To ask the worst behaviour at Christmas you’ve witnessed by an adult?

[SoniaFouler]

Mine is:

Drunk cousin (24 at the time) shouting and arguing with everyone for most of Boxing Day three years ago, then topped it off when someone told her to stop being stupid by standing up and scraping the entire contents of her dinner plate all over the table and made my aunt cry.

I'm lucky to have had wonderful parents who ensured we had great Christmas's but my dm's sister and her husband were both alcoholics, every single Christmas I remember from early childhood to when my uncle died had my mother rescuing my cousins from some fight, these fights between my aunt and her husband were violent affairs involving broken windows, police, ambulances etc, I didn't realise until my teens that my parents always budgeted to include providing Christmas Dinner, Santa gifts and clothes for my cousins as well as our family. Most Christmas I'd end up sharing my bed with a couple of cousins. I hate that alcohol ruins so much for so many.

I had something to add to this thread but it's so tiny I'm not going to after reading all these. In fact strongly considering stopping drinking, not because I've ever behaved like this but less of a drinking culture in this country would be good.

@Buzzer3555

My mum got pissed and broke all my daughters Christmas presents then shat in her bed.

Shat?!!!

@Jacaranda75

Every year without fail my Mum’s DP would get drunk, throw the Christmas tree out of the window and smash all my presents.

I’ve never told anybody that before.

I’m so sorry you went through this. I hope sharing it feels a little bit positive for you ❤️

My sister. She visited our house with her 9 month old son for Boxing Day. My children were 8, 10 and 12 and very excited to meet their cousin for the first time and make a fuss of him but she was very PFB about him and they weren't allowed to hold him or feed him or cuddle him or even watch him being bathed. Eventually my sister put him to bed while we were all downstairs in the living room chatting and laughing. (Please note this was about 8pm in the evening with children present so no one was drunk or loud, there was no tv or music just a small group of family socialising ). DSis settled her son and came downstairs. She made a barbed comment about how hard it was to put a baby to sleep while we were making such a row and my 8 year old laughed assuming she was being funny. DSis rounded on my daughter and turned the air blue telling her it wasn't funny and we were all fucking self centred and ignorant. I was angry that instead of taking her frustration out on me or my mum or our brother she turned on the youngest, most vulnerable person present.

There was a very long silence while I cuddled DD and then I asked my sister to leave the room and told her she needed to apologise to my daughter and then leave the house the next morning. She didn't apologise but she did leave the house before anyone was up and she hasn't been back here since. She now hints for a Christmas invitation every year but she is no longer welcome in my house. It was a long time ago but she hurt my kind and sensitive DD a lot and I haven't got over it yet.

This may seem like an over reaction on my part but we lived in a fairly rough part of a big city at the time and D.C. saw and heard a fair bit of aggression outside the house so DH and I tried to ensure our home a safe place to be. Bringing behaviour like that into our home was not OK.

Office party. Head of HR got shitfaced. Stripped to waist and ran around the room with her tits out.

A complete stranger, pissed, got on the roof, climbed down the chimney, left a pile of boxes in the living room, helped himself to a mince pie and a glass of sherry, and then fucked off. I was disgusted.

Last year my sister ( adult in forties) picked a fight with my teenage children over a card game got in a strop when I didn't defend her and left on Boxing Day.

My mum’s (now ex, thank fuck) husband hated Christmas and was an alcoholic. Every year he caused a drama and did his utmost to ruin the day for all of us, but one year was particularly bad. He launched a loaded plate at my head and a carving knife at my sister. My mum didn’t kick him out for treating us badly, the marriage ended for other reasons

More recently, my mother and two sisters insisted my husband and I spend Christmas with them, fair enough. Said we’d be there before dinner, aim for around 10:30/11. We were getting shitty calls by 9:30 asking where we were, then the three of them spent the day leaving the room whenever my husband walked in and generally ignoring both of us. Final straw was when they all went to bed without saying a word, despite us meant to be staying the night and nothing being set up for that. We left at gone midnight, got home and got roaring drunk and vowed never to go there for Christmas again!

@HangingDitch

A complete stranger, pissed, got on the roof, climbed down the chimney, left a pile of boxes in the living room, helped himself to a mince pie and a glass of sherry, and then fucked off. I was disgusted.

Ho Ho Ho!

The first time me and my then boyfriend (now DH) went to my parents for lunch instead of mother in law, we got told "no problem just come here for dinner and I will make something lighter than lunch".

We get there and she is sitting in her chair and says "I am full and I don't feel like cooking".
FIL was pretty drunk so didn't care but when we tried to get food from the fridge we were told "there is nothing in there".

She is very very passive aggressive.

I am so sad to hear of so many awful Christmas days spent with drunk and violent relatives. As adults, we have the power to walk away, but so many children are helpless and afraid. My heart goes out to all of you that had to endure this, and bless all of those that had the strength to get children away from this.

