Page 14 | To wonder what stupid questions you've been asked

violetbunny · 10/12/2021 21:57

We have an IT Helpdesk at work, you can either call them on the phone for help or log a request on our intranet (only accessible via a work computer) and someone in the IT team will call you back.

One day my password inexplicably stopped working so I couldn't log into my work laptop. Called the helpline number and explained the situation and that I was unable to log in, and the first thing they asked me was, "Have you logged a request on the intranet?"

violetbunny · 10/12/2021 22:01

Oh and another one...

Me: "I'm off for a haircut, I'll be back in a few hours."
DP: "Oh ok. Are you getting it cut longer or shorter?"
Me: "Er.... Longer!"
DP: "Huh?"

bloodynamechangethe3rd · 10/12/2021 22:12

@backtolifebacktoreality

Last weekend I phoned a local florists and asked them to send some flowers to a nearby friend.

The friend lives in a relatively small cul de sac. The florist obviously asked the address for them to be delivered to. I advised they lived at No 12.

She then went on asking all sorts of questions about how she could find the house once in the street, ie what side of the road etc. She then asked questions about what would make the house recognisable to her, ie what colour front door.

I had to bite my lip but really wanted to respond "the fact that is has the number 12 on the door"!

"Are they all yours" about my kids, I've started saying "yeah, I used to have more but I keep misplacing them.." old ladies DO NOT like that.

lesenfantsdelesperance · 10/12/2021 22:25

@MissAmbrosia that's a weird response you gave. How old are you? Surely a teenager would be used to showing ID, so the teenagers would have their, a 50 year old probably wouldn't think to. I'm not 50 but I'm way past the years where I expect to be challenged and might easily have not thought to bring any ID.

Lopoem · 10/12/2021 22:29

I got asked if my nearly 6 year old and 3 year old were twins. For context my nearly 6 year old is on the tall side (75th percentile for height) and very grown up for her age. My 3 year old is on the short side (25th percentile for height) and still very baby faced. The lady who asked had been serving us in a food pub for the duration of a meal and we were all stood up and walking out at the time. I was very confused!

Mummyto2rugrats · 10/12/2021 22:30

@DrierThanANunsNasty. Yep had that I'm 2 years into the journey of trying to get to the bottom of the pain which yes Mr gynecologists is constant but gets worse when I ovulate or am on my period and no I know my body and this and loosing 240ml every month is not normal or just in my head.

My favourite bit was him saying that don't worry you only have about 10 years longer then it will probably stop ! Oh OK then that's fine every day I'll come in stab you wiggle it about and say don't worry just another day tomorrow for the next 10 years and leave until the next day !

LouBan · 10/12/2021 22:34

We shared a flat with a friend of ours and the contract for the TV and Internet was in his name. He very sadly passed away unexpectedly and we called to tell them and therefore the account must be closed. Over and over again they said they couldn't do anything without speaking to the account holder. We kept trying to tell them he was dead and they wouldn't accept it.

Montypi · 10/12/2021 22:54

Speaking as a florist, you’d be amazed how many stupid questions we get from customers. Including “will these flowers last without water, in my car in December for 3 days” Definitely no. Favourites though were also asking to deliver to an address that you can’t miss because it has a blue door on a mile long road and they don’t know the house number. I’d say cut the florist some slack on their busiest month of the year and be grateful that they’re obviously doing their best to make sure your delivery goes without a hitch.

mizzundastood · 10/12/2021 23:18

The surname is Orange.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 10/12/2021 23:32

As far as questions like belonging to a terrorist organization or witnessing criminal activity etc, I used to conduct various interviews on behalf of the US Govt (not immigration/social services) that often included questions that one might think 'self-incriminating', sometimes intentional, sometimes routine. You'd be surprised at the number of people who, because of nerves or fear, would blurt out the truth.

As well as trying to psych out the uncertain and trick the very dim into admission, I think they probably also do it as a way of securing their case if it later comes to arrest and subsequent sentencing. Some of the brazen ones, once caught, might try to claim mitigating circumstances or feign ignorance, along the lines of "Well, you didn't ask me if I was a terrorist" or "I didn't know terrorism was illegal in the US". At least having already asked them the 'stupid' question and having their denial on record, it can only strengthen their case in securing the conviction and/or a longer sentence, for the few who do turn out to be guilty.

OnGoldenPond · 10/12/2021 23:49

@twoshedsjackson

When travelling to the USA, I'm always puzzled by the question on the form filled in during the journey, asking if you belong to a terrorist organization. Would anybody actually admit to this if they were? (on a choir tour, we had to remind the teenage boys not to give facetious answers to this, and border guards may not share their idea of a joke......)

There used to be a question on the US visa application "Do you intend to undermine the constitution of the United States of America?" Gilbert Harding famously responded "sole purpose of visit." No other possible answer really!

