Worst dinner conversation

Greydove28 · 2021-12-05T19:11:12+00:00

Was out for Christmas dinner Friday when one of the guests started an in-depth conversation about their daughter having the shits for a month while we were all eating. What's the worst dinner conversation you have been party to? [confused]

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 05/12/2021 19:13

Ils over for tea. Very fuddy fuddy.
Ds announced he had found his first pubic hairs..
Mil went a shade of white I am sure..
On the plus side they didn't stay long!!

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 05/12/2021 19:15

My in-laws are pretentious AF and are known for randomly starting to start conversations in French at the table.

It feels deliberately excluding…

That’s the worst for me.

Comedycook · 05/12/2021 19:16

A guy who piped up over dinner "who of us here are on six figure salaries then?"

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 05/12/2021 19:16

There was a story on here YEARS ago where a DC has done their first pop in the toilet and for some reason decided to present it to their grandma on a bed of cotton wool during a relatively formal dinner.

Not a conversation but not all communication is verbal…

BigYellowHat · 05/12/2021 19:17

DS was about 5 and announced loudly that when he was at the carol concert every time he looked at ‘Jessica’ his willy went stiff. DH tried to shush him whilst all our guests sniggered but it only made him say it louder 😂

ShirleyPhallus · 05/12/2021 19:18

If someone started talking to me about poo over dinner I’d change the subject and tell them I was doing so

The worst for me was someone who talked about football the whole of dinner. I was polite enough to vaguely listen and at the end he asked if I wanted to join him because I seemed so interested. I hate football. I was being polite

JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 05/12/2021 19:19

Not a conversation, rather lack of. I went to a dinner party with DH and once the others found out I didn't go to a Russell group university they all ignored me for the rest of the evening.

HangingDitch · 05/12/2021 19:29

@Comedycook

A guy who piped up over dinner "who of us here are on six figure salaries then?"

I’d have said “Yes me” and then “Hang on, we are including the pence aren’t we?”.

Blackcountryexile · 05/12/2021 19:30

Someone who decided to tell a story about how a lady with dementia had latched onto her DH whilst he was visiting a relative in a care home and how annoying it was for him. My DF had been diagnosed with dementia and was deteriorating rapidly. She knew this. I still find it upsetting.

HelplesslyHoping · 05/12/2021 19:32

Went to a dinner party with only men who started a lot of conversations with "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/etc but..." and one explained in depth how he thought disabled people should be allowed to die. A bit much for a casual pasta dinner.

Onairjunkie · 05/12/2021 19:33

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

My in-laws are pretentious AF and are known for randomly starting to start conversations in French at the table.

It feels deliberately excluding…

That’s the worst for me.

Omg. They’re awful. That’s so embarrassing for them 😂😂😂 I worked in a pretty nice pub when I was a student and phenomenally pretentious couple came in, who were friends with the owner. They started placing their order in French to me behind the bar, before both guffawing and clutching their sides and proclaiming they’d summered so long in St Tropez they forgot they were back in London.

unfortunately for them I’m half French and responded to them in fluent French and they were completely unable to respond. I actually got a ticking off from my boss for embarrassing them. Meh. Totally worth it.

FreezerBird · 05/12/2021 19:34

I was in a cafe years ago when the lady on the table next to me was holding forth to her companions on the subject of her recent colonic irrigation.

No thank you.

TooWicked · 05/12/2021 19:34

A man who decided to tell everyone present at a dinner party that he was booked in for a vasectomy, and that he deeply regretted having the one child he and his wife already had… his wife was sat right next to him at the time.

clarepetal · 05/12/2021 19:36

The best story ever.

clarepetal · 05/12/2021 19:37

@clarepetal

The best story ever.

The one with the lady answering back in French.....

Puffalicious · 05/12/2021 19:37

@TooWicked

A man who decided to tell everyone present at a dinner party that he was booked in for a vasectomy, and that he deeply regretted having the one child he and his wife already had… his wife was sat right next to him at the time.

Oh my God!

Workinghardeveryday · 05/12/2021 19:42

Granny at a very formal dinner party telling my ex husband and myself she had a bondage kit for us 😬

RicherThanYew · 05/12/2021 19:45

I had a very short relationship with a dickhead who lived in Reading. We went to his parents enormous house for dinner and they had a guest, a friend of theirs. My boyfriends mum was making polite conversation with the guest about his recent stroke and how it was affecting his left eye and hand, my boyfriends father asked "Oh is that your wanking hand then Nigel?" totally deadpan and my boyfriend guffawed until food sprayed out of his mouth. It makes me smile to remember because the father made horrid comments about how I held my cutlery and asked if everyone where I lived did it like that and yet they were the ones with no manners

Lovelydovey · 05/12/2021 19:46

My DF worked in A&E and used to come home with tales of what had happened that day. My DM used to walk out and eat in the kitchen. I lapped up his stories. Mind you DM also hated eating with me because I used to call chicken “dead hen” even while we were eating it.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/12/2021 19:47

@JackieCollinshasnoauthority

Not a conversation, rather lack of. I went to a dinner party with DH and once the others found out I didn't go to a Russell group university they all ignored me for the rest of the evening.

Sounds like they did you a favour. Could you imagine having to keep talking to such pretentious arseholes?

Mummy1232016 · 05/12/2021 19:48

@BigYellowHat

DS was about 5 and announced loudly that when he was at the carol concert every time he looked at ‘Jessica’ his willy went stiff. DH tried to shush him whilst all our guests sniggered but it only made him say it louder 😂

this wins!

Georgyporky · 05/12/2021 19:51

We'd made friends on holiday abroad with a couple who actually lived quite near us.
Dinner at our home a few weeks later, the drunken male guest said "D'you remember the waitress with the big tits? I fucked her."

Mayhem. Female/wife guest threw glass of red wine at him, followed by plate of food, then ran out of house.
Male guest looked quite surprised when we made him leave.

laalaaland · 05/12/2021 19:54

Just started a new job - short 3 month contract. Was about 5 months pregnant with my first. There was some big work dinner, with people from various sites, so sat on a table with people I didn't know.
All fine except for the one dick head who kept trying to tell me the story about his wife's horrendous labour. I kept politely trying to change the subject, he wouldn't take the hint. I had to very loudly and firmly tell him to shut up. Ooh, that was an awkward silence! But at least I didn't have to hear the awful birth story!

tangyandsalty · 05/12/2021 19:55

Probably when we had my MIL for lunch who's a bit stuffy....the window got steamed up from the cooking and one of the teenage kids pointed out a smiley face had appeared on the window...to which other one replied "there's a big knob next to it".

The perils of letting teenage kids have their friends round and neglecting to clean the windows properly.

DrSbaitso · 05/12/2021 20:00

Grandparents round for dinner many years ago. Father (their son in law) decided to tell a lovely story from his childhood about fights in his area as a child, including graphic descriptions of injuries and full repetitions of insults thrown. Grandparents in tears, father shouts at them for being in tears.

I don't like dinner parties.