To ask for your autocorrect fails

[LadyCampanulaTottington]

My stupid phone keeps autocorrecting in to on. We’re on town. I am on the shower. Are you on work. Grrrr. Every time, even if it makes zero sense in the sentence.

Tea becomes yea (WHY APPLE, WHY) and it doesn’t seem to know the word women’s. It comes up with a red line 🧐 It becomes if but randomly.

Please tell me I am not the only soul tormented by stupid autocorrect? For reference I’m on an iPhone 11 Pro Max.

Before I get hung drawn and quartered. AIBU to stop using autocorrect?

Mine phone insists I am on a team when I am on a tram. I have never been on a team for anything!!
Outlook helpfully once corrected wellies to willies on a work email

I told a friend I was going for lunch a couple of weeks ago. She asked me where I was going nude

I was chatting to O2 on thier chat service, about my lack of phone network.
I typed - I have full bars ....but it autocorrected to I have full balls . I'm a middle aged women and couldn't stop laughing

Autocorrect called my senior client Brain, his name is Brian...

🤦‍♀️

Pressed too soon...

Autocorrect called my senior client Brain in an email addressed to him with 20 people in copy, his name is Brian...

🤦‍♀️

I was texting a friend and I mentioned that a mutual friend’s husband is an architect, but it autocorrected to say he’s an Archbishop Quite a job change.

I used to have a job where I was responsible for issuing car parking passes for the site, there were long waiting lists for people to get car passes for certain areas. I once sent an e-mail to a man offering him a pass for a Cat Parking Space, I didn't realise until he replied thanking me very much for offering his cat a parking permit but sadly the cat could not be trusted to drive so could he have the permit instead?!

@emmathedilemma

Mine phone insists I am on a team when I am on a tram. I have never been on a team for anything!! Outlook helpfully once corrected wellies to willies on a work email

I had the same with Outlook! I was arranging a work volunteer day at a city farm and asked if we needed to bring wellies, except that wasn't quite what I asked. Thankfully the lady saw the funny side

A work email translated Mr Gresham to Mr Gruesome!

I once signed off a work email with the name of a sexually transmitted disease rather than my own name 🙈

Back in the days when texting meant repeatedly pressing the number keys to get the letter you wanted, my phone helpfully decided to "correct" the word "paper" to instead say "rapes" which is obviously much more likely to be used in everyday conversation.

I had to laugh that even your phone no longer recognises the word "women's"

I tried to tell a friend I was gobsmacked and it was turned in to hibsmackered…tbh, we like it so much we now use that as a word and I nearly used it to my boss!

@DisappearingGirl

I had to laugh that even your phone no longer recognises the word "women's"

It wasn’t lost on me either!!

Sorry for the incontinence

When autocorrect on typewriters was new, I sent a letter to the Chief Rabbi which said, “I am writing to you about your penis.” It should have been ‘pension’. I only spotted it when I was filing the photocopy. Oh the shame.

My phone often decides it knows better than me as well; not in a funny way but in the same way you describe op: on/in, but/bit/buy, not/nit etc etc. It makes me look like an idiot and it does my head in!

It's not so much autocorrect as a typo but I routinely type "retards, Alfonso" rather than "regards, Alfonso". It is mortifying.

My phone changes jeans to Jean's every single time. So a friend asks me what I'm wearing to the pub - black top and Jean's. Or I ask dh if he wants his Jean's washing. Highly irritating.

DH once sent a text which was meant to read: 'Sorry, can I call back later? Rhubarb's parents have just left and I'm exhausted'. Unfortunately 'parents' got autocorrected to 'pants'...

It changes mu daughters name to Islam. I recieve many messages about Islam. It changes our surname as well...

I received some surprise flowers for my birthday.

Texted my thanks with the phrase "thank you they were most unexpected".

Which corrected to ". . . most inexpensive".

I caught it in time but had hot and cold moments for a few days at how nearly I sent it.

Mine changes my daughters name to Beyonce. The first letter is the same, the rest is totally different. It also doesn't like the word she and changes it to ages.

@december2020

Autocorrect called my senior client Brain, his name is Brian...

🤦‍♀️

Tbf, my husband's called Brian and my kindle does it too.

Actually kindles are the worst. Two letter words the vowels are always switched. Does my head in.