Giving your bits a spritz…

[SpicedGin]

Chatting to a friend this evening and I mentioned that as part of my ‘going out routine’ I’ll spray perfume on my hair, clothes and wrists but I’ll also give ‘my bits a spritz’ that is I’ll spray my clothes ‘down there’
She was horrified but my husband is always amused at that!
So, do you spritz your bits or not?

Yes: I am not unreasonable and I do this
No: You are an tart and this is not acceptable

@Onatree

The OP wants a thread to make the classics. Bit of a fail.

Never forgetting there are other motivations for late night fanny threads.

The blokes who coated genitals in Deep Heat ALWAYS pulled. Just FYI to any posters who might find that advice useful.

Mumsnet is so weird. Half full of pearl clutching about absolutely nothing then the other half wanting to share stories of stinky fannies / pooing themselves / having wees in inappropriate places.

Absolutely x

No I don't. I think it's fine if that's what makes you feel comfortable but you do sound like one of the people who makes me dry heave on a morning when they fog me with their perfume. A bit on the wrists and neck is fine, so that anyone who gets close can smell a scent. It sounds like you use a lot.

@ShirleyPhallus

Mumsnet is so weird. Half full of pearl clutching about absolutely nothing then the other half wanting to share stories of stinky fannies / pooing themselves / having wees in inappropriate places.

I'm laughing so hard I just wet myself.

WTAF OP. What is wrong with you and your privates??

Are you Jay from the inbetweeners?!

@Joystir59

This used to be a thing we did, also to dab vaginal juice behind the ears and then spray perfume there

I feel like my brain just short circuited. Did you put hair gel on your feet and nail polish on your eyelids?

I’m horrified at the idea of squirting perfume anywhere near my bits.

I was once accosted by a perfume lady in a Canadian department store who told me I should spray my pulse points and my crotch area.

I don’t, but it is a thing!

@NowEvenBetter

Oh cool, another thread getting women to share hilarious anecdotes about their stinking fannies? Nah, you’re alright cheers.

Quite.

They've got 3 pages out of it though so should be..."there"...quite soon.

You sound very feminine OP.

No! I once spilled perfume down there by accident, and I am most certainly not deliberately putting any there after that stinging experience.

No, it's not very good for you to spray down there

No. Unless you proper stink of fish down there why are spraying perfume on your fanny?

Errrr, no. I wash mine instead.

I do but only when I’m wearing something tight like leggings or skinny jeans

@PolkadotsAndMoonbeams

Well, Coco Chanel did say you should apply perfume "Wherever one wants to be kissed." but I'm not entirely sure that was where she had in mind.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙂

I am confused.

Surely you risk walking around with spray marks all down the front of your dress - like you have pissed yourself?

Your vagina and vulva are lined with mucous membranes, so should not be sprayed with anything you wouldn't put in your mouth or eyes!

Your vagina is self-cleaning, so anything you do beyond gentle soap and water externally could cause an imbalance in the natural flora and end up giving you thrush or a bacterial infection.

Sadly, there is a whole advertising industry out there working to convince girls and women that we are vile and stinky unless we spend a fortune on nasty, unnecessary products. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh, and I'm pretty sure Coco Chanel did indeed want women to spritz their bits, but that doesn't make it a good idea!

Are people understanding the OP means she sprays on her clothes around the crotch area not on her bare skin? Honestly read the OP properly.

I do it too OP - probably because I have stress incontinence and worry I might smell a bit even though I am adequately 'protected' down there!

@NewlyGranny I think OP is saying she sprays the perfume over the top of her clothes in the fanjo area. Not her actual vulva or vagina.

Still bloody odd though!! Like I said upthread - surely there's a risk of spatter looking like you pissed yourself

Eh...no.

I don't do it. Might change my knickers to feel fresh. When you spritz there is it because you might have sex later ?