of mine has a flat he's letting out. He has had no rent for a year. The fella in the flat has a guarantor who is now responsible for over a year's rent, plus the deposit as I imagine he won't leave the flat in a decent state. That amount is around £7000 so far.

Are you able to accommodate that amount? If not, you can't do it.

It's a NO from me too. His mental health problems may get worse so that he no longer thinks he even needs to pay his rent from his own money - he may actually begin to think you have agreed to pay it and can pay it. Your DH must realise he has to be firm or overly firm in saying 'no' so BIL has no illusions about the matter.

The trouble is that your DH is relying on information from his BIL who may not be equipped to research all the possibilities,
I would be saying to DH that until he has double double checked that this is the only option for BIL and that he has all the correction information and full details of any total potential liability that would be laid at your door then you have to say no no no.
There may be other options open to BIL than making yourselves liable for all the debts of someone who has form for running up debts.
A previous pp mentioned places that will help people manage their debts and finances and any help by you should be conditional on BIL agreeing to get some help from an organisation like this.
YOu already help with bills and food so its not as if you are refusing all help but You have your own family to think of.
Find out and research What would your BIL do if you and DH were not around to help out in this way.

No no no absolutely not. Best way to help is look at his finances with him and try and work out payment plans for his outgoings. You could end up in very serious debt if you agree to this!!!

Has your husband actually seen him in 10years? How do you know he’s not just pulling a fast one and is actually okay.

scotland.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/paying_for_a_home/housing_benefit/discretionary_housing_payments

I wouldn't give him another penny.

Hi, you don’t know me but I’ve been around for about 10 years - we’ve not met. Can’t you guarantee my rent for me please? I’ve got a poor history of paying my rent and am pretty pants with money.

If you say no to my request it is no different to what, in essence, is a stranger in the form of your BIL.

But more seriously, his local authority maybe able to help with deposits.

I think agreeing to be his guarantor is a reciepe for disaster & has massive potential to backfire on you!

If he has no money for a deposit on a private rental then he needs to make an approach to his local council to get registered to bid for social housing, if already registered then he needs to ask them to look at upgrading his banding taking into account that he has been asked to leave his current place. He should also ask if there are any deposit guarantee schemes available if he wants private rented instead.

It might also be worth approaching citizens advice to make sure he is getting all the benefits he is entitled to & check with his energy provider if he is entitled to the winter fuel payment of approximately 140.00 (can check online), not sure how this works in Scotland though.

Another one saying absolutely not.

A colleague of mine some years ago acted as a guarantor for her daughters ex partner, so that he could move out of their shared home.

When he defaulted she ended up with CCJ.

I know someone that did this for someone and ended up paying 5k in the end as the person never paid the rent, there was court fees and also a fee for the house being messed up.

Not a cats chance in hell would i agree to guarantor

In your DH's shoes, I wouldn't be guarantoe, but might agree to be attorney, to manage his finances and ensure his benefits are used to pay rent. It used to be possible for hosting benefit to be paid direct to landlord. You could look into that

Absolutely not
My sister in law asked us to be guarantor and I put my foot down
Just after this her bf cheated on her and she ended up back at her mothers anyway
We would have been paying for her flat which she wasn't even living in

There's different rules for eviction in Scotland, extended for covid, so you could have many months of rent accrue in the event of a default.