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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheap brother-in-law?

52 replies

learieonthewildmoor · 07/12/2021 11:40

My bil got me in the family Christmas draw. We have a £50 limit. He just texted me asking me to pay the postage on my present because it goes £15 over the limit.
Next year do I ask for a £35 present to account for possible postage and wrapping?

Is he being cheap?

OP posts:
Jacaranda75 · 07/12/2021 11:41

Oh wow. That is shockingly tight of him. Cannot bear meanness.

askingforafriend80 · 07/12/2021 11:41

He’s a dick

Sparklfairy · 07/12/2021 11:41

Did you choose the present or did he?

fizzfridays · 07/12/2021 11:42

I would spend up to the limit in total inc postage, but I also wouldn't then ask for the recipient to pay the extra! Can he not just choose something within the budget?

MangoBiscuit · 07/12/2021 11:42

What the hell is he sending that costs £15 to post?!

LuluBlakey1 · 07/12/2021 11:42

Just text back 'No'

5keletor · 07/12/2021 11:44

Yanbu, if he doesn't want to pay extra for postage, he needs to find something that is £50 or less including postage.

LuluBlakey1 · 07/12/2021 11:45

@MangoBiscuit

What the hell is he sending that costs £15 to post?!
Royal Mail asked me for £8.something to send a normal card and gift card in one envelope, tracked to Ireland last week.
phoenixrosehere · 07/12/2021 11:46

Cheap, no. Ridiculous, yes.

It was his choice to choose a gift over the limit, not yours so why would he think it’s on you to sort.

I’d text him:

“£50 max included shipping and I can’t wait to see it. Thank You

Velvian · 07/12/2021 11:48

He should order it online and get it delivered to you, or send via Hermes if Royal Mail/Parcelforce is too expensive.

PleasantBirthday · 07/12/2021 11:48

I don't know why this says regifted paperweight to me.

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2021 11:49

Who chose the gift?

Original poster
learieonthewildmoor · 07/12/2021 11:52

He asked me what I wanted and I told him a gift that was £50. Express shipping is £15, he says.

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 07/12/2021 11:57

You chose a gift at the max of the spend limit, knowing he'd have to account for postage etc.

Bit rude of you.

I'd tell you to collect it.

ManicPixie · 07/12/2021 12:00

Cheeky AF. Just text back 'oh if it's that much don't worry, you can keep it.'

BusterGonad · 07/12/2021 12:04

Why isn't he getting it delivered to his house? Why does it need to be express delivery it's only the 7th of December!

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2021 12:16

Why does it need express shipped?

ChimChimeny · 07/12/2021 12:17

Why does it need to be express delivery it's only the 7th of December!

Exactly! I would happily wait until after Christmas to receive it if he spent less on postage & I didn't have to pay

Trisolaris · 07/12/2021 12:19

Your update makes it a bit cheeky of you though if the budget was £50. You knew he would have to spend more than that to get it to you.

mugoftea456 · 07/12/2021 12:23

I think you were cheeky to choose such an expensive gift. He shouldnt have to spend £65 when the MAX is £50

TempName01 · 07/12/2021 12:23

Woah hang on your update changes things, you can’t have the item you have asked for then, he is being kind asking if you are prepared to pay the extra to get the gift you want otherwise choose something in budget!

Sexnotgender · 07/12/2021 12:26

@TempName01

Woah hang on your update changes things, you can’t have the item you have asked for then, he is being kind asking if you are prepared to pay the extra to get the gift you want otherwise choose something in budget!
Exactly this. Though probably only slightly over budget if normal shipping is used I imagine.
BlusteringBoobies · 07/12/2021 12:29

Yup, agree with PP. In our secret santa we include any significant postage costs. I would never ask for something that maxes out the budget if I could also see that postage was another 30% on top. A few quid is ok but £15 over is excessive

I would either pick something in budget including postage or offer to pay the difference. It's not a small amount over!

girlmom21 · 07/12/2021 12:29

@learieonthewildmoor

He asked me what I wanted and I told him a gift that was £50. Express shipping is £15, he says.
You asked for something knowing he would need to pay postage that would take him over the limit. Of course you should pay the difference.
WhenSepEnds · 07/12/2021 12:32

I can see why you left that out in the original post 😂😂😂😂

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