Giving your bits a spritz…

[SpicedGin]

Chatting to a friend this evening and I mentioned that as part of my ‘going out routine’ I’ll spray perfume on my hair, clothes and wrists but I’ll also give ‘my bits a spritz’ that is I’ll spray my clothes ‘down there’
She was horrified but my husband is always amused at that!
So, do you spritz your bits or not?

Yes: I am not unreasonable and I do this
No: You are an tart and this is not acceptable

[CheeseMmmm]

@Onatree

The OP wants a thread to make the classics. Bit of a fail.

Never forgetting there are other motivations for late night fanny threads.

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

The blokes who coated genitals in Deep Heat ALWAYS pulled. Just FYI to any posters who might find that advice useful.

[ShirleyPhallus]

Mumsnet is so weird. Half full of pearl clutching about absolutely nothing then the other half wanting to share stories of stinky fannies / pooing themselves / having wees in inappropriate places.

[foreverandalways]

Absolutely x

[PooWillyNameChange]

No I don't. I think it's fine if that's what makes you feel comfortable but you do sound like one of the people who makes me dry heave on a morning when they fog me with their perfume. A bit on the wrists and neck is fine, so that anyone who gets close can smell a scent. It sounds like you use a lot.

[Alonelonelylonersbadidea]

@ShirleyPhallus

Mumsnet is so weird. Half full of pearl clutching about absolutely nothing then the other half wanting to share stories of stinky fannies / pooing themselves / having wees in inappropriate places.

I'm laughing so hard
I just wet myself.

WTAF OP. What is wrong with you and your privates??

[RealBecca]

Are you Jay from the inbetweeners?!

[Kanaloa]

@Joystir59

This used to be a thing we did, also to dab vaginal juice behind the ears and then spray perfume there

I feel like my brain just short circuited. Did you put hair gel on your feet and nail polish on your eyelids?

[CounsellorTroi]

I’m horrified at the idea of squirting perfume anywhere near my bits.

[Bobsyer]

I was once accosted by a perfume lady in a Canadian department store who told me I should spray my pulse points and my crotch area.

I don’t, but it is a thing!

[QueenofKattegat]

@NowEvenBetter

Oh cool, another thread getting women to share hilarious anecdotes about their stinking fannies? Nah, you’re alright cheers.

Quite.

They've got 3 pages out of it though so should be..."there"...quite soon.

[Nasturs]

You sound very feminine OP.

[EBearhug]

No! I once spilled perfume down there by accident, and I am most certainly not deliberately putting any there after that stinging experience.

[luckylavender]

No, it's not very good for you to spray down there

[furbabymama87]

No. Unless you proper stink of fish down there why are spraying perfume on your fanny?

[TeeBee]

Errrr, no. I wash mine instead.

[Ozanj]

I do but only when I’m wearing something tight like leggings or skinny jeans

[Suzi888]

@PolkadotsAndMoonbeams

Well, Coco Chanel did say you should apply perfume "Wherever one wants to be kissed." but I'm not entirely sure that was where she had in mind.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙂

[simpledeer]

I am confused.

Surely you risk walking around with spray marks all down the front of your dress - like you have pissed yourself?

[NewlyGranny]

Your vagina and vulva are lined with mucous membranes, so should not be sprayed with anything you wouldn't put in your mouth or eyes!

Your vagina is self-cleaning, so anything you do beyond gentle soap and water externally could cause an imbalance in the natural flora and end up giving you thrush or a bacterial infection.

Sadly, there is a whole advertising industry out there working to convince girls and women that we are vile and stinky unless we spend a fortune on nasty, unnecessary products. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[NewlyGranny]

Oh, and I'm pretty sure Coco Chanel did indeed want women to spritz their bits, but that doesn't make it a good idea!

[Titsywoo]

Are people understanding the OP means she sprays on her clothes around the crotch area not on her bare skin? Honestly read the OP properly.

I do it too OP - probably because I have stress incontinence and worry I might smell a bit even though I am adequately 'protected' down there!

[simpledeer]

@NewlyGranny I think OP is saying she sprays the perfume over the top of her clothes in the fanjo area. Not her actual vulva or vagina.

Still bloody odd though!! Like I said upthread - surely there's a risk of spatter looking like you pissed yourself

[HarrisMcCoo]

Eh...no.

[luverlybubberly]

I don't do it. Might change my knickers to feel fresh. When you spritz there is it because you might have sex later ?