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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent from the school opposite parking on my drive

387 replies

LemonJelly76 · 10/12/2021 00:34

I'm not letting on my actual opinion on this, but I am curious to know what others think.

I live opposite a primary school. I knew the school was there when I bought the house. Most days my car is not on my drive because I am at work, but I have on a couple of occasions come home to find a car there.
I haven't approached the parent on these occasions and have just parked elsewhere until they leave

This parent regularly uses the drive (must assume I'm not in) for 10-15 mins each morning and afternoon. There is usually other parking available, but further away

Driveway is a shared drive for 4 cars, I own one of the spaces and there is a Private Parking sign up across all four spaces which was there before I moved in.

YABU - it's fine because you're not using it most of the time
YANBU - they're CFs

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 10/12/2021 08:56

Then if it continues you can speak with the school & give them the car number.

The school would be delighted to hear from stranger, & definitely have a team of staff on standby, avidly waiting for a chance to embroil themselves in a parking spat which they have no control over & no way of addressing. As soon as they have this car reg they can spring into action, possibly in capes.
Top advice from the MN "Report Them!!!" Brigade. Hmm

BonnesVacances · 10/12/2021 08:56

I would be more incensed by the principle of it. I'd put a note on the car to say if you want to park on my driveway please at least ask me if it's ok. Otherwise, stop.

I used to drop someone else's DC off at school as a favour and had to park a long way away to then walk my younger DC and this one to school. There were lots of empty driveways opposite and I often thought about putting a note through some of the doors asking if we could come to an arrangement to park on their driveway if they were out all day. But couldn't decide if it was CF or not.

HeronLanyon · 10/12/2021 09:01

My house is ‘empty’ when I’m at work. My car is empty when I’m not using it. They are there ready for my return/use at whatever time I chose. I’d suggest you honestly get a bit of a backbone op. They should not be using your property whether you are there or not.
Good luck.

LittleMissTake · 10/12/2021 09:04

Subject to the agreement of the four other houses, can you put a chain and padlock across the driveway?

Rainartist · 10/12/2021 09:05

Does you dad think they could let themselves in to make a cuppa while they wait? After all it's cold and you aren't using the house, I'm sure they'd be careful....

Gumbomambo · 10/12/2021 09:08

Tell them to fuck off out of it! Our school actively encourages us to report bad parking due to the danger to children. There was a serious accident as a car had been dumped on a zebra crossing and the air ambulance had to take a toddler to hospital because it caused a serious accident.. Theres a group that publishes regs and photos of the worst offenders on FB, to shame them, which I do enjoy but not sure if they should or not. Since that most of it stopped to be fair to them. They don’t care about inconveniencing people, causing accidents, endangering kids but they would rather die than be shown up on face book.

overnightangel · 10/12/2021 09:15

I’d get plenty of pictures of the car parked Don your drive and plaster it all over social media on the schools Facebook page etc and shame them into stopping

3scape · 10/12/2021 09:17

Chances are the journey is under 3 miles. What a wasteful C and entitled F they are. You can tell by the way they just appropriate private space for themselves.

WhenSepEnds · 10/12/2021 09:19

I can't believe you wouldn't have dealt with this the first time it happened.... the nerve of people
Is astounding!!! How do you think it's ok to park on someone else drive? I don't even do that if I'm visiting someone I know

ChangeChingyChange · 10/12/2021 09:22

@silentpool

My CF neighbours use my bin. I remove their rubbish and dump it on top of their bin and couldn't care less. If they ever mentioned it, I would ask them how they felt about me having a BBQ on their patio... Mi casa, su Casa ya know...
Bin lock
RubyKitty · 10/12/2021 09:22

@KateInHappyland

I wouldn’t have parked elsewhere whilst waiting for them to leave. I’d have sat in my car, indicating towards the space, waiting to see the look of horror when they returned and realised they’d been caught. Grin

Definitely call them out on it.

This!
JustLikea · 10/12/2021 09:26

They'll carry on till you ask them to stop.

Ignore your dad as it's absolutely not on for them to be doing this whether you mind or not

IncompleteSenten · 10/12/2021 09:26

If I was actually out then it wouldn't bother me but I sure as shit wouldn't park elsewhere.
I'd park across my drive and they would have to knock to be let out.

Their attitude to that would determine whether I continued to turn a blind eye or installed a bollard.

JustLikea · 10/12/2021 09:28

Put a note on their car stating that you've taken daily photos and that you'll report them to the police for blatant trespassing.

PlumManor · 10/12/2021 09:29

I feel your pain, I live on a street with two primaries (different faith schools) and a high school which have staggered start and leave times for obvious reasons. The primary parents are the worse offenders and frequently block my drive entrance, reverse down my drive (it's long) and park, stop half on the pavement and half over my entrance, sit idling on the yellow hazards outside the entrance or stop on the road whilst little Jimmy jumps in and a queue of parents and yellow buses wait behind them.

