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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DM if we can bring dog

105 replies

Jazzy1000 · 08/12/2021 21:32

My parents have a holiday house and kindly offer us a few days here and there when they're not using it. We got a dog last year and they said they'd prefer we didn't have her in holiday house so we put her into kennels last summer when we stayed.

They offered us another few days over Christmas - aibu to ask could we bring dog? We hate putting her in kennels so it kind of takes the good out of outting.

For context she's a non shed small whippet, never has accident s etc. The house is well worn in. My parents always had dogs themselves til a few years ago which they always had staying in same house. In fact they used to assume we d take care of their dog for weeks on end when our kids were small and we lived in apartment, it was really inconvenient but I never complained.

Aibu to ask is there any chance we could bring doggie with us this time?

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 08/12/2021 23:08

Just decline the offer and say it's because you don't feel comfortable putting the dog in kennels again.

They may then backtrack and allow the dog to stay, but it not you haven't had to ask and look rude.

BehindTheFridge · 08/12/2021 23:12

Maybe if they've had dogs in the house before, that's why they don't want any more in there.

Briony123 · 08/12/2021 23:14

Decline gracefully and say that the dog is part of your family. They will either accept that you can't go or say the dog can go as well. Please don't holiday in the UK without your dog (unless going to central London), it's just too sad.

Polmuggle · 08/12/2021 23:25

Do you know why they don't want the dog there?

Aquamarine1029 · 08/12/2021 23:30

They don't want your dog in their holiday home, of course you'd be unreasonable to ask.

Elieza · 09/12/2021 00:08

Your dog was just new before and you didn’t know how it would behave. They were probably worried about accidents etc.

Now you’ve had it a while you can reassure her that it’s well trained and leaves no mess or dander.

And see what she says. I’d decline the holiday with good grace if I couldnt take my furry friend with me.

Anordinarymum · 09/12/2021 00:52

If you say no and it's specifically because of the dog they may think you are using emotional blackmail.

Just say no thanks. If they ask why then you can tell them. If it were me I would not ask more than once no matter what has been done by anyone in the past.
My dog comes with me everywhere. She is part of the deal. People know this.

Andylion · 09/12/2021 01:17

My parents always had dogs themselves til a few years ago which they always had staying in same house. In fact they used to assume we d take care of their dog for weeks on end when our kids were small and we lived in apartment, it was really inconvenient but I never complained.

Ask your DM if she will take care of your dog, just as you used to take care of hers.

ilovesooty · 09/12/2021 01:24

If they've already said no I don't think you should ask again really. I think you'll have to decline , explaining that you can't leave the dog.

Blossom64265 · 09/12/2021 01:28

They already told you they didn’t want the dog there. It would be rude to ask them to reconsider.

WomanStanleyWoman · 09/12/2021 02:04

Before you even asked about bringing the dog, they said ‘Please don’t bring the dog’. It seems pretty clear to me that it’s a no on dogs.

ClaudiaJ1 · 09/12/2021 02:06

What is it with dog people needing to drag their dog with them if they go out for longer than 2 hours? Leave the dog at home and get a neighbour or friend to pop and feed the dog, or take it to a kennel or find a pet sitter. I don't drag my cat with me when I go away for 3 days.

ClaudiaJ1 · 09/12/2021 02:06

*pop over

TedMullins · 09/12/2021 02:44

Of course you can ask (and even argue if they say no). It’s your parents! Does everyone here have really formal distant relationships with their parents or something? When I got a dog I just pitched up to visit my parents with said dog. What are they going to do, throw me out?

Sally872 · 09/12/2021 02:54

They've already answered the question though . Rude to ask.

KosherDill · 09/12/2021 02:57

I would just say "Thanks ever so but we can't leave the dog."

Ball in their court, then.

whiteroseredrose · 09/12/2021 04:02

I'd also say thank you for the offer but we don't want to be parted from Ddog.

GrandmasCat · 09/12/2021 04:10

Do they rent the property out as a holiday let? If so, do they advertise it as pet free?

If so, it would be wrong to let you bring the dog as people renting pet free properties often do so because they are allergic to dogs/cats. They may not want to risk a bad review because someone ended up having a ruined holiday due to a bad asthma attack or a proper rash caused by dandruff left by a dog in a “pet free” property.

It is not all about lifting a leg and destructive behaviour.

Medievalist · 09/12/2021 04:42

Of course it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask. These are your parents for goodness sake!

swissmummy12345 · 09/12/2021 04:48

Another entitled dog owner. Shock, horror, not everyone likes dogs! They've already said no dogs, what part of that is so complicated to understand?

Medievalist · 09/12/2021 06:21

Another entitled dog owner. Shock, horror, not everyone likes dogs! They've already said no dogs, what part of that is so complicated to understand?

Well the op's parents always had dogs until a few years ago - so presumably they do like them?

If this was anyone other than the op's parents I'd agree she should take no for an answer. But her own mum and dad? Surely there's no harm in double-checking?

CloudyStorms · 09/12/2021 06:25

Just ask if it's still no dogs. It's not that big a deal to ask just don't make a massive fuss over it and accept it when they say no.

MoonCowbag · 09/12/2021 06:43

Presumably, as they are your parents, they told you why no dog? Seems strange to me so I'd probably have a chat about it. It does potentially seem a bit unreasonable on your DPs part, if you were their go-to dog sitter in days gone by!

Or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, just decline and say you don't want to leave dog out.

I wouldn't be happy leaving my (theoretical as we don't have her yet Grin) dog over the Christmas period if there was another option.

CloudyStorms · 09/12/2021 06:49

It's not really strange they don't like dog smell everywhere

Practicebeingpatient · 09/12/2021 06:49

@LawnFever

Yeah ask, weird that they’ve had dogs in the past and have suddenly taken against the idea - unless your dog was a crazy destructive puppy which it doesn’t sound like it is!
It doesn't seem weird to me. I've had cats in the past. I loved them but there is no doubt they took their toll on the house with moulting, scratching and towards the end of their lives, stress incontinence. When they died I replaced the damaged carpets and woodwork and bought new settees. Friends with allergies can visit without having to dose up on antihistamines. I can quite understand the OPs parents trying to keep their holiday home pet free. .