To wonder what stupid questions you've been asked

[backtolifebacktoreality]

Last weekend I phoned a local florists
and asked them to send some flowers to a nearby friend.

The friend lives in a relatively small cul de sac. The florist obviously asked the address for them to be delivered to. I advised they lived at No 12.

She then went on asking all sorts of questions about how she could find the house once in the street, ie what side of the road etc. She then asked questions about what would make the house recognisable to her, ie what colour front door.

I had to bite my lip but really wanted to respond "the fact that is has the number 12 on the door"!

I used to work in a printing company and answered the phone once to someone who thought she’d called the Co-Op bedroom department. When I said she’d got the wrong number, she said ‘Are you sure?’ As if I might have somehow missed being surrounded by double divans.

@Fidgetty

In America. Ended up chatting to a couple of girls in a queue. They noted my accent, asked where I was from. Then one said with complete sincerity "oh wow so did you guys drive here?" Yes love, we drove our Renault across the Atlantic

I know Americans aren't exactly lauded for their knowledge of world geography but Christ!

An American I work with in a very highly esteemed profession doing international work, asked what the currency in Germany was 🙄

Really?

That's insane! shock Did she eventually understand what "dead" means?

I always try to suffer fools gladly, but that would have sent me into full PA mode and I would have insisted that I need to speak to somebody with English as a NATIVE language. If they then told me that they were a native speaker, I would ask for the name of their manager to report their grossly inappropriate 'joking' (or is it meant to be bullying?) to. In fact, I would say that to anybody who asked a second time after being told clearly. Sorry, but that is just completely incompetent and utterly insensitive.

Oh god, i hate those calls. If they want you to call back, they leave a message.

On a similar note, I detest unexpected and unsolicited calls from companies who immediately ask you for personal information to confirm for their 'security' that they're talking to the right person.

Even if they are genuine, albeit extremely misguided and, ironically, trying to risk your security, I refuse on principle to engage any further. They always seem exasperated that I would somehow not want to give all my personal details to some random stranger who calls me.

I mean, I could go into Tesco dressed in a stripey black and white jumper, wearing an eye mask and carrying a bag labelled 'Swag', and wander around the store stealthily, hiding behind pillars and looking furtive - and be fully intending to pay for all the goods I took from the shelves; BUT, it wouldn't look good, would it?

@CaputApriDefero

My birthday is Christmas Eve.

Multiple times a year I will be asked if I'm lucky and get two sets of presents. Yes. Like everyone else who celebrates these occasions, I get birthday presents and Christmas presents.

My best friend was born on Christmas Day. His younger sister hasn’t seen him or her parents since she was 19 because he got a lot more presents than her at Christmas. They tried to reassure her that they spent the same amount on each of them over the year but she just couldn’t get it. He’s now in his mid 50’s, has reached out many times but she still feels that they favoured him.

@FrenchFancie

I used to work in the probate department, you’d be amazed at the number of companies who seem to not understand that the deceased can’t fill out or sign forms any more, nor can I tell them where they are living now. (Was tempted to reply ‘the cemetery’ to that question)

I’ve told countless companies that my parents live in boxes on my fire place when asked for their address. They do get quite snarky when they have call again because there is no such address. I’m not sure what address to give once they have been scattered!

This has reminded me, when elderly relative was still alive her bank insisted on speaking to her on the phone despite her being profoundly deaf. The rest of her family including those with power of attorney couldn’t convey to them that despite holding the phone up to her ear, she couldn’t respond as she had idea what they were saying.

In the end I think my male cousin had to call them doing his best impression of an old lady.

Re: Great Ormond St, I’m not sure that is stupid - for example Charing Cross hospital is five miles away from Charing Cross.

My best friend was born on Christmas Day. His younger sister hasn’t seen him or her parents since she was 19 because he got a lot more presents than her at Christmas. They tried to reassure her that they spent the same amount on each of them over the year but she just couldn’t get it. He’s now in his mid 50’s, has reached out many times but she still feels that they favoured him.

They could always have given her an equal amount of presents at Christmas and then, when her next birthday came around, give her nothing and tell her that she'd already had her birthday presents on her brother's birthday, as she apparently felt it fairer that way.

As somebody very grateful to have a Summer birthday, I appreciate how rubbish it must be to have a birthday within a week or two of Christmas - much less actually on Christmas Eve/Day/Boxing Day.

Even if people do genuinely give you twice as many presents instead of the quite frankly nasty "Oh, this is a joint present for your birthday and Christmas" (which just happens to be the same value as everybody else's Christmas presents), which child wants ALL of their year's main presents all at once (especially at a time when everybody else does too, so they don't get a special day just for them) but then have to wait a full year before they get any more?

@PyjamaMuddleduck

Do you have children? By the sonography looking for retained products of conception after my missed miscarriage

Why is that a stupid question?

This has reminded me, when elderly relative was still alive her bank insisted on speaking to her on the phone despite her being profoundly deaf. The rest of her family including those with power of attorney couldn’t convey to them that despite holding the phone up to her ear, she couldn’t respond as she had idea what they were saying.

In the end I think my male cousin had to call them doing his best impression of an old lady.

What gets me is that the security questions they ask are usually only things like DoB or full address that any close family member would know anyway.

I remember reading a number of years ago, when telephone banking was the most high-tech it got, about a man who was continually being refused access to his own account. He had a very high-pitched, feminine-sounding voice and every bank assistant would see that the account was in the name of Mr Smith and tell him "I'm sorry, Madam, but we can only communicate with the actual account holder".

