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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel like I'm losing the will to live with my 3 week old fussy baby?

58 replies

Bananapancakes6 · 10/12/2021 09:28

Ds2 is 3weeks old. He sleeps or he cries, there is no awake periods where he seems happy or curious. I am dirty and worn out and I have no time to look after myself.

He fusses over his feeds for 1hour and he wants feeding every 2h. I am bottle feeding him cow&gate but he chokes and spits it out while feeding constantly. I am only using a size 0 mam teat. He alternates between diaherrea and constipation, he has mucus in his poo and he farts constantly and seems in pain. He's also had a cold for 2.5 weeks now and it's always congested. He writhes around when I'm trying to wind him and cries for more food.

I've just put him in his Moses basket and walked away because he hasn't settled since 7pm yesterday.

What the fuck do I do?!

OP posts:
marykitty · 10/12/2021 09:33

Hello dear, you might remember me from the pregnancy forum.
Do you have any midwife that can come and check the baby regarding feeding? You might need some help in finding the right brand.

NoSexLoveorGoop · 10/12/2021 09:33

Is it worth contacting your HV? Seems like something isn't quite right?

Basing this on absolutely no experience of the same thing but hopefully they can help?

You have my sympathies my middle DD was a very difficult baby so I know ho draining it is.

Do you have any help so you can at least have a short break?

MiloAndEddie · 10/12/2021 09:34

He sounds like he might have an allergy or intolerance to me. I’d be taking him to the doctor

ocdandme123 · 10/12/2021 09:34

Do you think he might have a dairy allergy? I'd go to the gp!

SnailandtheWail · 10/12/2021 09:36

Doctor’s appointment, something is up with him. Are you on your own?

AnneTwackie · 10/12/2021 09:38

Well done on putting him somewhere safe and taking time to breathe, no harm in doing that while you have a shower keeping him in sight, the tiniest of breaks can make such a difference to your well-being. It will get better Flowers

Embracelife · 10/12/2021 09:40

Is somebody with you?
Hand him over take a long shower

Then call h v and get an appointment to check for reflux etc

Seasidemumma77 · 10/12/2021 09:40

What you describe is exactly what my 3rd dc was like, until doctor prescribed a non dairy formula. Within 24hrs I had a happy contented baby. Definitely phone gp and get advice

ChangeChingyChange · 10/12/2021 09:40

Sounds like CMPA try switching him to the goats milk formula (can't remember the brand name) but you do need to contact a health professional.

ChangeChingyChange · 10/12/2021 09:41

Nannycare its called

foreverandalways · 10/12/2021 09:41

My daughter was the same many years ago and had an intolerance to formula. She was prescribed soy milk and was a different child. You need to contact your health visitor and gp immediately. Good luck and give yourself a break you are doing a fabulous job x

Helpstopthepain · 10/12/2021 09:43

Another saying it sounds like an allergy/intolerance. Book an appointment with your GP.

Well done on putting him down. Do you have any help? Anyone that can look after him while you have a bath and a sleep?

Original poster
Bananapancakes6 · 10/12/2021 09:43

I took him to the doctor on Monday, doctor just said he was very little and probably just adjusting to digesting food. I asked about cmpa then and she said unlikely as he doesn't have a rash (altho he has developed a few spots on his face since) and that mucus poo was because he had a cold, other symptoms were colic. She has given us gaviscon in case he has reflux. He's been having the gaviscon since yesterday and he's puking a fair bit.

How do I get the gp to consider it could be cmpa?

OP posts:
ForkedIt · 10/12/2021 09:44

I’d be querying dairy allergy and/or a tongue tie.
Both of my children have been tongue tied, one significantly more so. When I tried to give her some milk in a bottle it was physically impossible for her to latch onto the bottle and she just kept choking on the milk.

Goawayangryman · 10/12/2021 09:47

Doctors often know very little about CMPA. They certainly don't always have a rash. You can do your own trial by buying some hydrolysed formula. We used Aptamil Pepti as it is more palatable. Kids with CMPA are often intolerant to soy and other whole, mammalian milks like goats'. Any large Boots will order you some hydrolysed in. It costs a fortune but if it does turn out to be that then you can get it on prescription.

SnugKnights · 10/12/2021 09:49

@Seasidemumma77

What you describe is exactly what my 3rd dc was like, until doctor prescribed a non dairy formula. Within 24hrs I had a happy contented baby. Definitely phone gp and get advice
Me too. Definitely worth a try even if you have to buy some to trial it for a week if the GP isn’t helpful. My DC was on Nutramigen but had to have Carobel mixed in to thicken it because she had silent reflux. Make sure you tell them about the nappies and especially the mucus. What about any dry skin or rashes? My DC didn’t have problems with that until they were much older but it’s very common with CMPA in tiny ones. I hope you get to the bottom of it it’s so hard Flowers
Moonbabysmum · 10/12/2021 09:50

Whatever is going on in terms of intolerances etc, unless you are a single mum, with a bottle fed baby, your should be able to get some breaks. You shouldn't be having to do it all.

Original poster
Bananapancakes6 · 10/12/2021 09:51

@Goawayangryman thanks for this, I think I will go out today and buy some. Can you give me an example of a brand to look out for please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bananapancakes6 · 10/12/2021 09:53

@Moonbabysmum I have a husband but he isn't very well at the moment, he's currently in bed with a virus (not covid) hence why the past 24h have been particularly hard.

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/12/2021 09:54

Another one here who's baby was the same and completely changed overnight after being prescribed dairy free formula. I'm not saying that's definitely what it is but everything you've described is how mine was*

*15 years old now but I still remember how hard they were in those first 12 weeks before the GP agreed to try the formula

SnugKnights · 10/12/2021 10:01

Cross posted with others. My youngest had tongue tie as well that had to be divided twice but made very little difference. It took Nutramigen with Carobel, plus Omeprazole & Domperidone to control all her symptoms. We have specialist HV team who deal with feeding difficulties and they diagnosed CMPA when a GP had discounted it due to no rash.

MinuteToFive · 10/12/2021 10:04

My son was the same and we changed to comfort milk (cow and gate do one) and he was much better. I'd chat with the HV too in case there is anything else going on but it does sound like an intolerance of some kind.

I hated it when people said it to me but I promise you'll wake up one day and it will all be much more enjoyable and easier x

Original poster
Bananapancakes6 · 10/12/2021 10:11

@SnugKnights thanks for this. I did try carobel in his feed but it gave him explosive diarrhea and he didn't seem to like the taste of it.

OP posts:
Goawayangryman · 10/12/2021 10:12

There are loads of brands. Aptamil Pepti is very palatable but unsuitable for Some children with true allergy as it is not amino acid based. Then there are the likes of Nutramigen, Nutramigen AA, and neocate. The last three taste pretty bad but some babies drink them no bother.

Original poster
Bananapancakes6 · 10/12/2021 10:12

@MinuteToFive I wondered about trying comfort milk but I don't want to chop and change him too much. Hard to know what to try next.

I did call HV before I went to gp and she was massively unhelpful. Just said he was very little, babies cry etc etc

OP posts:
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