To ask the worst behaviour at Christmas you’ve witnessed by an adult?

[SoniaFouler]

Mine is:

Drunk cousin (24 at the time) shouting and arguing with everyone for most of Boxing Day three years ago, then topped it off when someone told her to stop being stupid by standing up and scraping the entire contents of her dinner plate all over the table and made my aunt cry.

One of my earliest memories is my father asking me what my favourite present was and me forgetting, in my excitement, my brother's warning to never tell Dad your favourite anything.
I'd accidentally knocked into my Dad earlier in te day trying to catch snow when we were walking home from Christmas dinner at my GPs. As punishment he ripped the head and limbs from my favourite new toy (a doll), stamped on it and then put it down the rubbish chute in the close. I think I was 3.

I'm so sorry 💐

This is heartbreaking to read.

Not us but we were walking back from the pub on Christmas Eve and witnessed a neighbour's elderly dad stomp out of the house to his car, have a rethink, then stomp back down the drive and yell through the letterbox "and you can shove your Christmas dinner up your arse!"

His car was back the next day so can only assume he apologised 😂

Mine was Christmas a few years ago when still married to narcissistic alcoholic ex-h. He’d been drinking every night for the previous month (Christmas!) and by Christmas Eve when I’d done everything for our DD, he wouldn’t help me with a small task late at night as was drunk and obstreperous. As usual. I went to bed and he stayed up until the early hours as usual and at 4am I heard him waking up DD. We all then had to be up as it was Christmas morning and watch her open her presents. I was appalled but said nothing. and needless he collapsed to sleep but DD and I were now awake. I brought her out to culver her new bike and then came back to start to prepare dinner for later. He was still asleep. However he got up in time to go to our neighbours who were having drinks and he started on the prosecco. I held my tongue, cooked dinner, laid the table and watched as he started on the very expensive red wine. I don’t think I’ve ever disliked anyone that much but I gave up on Christmas for that year. Now, it’s just me and DD for Christmas and two dogs and it will be lovely xxx

My hyper competitive sister in law decided to play trivial pursuit and made a big deal of policing the answers to the point that they had to be exactly what was written on the card. She was just painfully obnoxious throughout the game, mocking people for getting questions wrong, or answering questions that were not hers to answer. She refused to hand over a 'cheese' to me because I missed out an 'R' on the who wrote Lord of the Rings question, I had answered J R Tolkien, and not J R R Tolkien, I just rolled my eyes. Got my own back later when she had the final question to win the game which was 'In biblical times what measured 120 X 40 X 40 cubits? She triumphantly screams ' I know this one ...Noah's Ark' before acting the complete arse celebrating. I said no, you got it wrong it was 'The Ark.....not Noah's Ark'. That's what it says on the card, see? She flips the board over and storms out the room. Fucking idiot.

@AliceMcK

Hadn’t seen my family in 4 years and we hadn’t had Christmas together as a family for a good 15 years. My B got very drunk, he was always a lightweight but suspect there were other things being consumed. We manage to wrap the day up with out much incident other than him being a bit letchy, loud and obnoxious. About half an hour later there is loud shouting, B is back with his DP, they had left their car keys behind so my parents could drop the car off the next day, even if they were fit to drive the car was snowed in. The house keys were on the same key ring. Anyway B is pissed off as they had forgotten his DP had given me her house keys Xmas Eve when I stayed at their house. I locked up and posted them through the letter box, as requested. So they couldn’t get in. B is also pissed because he’d tipped the original taxi driver all his cash (this is pre taxis taking cards). We paid the taxi as B didn’t want to go back in the same taxi. B started kicking off throws his keys somewhere in ridiculously thick snow and storms off, not before telling our DF he hoped he died and having a go and the rest of us, so now no one has keys to his house. Eventually we find them and his DP wants to go home, cue new taxi and cash given to her.

A short while later the DP is on the phone crying B has kicked their front door in and smashed everything including her 4yos Christmas presents (her 4yo was with his dad so not there). So now we have to go get her. Only sober people are the women, myself, SIL & mother, the only car not snowed in is SILs, nice sports car that DB says no chance mother driving and no chance his wife’s going without him. I can’t drive manual, So the 3 of them go to get DP, police are called as B is in street screaming with a knife and making threats, house is trashed but police won’t do anything as it’s Bs house and Bs not stupid he got rid of the knife as soon as he knew they were coming and denied he had it. After DB tries pushing police to do something they threaten to arrest him so he walks away and the 4 of them come back. I open front door to DP covered in blood. My DF was so quiet after everyone calms down he just asks if my B hit her, she looks at my DF and says hit me, no he fucking hit me but I fucking beat the shit out of the bastard when I saw what he did to my home and kids presents. Very calmly my DF said, so let me get this right you’ve been beating my son. It dosnt sound it but the way he did it we all just burst out laughing as it broke all the tension.

