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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent from the school opposite parking on my drive

387 replies

LemonJelly76 · 10/12/2021 00:34

I'm not letting on my actual opinion on this, but I am curious to know what others think.

I live opposite a primary school. I knew the school was there when I bought the house. Most days my car is not on my drive because I am at work, but I have on a couple of occasions come home to find a car there.
I haven't approached the parent on these occasions and have just parked elsewhere until they leave

This parent regularly uses the drive (must assume I'm not in) for 10-15 mins each morning and afternoon. There is usually other parking available, but further away

Driveway is a shared drive for 4 cars, I own one of the spaces and there is a Private Parking sign up across all four spaces which was there before I moved in.

YABU - it's fine because you're not using it most of the time
YANBU - they're CFs

OP posts:
Gargellen · 10/12/2021 09:43

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats

I'm wondering if this is a reverse?
Has the CF reversed into the drive then?
Gonnagetgoing · 10/12/2021 09:44

It’s cheeky as they’ve not asked you and just assumed it’s ok or you won’t see to save them a slightly longer walk.

It’s very entitled and I’d be having words —or putting tacks - yes i know it’s illegal!— on my driveway!

GrandDuchessRomanov · 10/12/2021 09:46

This would give me the rage.

My bed is empty a lot of the time but I wouldn't let any cheeky fucker use it!

I can't get over how some folk think that they have the right to do this!

Gonnagetgoing · 10/12/2021 09:46

@LemonJelly76 - I bet he’d be annoyed if it was on his drive and especially more than once.

The odd occasion you wouldn’t mind like a very one off use. Time after time, no, CF territory.

theDudesmummy · 10/12/2021 09:48

I'd start by putting up a sign telling people not to park there at any time as the driveway is in use. If they persist I would take some of the other measures suggested.

Phobiaphobic · 10/12/2021 09:54

I've only been inconvenienced a couple of times and I did wonder if I was being unreasonable feeling a bit aggrieved by the cheeky fuckery of it, especially when my dad, who's a very chilled out person, thinks there's no harm being done

I'm guessing your dad isn't big on people having boundaries. The fact is, it has impacted on you, and the person doing it is clearly taking the piss. If your dad is trying to tell you that you should be just fine with people taking the piss, I'm left wondering what else you've been taught to ignore or put up with.

thewhatsit · 10/12/2021 09:55

It wouldn’t bother me once or twice - I’d imagine a stressed parent running late, doing something they know isn’t ok but hoping to get away with it for 10 minutes because they don’t want their child on the late register … But regularly is something else. Someone has basically decided that it is their parking space. It’s unacceptable.

Our neighbour had someone leave a car for weeks on end outside their garage. Garages are on the back on a different street so they weren’t aware of it until we told them. Together we actually told a passing police officer we had reason to suspect the car had been stolen and dumped and they smashed the window open to check inside for details and the registration number in case the plates were fake Blush Never happened again though!

The longer it goes on the worse it will be because the parent will get defensive and say that you never noticed or cared and they’ve been doing it for months, what’s the problem now?

Nenemum · 10/12/2021 09:57

Just put your wheelie bin across your drive.

If they move it, ... meh. Life’s too short for disputes like this. As you said you knew you were buying on a school road so probably already aware of parking issues.

All these suggestions of confronting the parker, reporting to school, leaving passive aggressive notes on their car, etc it’s all nonsense.

Your dad has a point and I’d agree with him but unfortunately you have to consider things like potential oil leaks or damage to boundary fencing if they’re a rubbish driver and so on.

mykiki · 10/12/2021 09:58

Wow, I can't believe you're so chilled out about this.. I would be so pissed if that happened to me! Definitely put a sign there / block the driveway off with cones, not bins, you want it to seem intentional. If they still don't get the message from then definitely take it further and block the car in so you can have words! Stand your ground! X

ImInStealthMode · 10/12/2021 10:01

Going right against the flow of popular opinion here obviously but I couldn't get worked up about someone parking briefly in my space while I'm not there and it's stood empty (although I did used to get very angry at school droppers who would park across the entrance/exit to our entire parking area where I used to live and block us in).

