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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Generational inequality- seedy effects

62 replies

EmilyisLivingItUp · 11/12/2021 11:53

We all know this generation are financially way worse off than us with tuition fees, house prices etc. I was speaking to some of the women in my office and they revealed that three of their daughters have only fan accounts, one of their poses nude to be drawn at hen dos .
Is this the disgusting side of generational inequality? I can’t help feel a bit sick at men and women in their 40s/50s leering at half naked 20 year olds because of their financial state. AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
EmilyisLivingItUp · 11/12/2021 11:54

Sons poses at hen dos*

OP posts:
ArblemarchTFruitbat · 11/12/2021 11:57

Yes, I agree - it's awful that young people are drawn into sex work or transactional relationships through 'Sugar Daddy' websites and similar because they are desperate for money. Sad

Contactmap · 11/12/2021 11:58

And yet the young men of that generation seem to get by with normal jobs like the rest of us.

senua · 11/12/2021 11:59

I can’t help feel a bit sick at men and women in their 40s/50s leering at half naked 20 year olds because of their financial state.
I can't help but feel sick at 20somethings exposing themselves.
The males don't do it (to the same extent); why do females do it?

DeniseCrease · 11/12/2021 12:00

Not at all, I was at a hen party pre covid and cringed at having a 20 year old ‘buff butler’ serve women old enough to be his mother to try and pay his way through uni. We need to do away with these ‘services’

Original poster
EmilyisLivingItUp · 11/12/2021 12:01

@senua

I can’t help feel a bit sick at men and women in their 40s/50s leering at half naked 20 year olds because of their financial state. I can't help but feel sick at 20somethings exposing themselves. The males don't do it (to the same extent); why do females do it?
I agree but males are doing it via butler in the buff, life drawing at hen dos. It’s just the ratio of female to males is much higher.
OP posts:
Mamette · 11/12/2021 12:04

20yo DD is in university and she works 4 nights a week in a restaurant. I agree that that age group needs an income but I don’t agree that it has to be “seedy”, normal jobs are available.

Also my parents (divorced) are both independently wealthy and very much boomers and when I was at university they gave me naff all, it just wasn’t an option or something that ever came up. I worked in a hotel making beds and scrubbing loos throughout my uni years.

uneffingbelievable · 11/12/2021 12:05

Sorry it has been going on for years - I went to uni in the 90s and can name at least 4 girls and 3 guys who did "escort" work on the side.

Sparklfairy · 11/12/2021 12:06

Is it because they're "desperate" for money as PP suggests, or is it because they think its "easy" money? I have a younger sister of "that" generation and am at the older end of it myself, and there seems to be a belief that you can easily become an influencer or tiktok sensation or sell pics of your feet and get rich quick. Grafting in low end jobs is sneered at rather than hard work being respected.

Not being goady, its a disgusting industry, but I saw many articles in lockdown saying "I lost my job in lockdown and now make ££££ a week on onlyfans". Its not pitched as something only desperate young people do.

kowari · 11/12/2021 12:08

I think it's disgusting if they feel they have to do it simply to be able to get a mortgage for a first two bedroom home like their parents' generation. Though some are doing it completely by choice just for spending money to afford extravagant lifestyle choices.

SarahSonnet · 11/12/2021 12:14

I think this is a debate around that type of work instead of trying to frame it as taking advantage.

It’s always been the same hence why strippers/entertainers are in their 20s and not their 40s.
I’ve been to some hen parties and felt somewhat guilty watching a man half my age strip for money but it isn’t to do with inequality

Choirgirl2021 · 11/12/2021 12:15

Correct me if I’m wrong but when Osborne was chancellor didn’t he include this work as part of the gdp? There have been pushes to bring this employment into taxable income with ssp, etc across Europe.

Original poster
EmilyisLivingItUp · 11/12/2021 12:16

@Sparklfairy

Is it because they're "desperate" for money as PP suggests, or is it because they think its "easy" money? I have a younger sister of "that" generation and am at the older end of it myself, and there seems to be a belief that you can easily become an influencer or tiktok sensation or sell pics of your feet and get rich quick. Grafting in low end jobs is sneered at rather than hard work being respected.

Not being goady, its a disgusting industry, but I saw many articles in lockdown saying "I lost my job in lockdown and now make ££££ a week on onlyfans". Its not pitched as something only desperate young people do.

That’s interesting, my colleague did imply their daughter made a lot of money from it but given the increase in house prices and tuition fees does the level of money simply level the playing field?
OP posts:
MintJulia · 11/12/2021 12:19

Not unreasonable but perhaps naive . I'm in my late 50s. As a student I posed for an art class to make some money. Plus worked in a pub most evenings, and in a toy factory in the summer.

