Loads of Veggies and Massive Salad

[HangingDitch]

I find people saying they had “loads of veggies” or “massive salad” with their meal irrationally irritating. Not the fact they had vegetables or a salad, just the phrases.

I am being unreasonable, aren’t I?

YANBU Op. And of course their DC just love these veggies and massive salads, can't get enough of them, just hoover them up.

Yes, food is never eaten by their DC, especially the teenage ones, it is always hoovered or inhaled, puts me in mind of a Chimps Tea Party.

The utter wankery on any MN thread to do with food is off the scale.

@HangingDitch

With salads it’s more that they always seem to be massive. No one ever has a modest salad, or a small salad, or (my personal favourite) an arbitrary salad.

I love an arbitrary salad T exactly what we call a salad made from all sorts of random fruit/veg/nuts/whatever.

Yes if winter British fruit and vegetables (salad or otherwise) tasted like they do in France (or indeed anywhere else with a warmer climate) I would be well within my BMI.

Et hem.

I say veggies.
I call squash "squish"
Satsumas are satsumies
Passion fruit = passion poop.

There'll be more I can't remember off the top of my head but that should be enough to froth over

I didn’t get past “Et hem” to see the rest of your crimes tbh

Sad person I am, I think naice ham originated from someone reading it spelt that way from someone else's discarded shopping list though happy to be corrected by those who've been around longer than me.

@DottyHarmer

do you mean in the Waitrose newspaper thing? I read it in disbelief: Breakfast - cup of hot water Snack - ten nuts Lunch - massive salad of quinoa and pomegranate seeds Snack -another ten nuts Dinner - masses of organic veggies and a line-caught minnow, all washed down with celeriac juice and three gallons of water. Smug nutritionist: “1 out of 5. You need more salad and vegetables and should be drinking 20 gallons of water a day.”

Oh THANK GOD, there’s someone who feels the same way about that column. I read it every week, knowing I’m going to be absolutely infuriated by the wretched woman’s obsession with starchy carbs and sanctimonious warnings about how even thinking about a small glass of wine can easily creep up to mainlining White Lightening in the local park.

She must be a joy at parties.

Et hem.

Dolores Umbridge, is that you?

I’m sure you’re right, Zilla1 - I just remember years ago a big barney over a kid’s party tea in which the OP complained about the lack of nice ham on offer. (Idiot)

Can I also suggest the word “pop” for the food waste bin? As in “just pop it in the oven” or “I just pop some into dc’s lunchbox”. Always said about something highly complicated or a pain to produce, eg a homemade spelt samosa with a jackfruit filling which they rustle up of a morning to “pop” in their dc’s lunchbox. Of course their dcs always love this stuff and never, ever covet another kid’s Dairylea Lunchables.

The word veggies really annoys me

Along with 'huge salad' I also grit my teeth at:

Cauli
Spuds
Pots
Toms

Just. Fuck. Off. with your middle class wankery.

@DottyHarmer I was thinking of Closer magazine. I chuck the Waitrose paper in the recycling. I don’t read Closer anymore before I’m banned from mumsnet. Oh the shame

It is annoying though, and obviously fake.

@Zilla1 you are correct. It was a shopping list.

I think 'big slabs of...' is wank too... or 'thick sliced' whatever.

But then again I find people who talk about 'padding about in thick socks' really annoying too.

Maybe it's me... 🥲

@DottyHarmer

I think the “naice ham” thing originated because of a poster saying what they provided at a kid’s party. As opposed to that Billy the Bear stuff, I think. Do they even have that still?! My dog loved crap ham! Crap luncheon meat even better!

Wasn't it a shopping list a poster found in a supermarket? It said "nice ham" and there was a discussion about whether the person who lost it was a fellow mc MNer and what actually constituted "nice ham". It gradually morphed into "naice".

@hotmeatymilk

Just wandered onto another thread with a sandwich in it involving “good nice thick ham”, rushed straight back here for a palate cleanser. No one ever says “crap supermarket basics mostly water reconstituted ‘ham’-style meat slices”, do they?

I made the mistake of looking

There's even the "yum" there too

Inspired by the “shopping list” threads, dsis and I compiled a fake one which we pinned prominently to the holder in a (of course) Waitrose trolley:

Anusol
Immodium
Wet toilet wipes
Loo rolls (multipack)
Domestos

Tee hee

Can I also suggest the word “pop” for the food waste bin? As in “just pop it in the oven”

Agree, it can join bung, throw and chuck their kitchens must look like a war zone with all that food being flung about.

Plate up. What the hell kind of image is that?
Picky bits.
Massive salad. No one likes salads.
Heart and nutritious - does no one enjoy a plate of chicken dippers anymore?

@user1471541711

Plate up. What the hell kind of image is that? Picky bits. Massive salad. No one likes salads. Heart and nutritious - does no one enjoy a plate of chicken dippers anymore?

I love salad! I do also love chicken dippers with smiley faces and beans

'Massive salad' is just bragging as in 'look how much salad I am consuming, I must be an outstanding person'.
I've only ever seen it on MN - its never listed as an item on restaurant menus ('green salad, Italian salad, Massive salad'). It also carefully skirts over the actual ingredients. To me a salad is a selection of mostly cold ingredients slung together including some sort of green stuff.
I have main meal salads - but they usually contain plenty of filling ingredients - halloumi, nuts, chunk of bread etc. I never refer to them as massive salads. Massive anything is an OTT meal.

And how many vegetable is loads? does it have to be all different vegetables or could it be 5 kg of broccoli? How much veg has to be on your plate before you realise you are a rodent or a horse ?

I also can't stand 'heaping' as in 'and a heaping tablespoon of [whatever food].

Veggies makes me cringe. DH want veggies on sunday, they're vegetables the rest of the week.

@IntermittentParps

I also can't stand 'heaping' as in 'and a heaping tablespoon of [whatever food].

It should be 'heaped' - that's a normal description. Level, rounded, heaped. 'Heaping' makes no sense.

ErrolTheDragon, I know! I think that's why it gets up my nose. It's not an -ing!

No you are not OP. I know of someone who always says how much they love their veg, then run through what they had. I'm dying to say "Well you wouldn't know it". Also how their kids love fruit & veg, & will go for that before sweets. No one likes fruit or veg, they just think that it sounds good to say that they do.