When challenged they were always "only 5 minutes" - yes five minutes twice a day for you and then the next person that moves into your slot. Five minutes twice a day, every single day, all year. They are particularly selfish when it's raining.

I've had them reverse down my drive and sit in the car on their phones, when I've driven up behind them to get out they have moved then waited on the pavement holding all the kids up so they could reverse back down the drive when I'd gone.

Only I don't go. I drive to the top of my drive, get out and go back into the house whilst they hold up 100s of kids and cars whilst hovering on the pavement and wondering where to go.

I don't agree with those saying "don't bother the school" - absolutely DO! the schools are very keen to keep neighbourly relations and don't take kindly to parents upsetting the neighbours and putting their children at risk. They will take the Reg plates off you and will send circulars round asking parents of said cars to be more mindful.

JustLikea · 10/12/2021 09:29

@IncompleteSenten

If I was actually out then it wouldn't bother me but I sure as shit wouldn't park elsewhere. I'd park across my drive and they would have to knock to be let out.

Their attitude to that would determine whether I continued to turn a blind eye or installed a bollard.

Yes I like this - do this

starfishmummy · 10/12/2021 09:29

@Mothership4two

I agree mainly, but traffic warden can do nothing. Hassling the school however might get them to mention it to parents or even put out their own patrol
I agree. How will the traffic warden know which which is the CFs car as opposed to the OPS car or someone she has allowed to park there?
Snog · 10/12/2021 09:29

YABU OP anyone should be able to use anything you own whenever you are not using it. This parent should also be able to have a nap in your bed when you are not using it and drive your car. But only when you are not using it.

Comefromaway · 10/12/2021 09:34

@pianolessons1

you can get a clamp from Halfords quite cheaply. I'd put up a sign and clamp her next time. Make her wait an hour til you take it off.
Dreadful advice as clamping a vehicle on private property is illegal.

I''d block them in though.

Itsnotover · 10/12/2021 09:35

YANBU!!

Itsnotover · 10/12/2021 09:35

@Snog

YABU OP anyone should be able to use anything you own whenever you are not using it. This parent should also be able to have a nap in your bed when you are not using it and drive your car. But only when you are not using it.

🤣🤣

CatalogueShopper · 10/12/2021 09:39

My Ring Camera (I also have a Ring door camera) allows me to talk to people plus activate a siren via my phone. Just wondering if yours does the same?

Re sitting there indicating this happened outside the primary school my kids go to. Very old school so old houses with occasional driveways one of which was half parked over. Owner of the house came home, couldn't get on their drive so sat in the middle of the road with their indicator on.

Cue queue of traffic of parents wanting to get parked up themselves but they were stuck. Lots of cars coming the other way to also park up for school. Bloke in the car behind sat on his horn for ages, homeowner just sat there. All of this was visible to all parents as the playground runs in front of the school.

Bloke gets out of his car calls the women some really awful names and tells her to just park her fucking car further down the road, but it would have been a fair way away as the school has over 700 pupils. She can't do this because she is disabled, has a blue badge on her dashboard and refuses to move, she will park on her drive. This stand off continued, someone called the police, bloke was spoken to, person who had parked over the drive wanted to curl up and die, hadn't wanted to move their car when they saw it all kicking off but had to when the police showed up. Talk about a walk of shame. It was glorious.

Resulted in the council taking action, white H bars over driveway entrances, double yellows on corners to stop idiot parents parking there too.

OP agree with others, note on her car definitely, point out the cameras, tell her number plate taken. I don't know if it is urban legend or not but a homeowner followed home a person who consistently parked on their drive. Discretely. Next day they parked on CF's drive precisely when they knew they would be doing a school pick up. Parent returns home, can't get on their drive. Driver says, annoying isn't it?

ThreeWiseBuddhas · 10/12/2021 09:39

Take a pic of the number plate and post it on your local FB group asking if anyone knows who's car it is as they've been using your drive to park in without permission
And then sit back and watch it all unfold....Grin

OldTurtleNewShell · 10/12/2021 09:40

People are nuts when it comes to school parking. I wouldn't assume she's doing it because she has good reason for needing to park there.
My DS's secondary school is right next to a huge free car park which is almost completely empty in the morning because the retail park it belongs to only opens at nine. That doesn't stop parents from parking on double yellows or clogging up the road outside the school.
I genuinely don't get it. It's not even an extra two minutes walk for the precious darlings but people still block the road and park like twats.
People park selfishly because they can, not because they have to.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/12/2021 09:42

Sadly, penguin bollards appear to be no longer available. :(
However, there are other (less fun) options here www.barriersdirect.co.uk/bollards-c1022/parking-bollards-c1223

Your Dad is daft.
She is getting away with it and will start to see it as her right to park there unless you challenge it - so I'm glad to see you are going to challenge her. And/or get the bollards. Wink

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