This was 18 years ago, I’ve only spent 1 Christmas Day with the lot of them once since then and that was only because my DF died just before Xmas so we spent it together. I made sure to leave early.

@AliceMcK Jeyyyyysuss!!!! Did the brother and the woman stay together?

@TwoleftUggs Mil wanted our dd to open presents from her on Xmas eve. We said not til xmas day. She threw a massive strop and chucked all our presents down the stairs one by one.

Please tell me your dd didn't see that. That's the only way it would be funny to me.

Strangely enough though I’m from a very dysfunctional family, Christmas wasn’t too bad - just miserable and awkward, probably because there were various guests around.

So the poor Christmas behaviour I’ve seen that springs to mind was a bloke I didn’t know who drunkenly decided to climb a very, very big municipal Christmas tree on a night out. There was big crowd watching and laughing/cheering at first, then getting alarmed as he got higher, then as he neared the top where it was thinner it started swaying and leaning as it couldn’t hold his weight and he was clinging on for dear life. Police and fire brigade came and had to get him with a cherry picker.

@TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons :O Are you still married to him?

With my mother, she's a violent person and she had a fuckton of ideas of how Christmas 'should' be and every fucking year, things didn't work out the way she planned and we paid the price for her expectations never being met.

Yup. My mother had a horrifically awful childhood so wanted everything to be perfect. Unfortunately she also insisted on cruel practices like pretending there were no Christmas presents for us, and drinking from breakfast so she was slaughtered by mid morning and when everything did go wrong as it always did, she'd lose it even more.

I stopped going there as soon as I could at 20 - and only ever went back once on Christmas day when I was 35 weeks pregnant with DC1. She gave me food poisoning - she'd made a side dish especially for me that no one else liked and I spent the next 24 hours puking my guts up in agony convinced she'd killed my baby. She thought it was hilarious.

@TwoleftUggs

Mil wanted our dd to open presents from her on Xmas eve. We said not til xmas day. She threw a massive strop and chucked all our presents down the stairs one by one.

I know I shouldn't but this really made me laugh- I'm imagining you all there as each present comes flying down!

Many years ago, DH, I, my parents and his were spending Christmas Day together and as the timing worked perfectly we thought it would be the perfect day to announce I was pregnant. Cue the future maternal grandmother (sorry, can’t bring myself to use the obvious word even without the “D”) bursting into tears, rushing from the room and refusing to surface for a couple of hours. Thanks for spoiling the announcement of the only grandchild on either side,

@Sjxoxo

Properly laughing at your story hidden in amongst all the horror. Thanks!

My DB and Sil decided to emigrate to another country and build their own house (they lasted nine months) and insisted we come stay for their first Christmas.

We drove most of a day to get there only for Sil to get drunk on Christmas Day (no surprise) and start pointing out all our faults to us. The children, including hers, wanted to watch a British Christmas Day programme on the TV which was apparently a crime in her eyes. She decided we all had to listen to music although they were spending the day in OUR accommodation.

Cue mass exodus of the children to our DDs room, my DB and DF sulked off home leaving me and my DH to deal with her. Had to listen to about an hour of her nastiness before DH eventually escorted her home where she missed cracking her skull open on icy flagstones by a milimeter.

Boxing Day was as if nothing had happened. Bizarre. So glad I don't have to put up with her crap anymore. Also moving her to a country where local wine was about a penny a litre was not one of my DBs brightest moments.

@MakingTheBestOfIt

I hope your Christmases are happier now *@DeltaFlyer*

DH claims all his childhood Christmases were marred by his parents’ seething passive-aggression towards each other. Sadly they’re still together, in the words of DH’s brother, ‘both fully committed to making each other’s life a misery until the day one of them finally dies’

God this sounds like my parents!

A couple of years ago on Boxing Day my DF got steaming drunk (as is usual) and started having a random rant about people being allowed disabled badges, and how it was clear that some of them didn't have disabilities if they were able to park their car and simply walk to their offices . He was generally being quite foul about it.

Many years of defusing this sort of idiocy from my DF has taught me that its easier to just ignore than to challenge otherwise it just descends into a screaming fit on his part, so I just said something non-committal like, 'I've not really thought about it Dad', to which he took a massive hump and just kept repeating, 'You haven't thought about it, why haven't you thought about it?' whilst getting more and more irate and aggressive.

Eventually I had to say to him that I didn't want to discuss it and he stormed out the room. All the while my equally inebriated mother just sat next to him staring into space, and then had the audacity to tell me later on that I'd upset him!