Mirw · 10/12/2021 23:49

@SweetestThing

I've lost count of the number of times people have seen me write and they ask "Oh, are you left-handed?". Well, obviously!

Nope. I am ambidextrous is my usual answer. Blank look and they go away.

Barney60 · 10/12/2021 23:53

LOL at these, love them.

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2021 00:00

@Namechangedididittoo

Spoke to local council after Fil passed away lady says “well he will still need to fill in the forms” I said “he’s died” she replied “well he’s still going to have to fill in the form” After several minutes of this i told her if he definitely has to fill them out best she sends them to the undertakers see if they can get him to do it before the funeral

That's insane!

Did she eventually understand what "dead" means?

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2021 00:03

@LouBan

We shared a flat with a friend of ours and the contract for the TV and Internet was in his name. He very sadly passed away unexpectedly and we called to tell them and therefore the account must be closed. Over and over again they said they couldn't do anything without speaking to the account holder. We kept trying to tell them he was dead and they wouldn't accept it.

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard similar stories. It's astounding. Did they accept it in the end or did you have to get someone to come on the line pretending to be your deceased flatmate and say to them "Yes, you can close the account, I'm definitely dead"?

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 11/12/2021 00:10

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

As far as questions like belonging to a terrorist organization or witnessing criminal activity etc, I used to conduct various interviews on behalf of the US Govt (not immigration/social services) that often included questions that one might think 'self-incriminating', sometimes intentional, sometimes routine. You'd be surprised at the number of people who, because of nerves or fear, would blurt out the truth.

As well as trying to psych out the uncertain and trick the very dim into admission, I think they probably also do it as a way of securing their case if it later comes to arrest and subsequent sentencing. Some of the brazen ones, once caught, might try to claim mitigating circumstances or feign ignorance, along the lines of "Well, you didn't ask me if I was a terrorist" or "I didn't know terrorism was illegal in the US". At least having already asked them the 'stupid' question and having their denial on record, it can only strengthen their case in securing the conviction and/or a longer sentence, for the few who do turn out to be guilty.

Or "That group is legally allowed in my country!"- as I assume the USA means any group which is proscribed by their laws, not the laws in that persons country of origin.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 11/12/2021 00:16

I was once asked if I wore glasses, while I was actually wearing my glasses.

I said no.

Angie1403 · 11/12/2021 01:09

@FatOaf

“What’s the author’s name?” from a bookshop employee when I asked to order The Diary Of Anne Frank.

You've obviously never read The Autobiography of Alice B Toklas by Gertrude Stein.

Obviously…

Saracen · 11/12/2021 01:20

@timestheyarechanging

Oh and this one was me! In my defence I was 17 and studying the highway code for my theory driving test. I learnt that non English speaking people could have an interpreter at their test (or the software could be adapted) Great. I then asked my to-be in-laws and his extended family: 'Does that mean that a visually impaired person can do the test in Braille or aural only, I hope so?' Fortunately they just laughed but sadly I wasn't joking! Took me a while to realise what I'd stupidly said.

I went to school in the US, in a state which required all 15yos to learn driver education at school. This included my friend, who was totally blind.

The teacher was supposed to teach her the standard curriculum. Fortunately he had some sense and instead taught her road awareness suitable for a pedestrian. For example, she learned where would be the safest place to cross the road where she would be most visible to drivers.

bedheadedzombie · 11/12/2021 01:30

@HaaaaaveyoumetTed

I can assure you it’s only spelled one way. I should know after 50 years of being it.

I can only assume it's Blue. I can't think of another common, 1 syllable colour that couldn't on hearing it be spelt another way (red, on hearing could be Read). Or beige.

Blew?

repottingthescabious · 11/12/2021 02:04

Black?

Idontbloodyknow · 11/12/2021 02:04

Wanting some fresh not frozen fish on holiday I said before going in the restaurant do you do fish? She replied Yes we have this n that and calamari, I interrupt "is it real calamari?" withering look and in a very slow sarcastic tone "no it's plastic"

MollyBloomYes · 11/12/2021 03:10

At school we had to initial and surname a fairly important teacher led assessment. Not to be sent off to the exam board but part of a practical element of coursework. My name begins with one letter but I am always known by a shortened version which begins with a different one (Think Margaret and Peggy) so I asked the teacher which initial I should put.

Classmate overhears and pipes up 'yeah me too Miss, my full name's 'Louise' but I'm known as 'Lou' which initial should I put?'.

I hear she's done very well for herself these days

PyjamaMuddleduck · 11/12/2021 03:26

Do you have children? By the sonography looking for retained products of conception after my missed miscarriage

SonicBroom · 11/12/2021 03:50

Have you thought about why you’re asking that question?

In relation to looking for data / research in my case. Makes my absolute blood boil.

Can you think of a way to improve what you’ve done here?

No as if I’d known it was shit I wouldn’t have done it. But you can obviously think of something so why don’t you just crack on and tell me so we can all see how superior you are!