We never had any relatives, and I always envied friends that had a lot of visitors at Christmastime, but hearing some of these stories I think we may have been better off with our very quiet celebration.

And people are surprised I don't celebrate Xmas.

This seems quite mild.

When my brother and I were in our teens we bought presents for parents, grand parents, some other relatives and these were put under the tree, wrapped, waiting for 'the say'.

As various people arrived and exchanged gifts the number of presents grew.

My mum would go through the presents and open any for her, then put them back unwrapped under the tree.

Then on Xmas day there would be a massive strop when she didn't have anything to open.

The first year my brother was away from home she bought him loads of stuff, she seemed to spend all of December buying for him. She forgot to buy anything for me though.

Well I got a hair slide, the kind you put a pony tail in, but I had short hair. I think I may have had an orange too.

My DSIS37 always forgets that she is vegan at Christmas and DSIS43 forgets she has 'allergies' as they both enthusiastically dig in to the trifle. Undermining the trifle, in order to snaffle more of the sherry and fruit soaked sponge, leaving the custard, cream and peach slices in a precarious Jenga style avalanche hazard. This disgusting behaviour has resulted in many a Christmas Day spat and once an all out flounce in DP's house

@Bellafrenum

Was the rock overlooking the ocean?

It certainly was. I was sure that I looked like a melancholic waif, dashed on the rocks of the cruel midwinter. In fact I probably looked like a hardy red faced heifer, separated from the herd due to my own belligerence and stubbornness. We'll never know, as (quite rightly) my family ignored it and no one came to look for me.

Virtually all of my shit Christmases have involved my mum or sister or both in some way. My sister (who is much, much bigger than me) tried to beat me up on Boxing Day one year. Because I’d split up with my boyfriend a couple of months before and she said I was selfish to I had to run out of my own home to escape. My mum’s only input was “I was devastated too. I really liked him”

A few years later, my mum was spending Christmas with me, my now ex and his whole side of the family. I happened to get a text from my aunt to thank me for the present I’d got my very elderly gran. How lovely. My mum didn’t think so. Massive tantrum: crying, “hyperventilating”, shaking, whinging and ranting about what an evil bitch my aunt is… All because she hadn’t got a thank you text from aunty too. It was so embarrassing having to explain to now exinlaws why she was behaving like a fucking hysterical dickhead. The annoying part was my aunt couldn’t have text my mother a thank you message because my mum had her number blocked on her phone because aunty is “toxic”

There are loads more examples from that lot but yeah those 2 incidents really highlight the crazy I deal with.

@Battygirll 🤣

When my useless fathers vile wife wouldn’t let us in the house, that he had bought and paid for and where her kids lived, at all over Christmas. I was 13. My 17 yr old sister had just passed her test so she drove us to meet him in a car park for 10 minutes where we exchanged gifts. Looking back, I still can’t believe he didn’t tell her to fuck off, but she’s unhinged and hated us from day 1. I’ve been NC with them for years. On a more positive note, it made me a much better SM to my own DSC!

@JustLyra

We all split the cost of food and drinks for Christmas Eve, Christmas Dinner and Boxing Day. It's always at our house as we have the space and usually 20-28 people. One year BIL had invited his new-ish girlfriend as she had nowhere else to go (became clear wise). It was last minute so she wasn't asked or expected to chip in - this is key - and no-one was remotely bothered. However, BIL mentioned on Christmas morning that he'd just remembered to transfer his share to us. New GF took massive offense to the fact that he was "charged" for dinner at his brother's house. Despite being sat at a table with 24 members of his family she spent the whole meal saying "Oh, a roast potato... hmm this probably cost you X... Oooh turkey, probably about x pounds worth" When she was offered a drink (she didn't bring a single thing with her yet turned her nose up at every drink option) she asked if it was like a wedding where you got one glass of shit wine with your meal before the pay bar opened. BIL snapped and told her they were leaving when one of my kids mentioned one of their gifts and she asked if we bought that from the meal profits.

That said my very worst was my father when I was a child. My parents were horrific, thankfully my Grandparents took us when I was 7.
One of my earliest memories is my father asking me what my favourite present was and me forgetting, in my excitement, my brother's warning to never tell Dad your favourite anything.
I'd accidentally knocked into my Dad earlier in te day trying to catch snow when we were walking home from Christmas dinner at my GPs. As punishment he ripped the head and limbs from my favourite new toy (a doll), stamped on it and then put it down the rubbish chute in the close. I think I was 3.

I'm so sorry your dad did that. It's awful.

DGF’s best friend telling us early November that “everyone” is out of the country for Xmas so we invited her for Christmas lunch, she thanked us and accepted, said it would “just be her and the “kiddiewinks” (her DS (22) and DD(20) and to remember DD is vegetarian”.
Invited to come at half past one / two o’clock and we’d be eating at 3. She called at 1.45 to say she was running late because they’d popped in to see her mum then her dad and we’re just nipping in past her MIL on her way to us. Finally arrived at ten to 3, both “kids” pissed as farts, just as a £160 rib roast was coming out of the oven and wanted to “have a few drinks before we eat”, get miffed when I said the meal was just away to be served then stayed until after midnight despite knowing we had a 2 hour drive to go to my parents for Boxing Day.