We left pretty promptly after that even though we haven't even had dessert yet!

Good thread. I think if anyone has started a thread about being on their own at Christmas they should be directed here. It might make them feel a bit better! I find it hard to believe that people can be so awful!

@Practicebeingpatient not an overreaction at all in my view

Like too many others on thread - YEARS of them DECADES worth - first my dad (alcoholic, ruined most of our Xmases as kids and between a certain set of years I don't think mum had a Christmas where she wasn't injured in some way, many household items and gifts deliberately broken) we (dc) "learned" to do damage limitation by actually plying him with MORE alcohol as early as possible so he'd pass out sooner and hopefully not hurt mum or not as much.

Then dad got sober (not by choice so dry drunk but a bit better behaved at Xmas) and sister took over the mantle of "destroyer of Xmas" with narc rage, relationship drama and faux medical emergencies

Fun!

And people wonder why some of us hate Xmas!

The NOT coming out one made me laugh a bit. Exactly the kinda thing my sister would try if she thought she'd a chance of getting away with it or thought it would cause drama but she was waaaay too young to get away with that one as we've a few gay relatives in the older generation so massively no big deal in our family at all

@DimplesToadfoot I also raised dd alone and had xmases I was on bones of my arse and all her gifts were Poundland/supermarket jobs my heart genuinely breaks for both of you I'm so sorry what a shit of a man!

My dad 50 at the time nearly threw out all the presents as if it was the wrapping paper.

This reminded me of an Xmas at ex in laws but it wasn't bad behaviour on their part they're lovely just an unfortunate accident involving

a diamond ring (worth many thousands intended as a "replacement" for her engagement ring which was a fairly cheap one as they were young and broke at the time)

tipsy adults

rampaging grandchildren

wrapping paper and...

culminating in a rifle through the kitchen bin AFTER dinner had been cleared away 🤢😂

I spend Xmas alone these days (dd is away at uni and has a job in uni town and it's a good time to pick up extra shifts and extra pay for her, there's a relative in next town along she goes to on the actual day) and it's BLISS! No drunks,no violence, no tension, no arguments...love it!

My mother keeps trying to persuade bro and I to hers but we both won't go cos of sister I'm nc 7 years now he's vlc actually only sees/speaks to her if she's at mums when he's visiting (he lives down south)

Sister is mums gc yet EVERY YEAR I get the new year rant about what sister picked arguments about this time or bad behaviour from her kids (who are actually generally ok kids EXCEPT at my mums IF my sister is there too where they become like bloody rampaging chimps! This is because if my mum DARES tell them off it starts a sodding row and so mum lets them away with murder!) yet if my dd or bros kids misbehave at mums she comes down on them like a ton of bricks!

@Ilikecheeseontoast I have no problem believing even the outlandish ones as in addition to my family I also worked in nhs in the past and on 999 calls and I've witnessed/heard of similar and worse!

How badly people can treat each other neither shocks nor surprises me!

@slapperschild my sister did something v similar the first time now exh visited my parents but at least not in front of others she thought it was just her and him but I was in the next room and heard every word (inc him awkwardly trying to somehow politely extricate himself from the entire encounter she had him cornered basically!) she denied all to parents and bro; parents believed her bro believed me and exh huge row! Exh on future occasions ensured he was NEVER alone with her again for obvious reasons.

@Practicebeingpatient You have absolutely nothing to be defensive or apologetic about she behaved appallingly and you were actually very kind letting her stay that night!

@JustLyra every time I read one of your posts about all your parents diid I'm so sad and angry on your behalf so glad you were away from them eventually

@Theywalkamongstus I'm so sorry that happened to you 

One year we went to PIL's and within minutes of everyone arriving FIL had screamed at DN, who was 7 at the time, because she accidentally broke an inexpensive (and frankly hideous) ornament in their lounge. So DN was in tears because she'd been screamed at, SIL (her Mum) was upset with FIL, who then got defensive and shouted at SIL that it wouldn't have happened if she supervised her DC properly, MIL started crying hysterically because SIL and FIL were "ruining her special day", BIL tried to calm the situation down and got shouted at by all three of them for interfering, so he shouted back and then FIL stormed off and shut himself in his shed. They all ended up crying or sulking in separate rooms of the house so DH and I were left to cook Christmas lunch whilst looking after our newborn, looking after BIL and SIL's DC and entertaining the elderly Aunts and Uncles plus MIL's friend who we hadn't even met before. And PIL wonder why we haven't wanted to spend Christmas day at their house since!