Obviously if it bothers you though OP then you should do something about it. Plenty of good suggestions here.

ambereeree · 10/12/2021 10:04

Take a picture and send to the school. This would send me into a rage. School run turns even the most decent people into cheeky shits.

Howshouldibehave · 10/12/2021 10:06

Apologies if you’ve already clarified this.

Who owns the other three spaces? Do you know she hasn’t got arrangement with someone to park in one of them and is using yours in error?

Beautiful3 · 10/12/2021 10:07

I would leave a note on their windscreen, saying please don't block my drive as its stopping me from getting on.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 10/12/2021 10:08

Set up a loud speaker.. When your camera alerts you the car is there you can be the voice of God and scare them shitless!

LightSpeeds · 10/12/2021 10:08

Put a polite note on the car saying it's YOUR SPACE and private property and I reckon the car probably won't appear there again.

If it does, then put another note on, implying 'further action', possibly legal (that's usually enough to do the trick).

AuntMargo · 10/12/2021 10:11

Advise them and ask them to stop and then start to block them, 15mins first time, 30mins the next and so on in if they take no notice and continue to park there !

conxray · 10/12/2021 10:12

My dad thinks it's ok to use it because 99% of the time its empty

No it isn't ok to use.
I have a car port and it's empty 75% of the time during the day. Is it ok for others to use it during that time?
No, because I chose to buy a property with private parking and it cost more than similar flats with no private parking. I paid so that I could have the convenience of having a parking space whenever I needed it. Not so that others can randomly park there and I come home not able to access my parking space and have to park somewhere else.

You have paid a premium because your property has a parking space, whether you are renting or own. It is your parking space and the school parent is trespassing. Get cones up. Approach them if they do it when you happen to see them. Take the registration and report it to the school. Get another sign saying private parking.

Your Dad's opinion is irrelevant as he does not live there (presumably) and isn't being inconvenienced by this.

sunshinesupermum · 10/12/2021 10:12

'No harm being done' until there is an emergency and you need access to YOUR drive. Nip this in the bud now OP.

LittleMysSister · 10/12/2021 10:17

No, there is absolutely no way anyone should park on someone else's drive without permission. I would never have the gall to do that.

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 10/12/2021 10:18

They are being unreasonable.

As nothings been said then they’re assuming that it’s been ok and you’ve either not noticed or not minded.

I’d pop a note on saying it’s an inconvenience as you’ve had to park elsewhere several times and can they please stop. No harm in being polite.

If they continue then get a bit more forceful.

Earwigworries · 10/12/2021 10:18

If you came home Ill and just wanted to get on your drive you wouldn’t be happy and you would be justified… if she’s doing it daily block your drive

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 10/12/2021 10:19

Ps I live opposite a school and while our road is incredibly busy at school run time I’ve never seen anyone using other peoples drives!

Groovee · 10/12/2021 10:20

I'd take a photo and send it to the school.

My children's school was hot on this as parents were so selfish and would park across the safe crossings and on double yellows. The deputy head regular did a parking newsletter showing dangerous parking.

Saoirsesersha · 10/12/2021 10:20

I’d be livid

OnlyAFleshWound · 10/12/2021 10:22

@Phobiaphobic

I've only been inconvenienced a couple of times and I did wonder if I was being unreasonable feeling a bit aggrieved by the cheeky fuckery of it, especially when my dad, who's a very chilled out person, thinks there's no harm being done

I'm guessing your dad isn't big on people having boundaries. The fact is, it has impacted on you, and the person doing it is clearly taking the piss. If your dad is trying to tell you that you should be just fine with people taking the piss, I'm left wondering what else you've been taught to ignore or put up with.

Gosh that's an AMAZING jump.