She won’t be invited again

My ex-boyfriends father sexually assaulted me on Christmas day. He waited until everyone was out of the room and then did it.

@TwoleftUggs

Mil wanted our dd to open presents from her on Xmas eve. We said not til xmas day. She threw a massive strop and chucked all our presents down the stairs one by one.

😂 a lot of these are just so sad but this bloody hilarious.

Six weeks of tears, tantrums and emotional blackmail in the run up to Christmas by my MIL as my 30 year old OH decided to spend Christmas day with my family. Despite threats to cut him out the family, it was all forgotten on Christmas Day and has never been mentioned since (probably because we have spent Xmas with our own families ever since as can’t deal with the emotional warfare again!)

Mine is long. Brace yourself.
My DD1’s first Christmas was well… Fucked. She was only 5m old, so doesn’t remember, but it set the scene for “family” Christmases for us from then on! That kid had reflux and only slept for 20mins at a time and frankly, between the lack of sleep and juggling family politics, I wasn’t prepared to play that game. We also live in Aus, and the distance required to drive between some of these people - in the same town - I huge, and it’s bloody hot!!!
My DM (narc) had decided that we were going to hers at lunchtime. Explained that wasn’t happening and why. Invited her and DF around for breakfast and coffee and to watch DD with her Santa presents. They accepted the invitation and we planned the rest of the PITAS (relatives) around that. DH’s parents are divorced and of course not amicably. DH’s DM (another Narc, managed to piss everyone off to the point that DH is the only one who talks to her now. Idiot.) and mine competitive AF. Passive-aggressive snark + Wine = I get it in the neck for the rest of the year. Nope. No thanks. She has drunk, violent bf DH has rescued her from once too often and he is banned from our home. She refuses to come. Awesome! Problem solved! Until the drunken sobbing phone call on Christmas Eve begging him to come and get her again. This time he said refused, so she stayed at a friend’s place, but wanted to come for breakfast and enjoy the Santa fun…. fml! He did actually say no to that too, but she rocked up at 6:30 with ONE CROISSANT. (Stale - because - nothing open of course.) Anyhow… I’m too shitty to say anything to either of them. Get him to speak to her and I’m cooking the breakfast for my parents. He makes her coffee (and serves her her stale croissant 🤣)… and we wait…. And wait… and wait… I rang my parents place and spoke to Dad who had obviously no idea that they were supposed to come over. Mum snatched the phone away and said, “Oh, Your father’s not well in the mornings and doesn't feel like going. You’ll have to come round at lunch after all.” Riiiiiiight. Ummmm… no. Explained that we were not going to do that because we had other guests coming through the day, like we’d discussed. She hung up in a rage. Dad rang back and was furious because mum had invited about 30 friends as well as wider family to show off “HER” baby, and how dare I embarrass her like that. Explained that actually, she had made plans to come to breakfast - that I had paid for and cooked, and not even had the manners to call me, and she knew that I wasn’t coming. He knew what she was like, but he had to play the game or be chewed up. He threw me under the bus and yelled at me too. I told him he was a spineless bastard, and he said “What do you want me to do?” I hung up. Pretty upset and angry, hurt and disappointed by this stage. My DH fielded the increasingly abusive, hysterical phone calls from my DM. MIL thought it prudent to crawl away at some time too. We had FIL &SMIL for morning tea. They’re nice enough. All of us relieved they avoided MIL. Then DH’s GM who I adored over for lunch. (Utterly disappointed by her daughter, btw. Very happy to avoid my MIL also.) I was just starting to relax when my DM roared up the driveway, but couldn’t get into our gate. (It wasn’t locked - she was just so hysterical, she couldn’t work out how to unlatch it.) She was screeching obscenities through the hole you put your hand in to open the gate like a very short, foul-mouthed harpy, (all about how I’d embarrassed her and ruined HER special day) then started throwing the presents she’d bought for my DD over the fence. (Smashed my beautiful Osmanthus, too!) I videoed it all and emailled it to my father. (No comment in return.)
*You should have seen her when we scuppered her plans for our wedding!

No where near as bad as some of these but one I remember...
I had a argument with MIL on Christmas Day. Asked her not to keep taking something of mine (outting to say) as I rely on it for my disability, for her to have a go at me in a really nasty sacarastic manner. Bil, SIL, all the kids sat there in shock and didn't say anything.
So I left her house taking my thing telling her not to talk to me like that after I just cooked her and her family Christmas dinner and that I wasn't her child so she had no right to act like a spoilt brat and a few stronger words out of the kids ear shot while she sat there in disbelief that I had told her off (I'm not assertive usually and think she was banking on me to be quiet and take the insults)
Got home, phone my parents they picked me up and I enjoyed the rest of Christmas with them.