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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a clearer message should of been given

99 replies

TEH82 · 11/12/2021 08:27

So DS is 10 and in year 6 at junior school, I also have a DS in year 5 at the same school who has ASD.
Thursday night DS10 went to the local park with friends and another boy produced a knife which was a proper sized kitchen knife and said he was going to stab DS friend. DS and fried made excuses about needing the toilet and ran home and told me. A few minutes later another mum messaged me as had seen the knife but the boy ran off with it so I rang the police and the head teacher as I have her mobile due to son with ASD.
The police come round and we’re at school yesterday giving talks on knifes and dangers and them and head spoke to kids.
However son is really upset this kid was still in school yesterday but want allowed out at lunch and break.
My second son was a mess hearing this happened and wanted to look at ways to stop bleeding if you were stabbed- literal child due to additional needs.
Am I harsh in thinking this kid should of least not been in school yesterday or even the rest of the term due to the upset and fear caused which hasn’t given a great message about punishment to other kids.

OP posts:
Skyll · 11/12/2021 09:24

But no one was stabbed and there is no evidence?

mumof1or2 · 11/12/2021 09:25

@Skyll

But no one was stabbed and there is no evidence?
No evidence? There are two witnesses.
mumof1or2 · 11/12/2021 09:26

And presumably the police then investigated and found the child with a knife on them. Unlikely to have gone in and spoken to the school about knife crime otherwise.

Nevertime · 11/12/2021 09:29

@mumof1or2

And presumably the police then investigated and found the child with a knife on them. Unlikely to have gone in and spoken to the school about knife crime otherwise.
Police will go in to give that talk whenever a school asks for whatever reason.
Skyll · 11/12/2021 09:29

You can’t suspend children where there is no evidence. The op doesn’t say that the knife was found.

Also while the police took statements (did they even?) they have to investigate.

No child can be suspended as easily as that. On the say so of a phone call from another parent.

The school and the police will have procedures to follow. And it’s very early days.

Medievalist · 11/12/2021 09:31

But no one was stabbed and there is no evidence?

The op's ds, his friend and another mum all saw the knife.

Nevertime · 11/12/2021 09:33

My DS took a knife into school in yr7. There was no maliciousness in it, just stupidity. He got it out on the bus, but not at school. He got one day's internal exclusion.

Skyll · 11/12/2021 09:34

Then the other mum should have phoned the police too.

A child will not be suspended from school for weeks (as the op wants - a suspension until the new year) on the say so of another child and their mother reporting what her child says they saw.

The correct procedure is to go through the police and let them investigate.

LuluBlakey1 · 11/12/2021 09:34

Why are 10 year old children out at night in the park in December?

Hoardasurass · 11/12/2021 09:36

@mumof1or2 with no fiscal evidence nor any cctv evidence the statement of 2 10 year olds is not enough reliable evidence of anything. How do they know that these 2 boys aren't making this up (completely plausible). Under the circumstances I doubt that anyone would/could be arrested/prosecuted for this alleged crime

Medievalist · 11/12/2021 09:38

My DS took a knife into school in yr7. There was no maliciousness in it, just stupidity. He got it out on the bus, but not at school. He got one day's internal exclusion.

He was lucky. I was a parent governor at a school where taking a knife into school would have resulted in a permanent exclusion.

Skyll · 11/12/2021 09:39

This child didn’t take the knife into school?

Medievalist · 11/12/2021 09:40

@Hoardasurass - the op says another mum saw boy with the knife.

Nevertime · 11/12/2021 09:41

@Medievalist

My DS took a knife into school in yr7. There was no maliciousness in it, just stupidity. He got it out on the bus, but not at school. He got one day's internal exclusion.

He was lucky. I was a parent governor at a school where taking a knife into school would have resulted in a permanent exclusion.

Are you sure? A high achieving no bother to anyone child? Wink
margotsdevil · 11/12/2021 09:42

A school cannot exclude for behaviour that has happened outside of school. There is simply no way that the child can be punished by school for this incident - as scary as it has been. Think of the number of posters who refuse to punish at home for school based incidents?

The school sound like they are doing everything they can and I'm actually really impressed that they managed to do work on knife awareness the next day - but their role here is really to support the poor child who is clearly living in such a challenging home environment that this behaviour has been allowed. That child has my sympathy not my condemnation.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 11/12/2021 09:44

He is above the age of criminal responsibility and imo should have been arrested and taken in for questioning. Scare the little fucker straight. Threatening someone with a knife is a serious crime and should be treated as such.

I'd certainly be pushing for exclusion and if that isn't possible then he should be isolated and not allowed to mix with other children.

PAFMO · 11/12/2021 09:45

The school will undoubtedly be working behind the scenes. In or out of school.
The child with the knife needs help.
The other children need to know they are safe.

Nevertime · 11/12/2021 09:46

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

He is above the age of criminal responsibility and imo should have been arrested and taken in for questioning. Scare the little fucker straight. Threatening someone with a knife is a serious crime and should be treated as such.

I'd certainly be pushing for exclusion and if that isn't possible then he should be isolated and not allowed to mix with other children.

Well thank goodness you don't get to push for anything regarding other children.

There are rules around exclusion and for good reason.

Skyll · 11/12/2021 09:46

Arrested and taken in for questioning 😂😂😂.

Lock him up and throw away the key while you’re at it Hmm

PAFMO · 11/12/2021 09:47

@Nevertime

A high achieving child who takes a knife into school is NOT no bother to anyone. He was lucky to get a one day suspension, and I'd argue in this climate, his school were lax. I hope his behaviour has changed for the better.

Cyrilgoggin · 11/12/2021 09:50

Surely it's better that he is in school where staff and teachers can keep an eye on him? You've already said that he wasn't allowed out at lunch or break. I'm not sure him being at home would be a better option for anyone.

Nevertime · 11/12/2021 09:51

[quote PAFMO]@Nevertime

A high achieving child who takes a knife into school is NOT no bother to anyone. He was lucky to get a one day suspension, and I'd argue in this climate, his school were lax. I hope his behaviour has changed for the better.[/quote]
He'd been given a pen knife for scouts for Christmas and took it in to show off. It never occured to me he'd be so stupid, but there was no "behaviour" about it. He never got so much as a detention in the remaining 4.5 years of his time there.

I work in a PRU. We don't get sent children like that. They only get excluded when the school wants shot of them anyway.

Ponoka7 · 11/12/2021 09:56

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut, if you want to turn a child with issues into a psychopath.

@Skyll, the Police can take days to contact a school, if they do at all. It's unbelievable what isn't reported to SS even when a child is on a CP plan. I wouldn't rely on them.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 11/12/2021 10:00

@Skyll

Why did you ring the school? It didn’t happen in school?

I don’t think that’s really what you have the head teachers number for.

Because that is what safeguarding is, ffs!

Kid with knife breezes into school next day and school does not act - general uproar!

Kid with knife breezes into school next day and school does act - general uproar!

School's cannot win!

Skyll · 11/12/2021 10:00

Kid didn’t have knife in school.

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