Somebody we use to know had a mother with an incredibly gruff voice - deeper than probably about 75% of men - and she always got the same on the phone.

These days, I doubt you'd have any troubles with that as banks and other companies would be terrified of accidentally discriminating against a trans customer. That's good news for the trans customers and, in reality, if you did want to phone up pretending to be an opposite sex person for whatever reason (whether fraudulent or as we've read above), it's highly unlikely you wouldn't have a friend or family member of that same sex whom you could ask to call for you anyway.

@backtolifebacktoreality

Last weekend I phoned a local florists and asked them to send some flowers to a nearby friend.

The friend lives in a relatively small cul de sac. The florist obviously asked the address for them to be delivered to. I advised they lived at No 12.

She then went on asking all sorts of questions about how she could find the house once in the street, ie what side of the road etc. She then asked questions about what would make the house recognisable to her, ie what colour front door.

I had to bite my lip but really wanted to respond "the fact that is has the number 12 on the door"!

Some people don't have the name or number visible. The florist probably has more experience than you trying to find addresses.

Do I cry because my brother died or because my hair is wet? When I was 12 years old at the funeral by a relative.

@TheCloudBotherer

I recently mentioned to a friend that I was getting my hair cut later that day. "Shorter?"

Well, yeah...

That made me laugh, but I suppose you could be getting layers or something so that it wouldn't appear shorter.

Why is that a stupid question?

Technically, it isn't; but it shows a remarkable level of crass insensitivity at a very upsetting time. So much easier and kinder to ask if you have any older children - or even surviving children would be much better.

You may consider it a load of random failed cells, but to a mother who desperately wanted that baby to survive, you're just adding to the trauma by instantly discounting them as their child/a person at all.

When talking to the family, most HCPs will refer to a recently-deceased elderly relative as 'Grandma' or 'your loved one', but people still need compassion at the other end of life.

What gets me is that the security questions they ask are usually only things like DoB or full address that any close family member would know anyway.

Somehow, our bank at some point recorded the wrong DOB for DH. Whenever he tried to prove who he was, they refused to believe it was him, for giving his true DOB. Eventually he had to go in with his passport and other ID, to get them to change their records. He demanded compensation off them, for wasting his time! They paid him.

Had the IT provider for my company ask whether I could send them an email to raise a ticket wheb I called them. My issue was that I couldn't access my email. It took a frustratingly long time for them to understand why I couldn't do as instructed. (Yes, I could have asked a colleague to send one on my behalf, but I knew that it was perfectly possible for them to log a ticket by phone).

@RandomLondoner

Asked how to spell w.

I learned on Mumsnet that "w" is "double-u", so I wonder if "w" could be spelled "uu".

Yes, I've had this confusion.

@Yournamehere007

People often ask me how to spell my surname which is Jones. Im always polite but do an inward eye roll.

I suppose you don't live in Wales then. Johns exists as well, maybe they're confused by that?

@TheOrigRights

My ex was a travel agent in Cambridge.

American tourist: is there a bus from Sydney to Aukland?

American tourist (a different one): Is there a bridge from Wales to Ireland?

Well, there's a tunnel from France to England and a bridge from Sweden to Denmark so not necessarily such a stupid question about Wales to Ireland.

@firstimemamma

I took my son for his pre-school booster the other day and he nurse said to my son "so then, do you go to school?" She knew he was 3 and he was getting his pre-school Jab.

He could still have been at a nursery attached to a school.

@cherrytree63

I was riding down the road when an old school friend pulled up in his car and said "do you still go horse riding " Asked how to spell w. When I was working at a lab I refused to take in a semen sample as it wasn't in a sterile pot. Really hard not to crack up when the woman trying to hand it in asked what's the difference between a jam jar and her vagina. I applied for benefits after my husband died. I was asked if my husband could attend a meeting with the CSA. Yes that's fine, but just don't open the pot of ashes unless you've got a hoover handy. Following my mastectomy "how are you following your vasectomy"

Was the first person Irish? That's a real Irish thing to say, ''are you still at the horse riding/hobby etc.'' We don't mean it literally

@OnGoldenPond

Went to doctor multiple times over a six month period with worsening nausea and balance problems. By the last appointment had constant vomiting for a week and couldn't walk in a straight line without holding on to furniture.

"Do you think it could be depression?" asked the doctor.

It wasn't.

I had the same symptoms, but was given HRT by my GP... FFS Hope you're better now.

I was vacuuming when my asked me..what are you doing? I replied even a man of your intelligence can surely work it out

@megustalacerveza

It sounds like the woman could well have had some kind of disability, such as a visual difficulty, OP. Lots of people have trouble being able to see house numbers, and the fact she asked for the colour of the door suggests this. She also doesn't actually know that your friend lives in a small cul-de-sac and that it would be fairly obvious which house it was. She delivers to dozens of houses every day and has probably wasted a lot of time trying to find houses, and having some hints about how to find somewhere more easily cuts down on the wasted time and delays.

Likewise, the person who asked if the form was complete - you must never have worked in an admin role if you don't know that it is in fact common for people to submit incomplete forms missing crucial information. There's a reason people ask questions like that.

I can't believe how many people jump to the conclusion that someone must be stupid for asking things like this, rather than the far more likely scenario that there's a good reason they're asking.

Has anyone ever suggested that you might have a problem with empathy and understanding where other people are coming from?

Nicely explained but there's no need for the last paragraph. Some have said on here about asking 'stupid questions without realising it. Not everyone who asks has some kind of disability.

I was asked when I was getting my miscarriage confirmed if I had other children. Not a stupid question she was just enquiring as to wether it was my 1st pregnancy or not.