At that point there were no student loans so if a student's parents didn't help, it was very difficult to survive.
I wouldn't have done it at hen nights though. There are plenty of other jobs available..

Sparklfairy · 11/12/2021 12:22

I'm not sure, which is why I tried to carefully word my post! I do think that my sister's peers in particular see a level of lifestyle as attainable for everyone through these means. The realists among us know that the insta lifestyle is heavily filtered of course, but attitudes are starting to lean dangerously towards "shrug, I don't need to study in school, I'll just make a living on social media and I'll have xyz stuff" the kind of aspirations that my parents would have associated with winning the lottery iyswim.

Its unrealistic, and a bit of a vicious cycle. People may end up falling into that sort of work thinking they'll make a quick buck, but then be unable to get out when reality bites.

senua · 11/12/2021 12:31

People may end up falling into that sort of work thinking they'll make a quick buck, but then be unable to get out when reality bites.
This is so true. Do they not realise that something on the internet is there FOREVER. It is also not "for your eyes only"; it can potentially be seen by any future partner, employer, FIL, blackmailer, etc, etc.

It's not generational inequality. It's youthful stupidity.

Elleherd · 11/12/2021 12:36

Sparklfairy is spot on! It isn't generational inequality, it''s a belief that work is for fools, and smart people shouldn't have to. I'm surrounded by this in uni, and whenever I query the wisdom of it I get the same responses.

SarahSonnet · 11/12/2021 12:38

Upon reflection of all the ethical debate around employment and inequality this is not a profound one.

Yes there is a seedy aspect to it and I would hate my son to work in that business but is there really a fundamental issue with it?
I thoroughly enjoyed having a stripper at my hen do and I obviously wanted a fit, muscular man which happens to be a man in his twenties as opposed to someone twice his age.
And

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 11/12/2021 12:40

You say this as if it is a fait accompli OP.

Utter tosh. It's not if your a student you need to get your tits out, or you're poor.

They aren't the only options available.

I would be heartbroken if 3 of my daughters thought that prostituting their bodies was a viable option to get by in life and I would honestly be questioning my parenting skills.

Kendodd · 11/12/2021 12:42

Yanbu OP. I hate what we've done to our young people and the world we've left for them. It's so wrong.
And the latest, upping NI on them so they can pay my care home bill for me.

SarahSonnet · 11/12/2021 12:45

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

You say this as if it is a fait accompli OP.

Utter tosh. It's not if your a student you need to get your tits out, or you're poor.

They aren't the only options available.

I would be heartbroken if 3 of my daughters thought that prostituting their bodies was a viable option to get by in life and I would honestly be questioning my parenting skills.

I think the point is how much harder it is for young people now. If the average house price in your area is 15 times the average salary and you come from a poor family these situations become a real possibility.
Elleherd · 11/12/2021 12:52

Prostitution and the sidelines and edges of it has always been a real possibility. What's newer is that it's seen as more socially acceptable and even empowering according to some.

MatildaIThink · 11/12/2021 12:54

@Sparklfairy

Is it because they're "desperate" for money as PP suggests, or is it because they think its "easy" money? I have a younger sister of "that" generation and am at the older end of it myself, and there seems to be a belief that you can easily become an influencer or tiktok sensation or sell pics of your feet and get rich quick. Grafting in low end jobs is sneered at rather than hard work being respected.

Not being goady, its a disgusting industry, but I saw many articles in lockdown saying "I lost my job in lockdown and now make ££££ a week on onlyfans". Its not pitched as something only desperate young people do.

I can see why some people do it, the younger sister of a friend does only fans, it is a foot fetish thing, she has never posted any videos or pictures which show anything higher than her knees. From what I have been told stuff from taking her socks off, to standing on various fruits, feet in a bowl of beans, in the bath, getting a pedicure etc.

I initially thought "why would anyone do that for a few quid", only it is not, it takes her around ten hours a day and makes her £2-8k a month depending on how much content she uploads and how creative she is being. She has a decent job, earns around £60k a year from her day job, but earns roughly the same from onlyfans. I can understand why she does it, even if it is not for me.

Ozanj · 11/12/2021 12:59

OnlyFans is the equivalent of Classifieds / flyers put in bathrooms or phone booths. A certain type of person will always be attracted to sex work. That doesn’t mean it’s more or less acceptable for this generation than previous ones!!

Mulhollandmagoo · 11/12/2021 13:06

@uneffingbelievable

Sorry it has been going on for years - I went to uni in the 90s and can name at least 4 girls and 3 guys who did "escort" work on the side.
Same, I finished uni 17 yrs ago and new quite a few people who would 'escort' mainly it was just dates for functions but a fair few did more for extra money. Its not new but I agree its really sad that young people are doing this just to get through uni or get on the property ladder