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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be annoyed about school lunch?

95 replies

Kara198 · 09/12/2021 21:52

I've always encouraged my boys to try new food and been pretty relaxed about it. They're both really good eaters and they know if they try something they really don't like I will let them have something else, even if just toast. It's rare that they don't like stuff.
Today my 5yo came home starving. It turns out he asked for a new chicken dish at lunch and he didn't like it. He asked if he could switch to meatballs and they said no.
So he got literally no food, he said they wouldn't let him have dessert.
I'm pretty annoyed as the first thing he said was "I wish I just chose the meatballs as I know I like those".
Is this standard practice in schools to not let them choose something else if they don't like their food? It may well be. Just seems a bit shitty! 😞
Don't want to raise it if this is the norm.
Thanks

OP posts:
DicklessWonder · 09/12/2021 21:54

They cook what has been ordered plus maybe a couple of extra portions. Of course they don’t allow swaps. Confused

Senmumm2021 · 09/12/2021 21:55

Most schools don't have enough to do that.

Purplepepsi · 09/12/2021 21:56

In our school the meals are cooked to order the exact number of meals for the kids. That's why they order them so they get something they like.

JKDinomum · 09/12/2021 21:57

To be honest, they budget for one meal per child so if loads of kids decide they don't like the first meal they are given and get a second whole meal then they would actually run out of food. Surely there was something in the 'new' meal he could/would eat? Potatoes/vegetables/pasta/rice etc? Presumably he didn't just have chicken on his plate?

I think in our primary school they would have at least given them some bread if they genuinely weren't going to eat any of their meal.
I don't really see why he wasn't allowed pudding, that seems pretty old fashioned - no pudding unless you finished your main.

Quornflakegirl · 09/12/2021 21:57

You can’t swap in a restaurant unless there is something wrong with the meal, not liking it isn’t a reason. Imagine if 600 children did this Confused

PinkWaferBiscuit · 09/12/2021 21:57

They will have cooked enough for what was ordered they won't be able to just get him some meatballs. I'm amazed you think they would just be able to swap his meal for another.

Sirzy · 09/12/2021 21:57

Schools don’t tend to have spare meals hanging around.

Was there nothing at all on his plate he liked?

CheddarGorgeous · 09/12/2021 21:57

It would be carnage to let all the kids swap! If they let one everyone would try it.

BusBusBus · 09/12/2021 21:59

The cooks where I am, literally cook exactly what is ordered as budgets are so tight. There might be a tiny bit left over but iften now. They wouldnt stop a child eating pudding though.

But i do see why you would feel sad that he will stick to what he knows in future.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 09/12/2021 21:59

Can you imagine every child wanting to swap meals though?

He's not going to starve missing one lunch

Original poster
Kara198 · 09/12/2021 21:59

I never understand the Confused faces, it's new to me hence me asking?
I assumed that they went up and chose their food bit if they're preordained it then it makes more sense.
I still can't see why they would let him have some bread and agree that no pudding seems old fashioned and a bit tight.

OP posts:
ChangeChingyChange · 09/12/2021 22:00

Yeah sorry YABU
Tell him to choose what he knows he likes at school and try new things at home.

GTAlogic · 09/12/2021 22:00

Yes because they only cook the amount needed for the number of children who choose each option. They only have a limited amount of money and can't afford to buy, prepare and then inevitably waste all the food they'd need to offer every child a different choice.

Having said that though, in almost every school I've worked in where I've had to cover a lunchtime duty the dinner ladies do still serve pudding even if the child hasn't eaten much of their main course.

PooWillyNameChange · 09/12/2021 22:00

I think no one is unreasonable here. I understand you're disappointed that a) your son went hungry and b) he has been discouraged from trying new things, but also unless it's a private school I imagine there are budgetary constraints involved.

Quornflakegirl · 09/12/2021 22:00

I’m confused that this doesn’t make sense to you! Confused

Notimeforaname · 09/12/2021 22:02

Yabu and slightly precious. No they cant have 2 meals for every child ''just in case''

GTAlogic · 09/12/2021 22:02

I still can't see why they would let him have some bread a lot of schools I see now have extra sides available, such as salad, plain pasta or pieces of fruit. Perhaps ask at your child's school?

coffeepleeease · 09/12/2021 22:03

I'd be annoyed that he wasn't allowed dessert!

ponkydonkey · 09/12/2021 22:04

My son came home today and told me he didn't like lunch so he didn't eat it..... fair enough clearly your weren't that hungry then was my reply!
They won't starve and he's learnt a good lesson
Choose the meatballs 😀🤣

He'll be fine

Notimeforaname · 09/12/2021 22:04

Then all the other kids would see him eat no dinner but get dessert, it doesn't set a good example.
Kids notice these things and chance their arm. I've worked in schools and they cannot accommodate everyone all the time.

whistleryukon · 09/12/2021 22:04

He can't have been that hungry, or he would have eaten the chicken he asked for. Don't be one of those parents.

Smartiepants79 · 09/12/2021 22:07

The budget allows for one meal per child. Not two.
At many schools the parent Pre-orders the child’s meal and that is what they get. We’re not allowed to feed them anything else without permission.
In my DDs school she chooses from a couple of options but as others have said, there’s not a load of spare food hanging around.
Not giving him any desert is a bit weird though.

Skyll · 09/12/2021 22:07

This is standard I’m afraid in schools. Imagine how they’d work the catering out otherwise.

And yes, if he didn’t eat his main course it’s standard not to get dessert because then all the kids would want the dessert not their dinner.

GiltEdges · 09/12/2021 22:08

@whistleryukon

He can't have been that hungry, or he would have eaten the chicken he asked for. Don't be one of those parents.
Well technically, this. Though I also don't believe in making food a battleground, so think they should have allowed him to have his dessert.
madisonbridges · 09/12/2021 22:10

Ooo, he's learnt early on the dilemma of eating out. Do I go with a boring old favourite or do I take a risk on something new? Sometimes we make a mistake and we have to suck it up. 🤷 If he'd been very hungry, he'd have found something on his plate to eat.