Back in the olden days, my oldest-daughter-and-mother-of-the-only-grandchildren role included pressure (mostly self-inflicted, and mostly I enjoyed it) to provide the Perfect Family Christmas for my extended family. One year, one of my sisters was going through a pescetarian phase so I served salmon instead of turkey for Christmas dinner. My mother, who liked salmon perfectly well every other day of the year, mooched around the kitchen whining about the absence of turkey while I was cooking, then sat at the table glaring at her plate and making heaving noises, ran out of the room with her hand over her mouth, and returned to the table and repeated the entire performance while everyone else was trying to enjoy their dinner and ignore the fact that Mum was threatening to vomit on the table because she didn't get turkey.

My mother also liked to pick fights with my XH, who was only too happy to reciprocate. When we were divorced and even after I had remarried, she nagged me to "give the children's father his place" and invite him to our family Christmas dinners. I did for a few years, partly because I'm a soft touch and partly because if she was goading him she might leave everyone else alone.

YY to Christmas being a time of sensory overload. As an "exile" it was always stressful travelling back home and going into performance mode. One time saw horrendous weather, delayed travel and being dumped at a different airport several hours later due to rerouting on the return journey . When I eventually rang Mum to say I'd got back my mask had been essentially ripped off and it resulted in a teary, shouty ding-dong over the phone and a massive fall-out. (A few things had been building up - exhaustion, airport booze and then-undiagnosed ADHD don't help.)

Thankfully things eventually smoothed over, it was accepted that OH and I would do our own thing at Christmas from then on in. Then Mum's cancer took over - I nipped over just before the next Christmas on my own and we'd more than made peace. She was gone by the following February.

Laughing (Dad locked in the car with booze and cigars - legend ) and sad (poor boy and his toy car/nasty stranger ) as I'm reading these depending on the stories. May you all have the Christmasses you'd prefer this year.

Reading through this thread, it's obvious that alcohol causes so many problems.

If anybody is reading this and planning on getting absolutely wasted this Christmas, do have a serious think first about whether you can handle it.

Don't ruin everybody else' Christmas just because you can hit the bottle from 8am.

Sorry, realise I sound very teacher-ish here but I think it's a serious thing for each of us to consider ahead of the festivities.

My Christmas is always ..my DH and our 6 DC and my DB. No other family. We do have other so called family but we are totally NC with them all and have been since we were 18.... too much to say on here as it would be outing but it was simple the best thing we did. I have a very dear friend who every year puts up with s**t from fo called family and it affects her health and well-being. Cutting ties for me and DH and my DB was the best thing to do. I am so sorry so hear of some of these stories. Please don’t subject yourselves to more heartache.
Merry Christmas all.

I was at my Ex (thank god) in-laws on Christmas Day about 9/10 years ago. My DD (from a previous relationship) was with us and we sat down to open presents from their side of the family. My 2 younger DC had piles of gifts, Ex MIL & FIL had piles of gifts, my ExH and his brother had piles of gifts, I had 1 or 2 and my DD had none, nothing, not a single selection box, bag of sweets, nothing. Not one single member of their family had bought my DD(10) a single thing.
I remember my heart sinking as I watched her helping her brother and sister opening their presents.

I chucked my gifts back under the tree and left, with my DD. I felt awful leaving my other DC there but they were happy opening their presents. Me and DD walked and chatted and called in to see various people around the village. She never mentioned having no presents from them.

When we got back they all looked puzzled and I took my ExH aside and said we wanted to leave and I wasn’t prepared to stay somewhere where my DD (who they’d known for around 6/7 years at this point) was forgotten about. He said I was overreacting and that she’d had enough stuff from my family.
Ex MIL got wind of our conversation and told me quite clearly that my DD had her own family to buy her presents.
We left.
We divorced.
I haven’t spoken to his rancid ditch pig of a mother since. (and my DC hate her now too)

*Reading through this thread, it's obvious that alcohol causes so many problems.

If anybody is reading this and planning on getting absolutely wasted this Christmas, do have a serious think first about whether you can handle it.

Don't ruin everybody else' Christmas just because you can hit the bottle from 8am.

Sorry, realise I sound very teacher-ish here but I think it's a serious thing for each of us to consider ahead of the festivities.*

Completely agree with this. Having grown up with an alcoholic father who often ruined family gatherings and could make Christmas an unhappy time for the rest of us, I would also urge anyone who drinks to get drunk and then can't handle it, and gets into arguments, to think seriously about the fall-out from this and how much hurt it causes.

About 1982-3 Christmas Day, MIL and FIL round for Christmas dinner and the phone goes. Ex-husband worked in heating and refrigeration and came back and said as soon as dinner was finished he had to go to an emergency heating breakdown at a large council estate boiler house. The whole estate would have no heating if he didn't go.

Found out much later when we had separated that the OW had phoned him and he'd gone round to her house to spend a large part of the day with her and her daughter.