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AIBU?

To ask the worst behaviour at Christmas you’ve witnessed by an adult?

612 replies

SoniaFouler · 05/12/2021 18:58

Mine is:

Drunk cousin (24 at the time) shouting and arguing with everyone for most of Boxing Day three years ago, then topped it off when someone told her to stop being stupid by standing up and scraping the entire contents of her dinner plate all over the table and made my aunt cry.

OP posts:
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TrickorTreacle · 05/12/2021 23:36

Reading the first 4 pages of this thread, I have come to the following conclusion: The in-laws (MIL, FIL etc) have a lot more to answer to than other family members!!!

As for me, I haven't seen any family drama. I guess it's because we never invite any in-laws around. Perfect!

Had a few funny works Christmas dos though:

  • one year where a colleague was having an affair and made no effort to hide it due to alcohol consumption. Said colleague spent Christmas alone.


  • another year where a different colleague drunk herself to stupidity and made a fool of herself. The CEO was at the same party and colleague got a disciplinary.


  • another year where one of the guys had passed out at another venue before the works party started. He was asleep and so missed the party. We didn't know where he was until the day after, so that was a bit of drama there trying to work out where he was and if he was ok etc.
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AnnieSnap · 05/12/2021 23:36

@Floundery

My SIL. No drink involved. Threw a fit because I’d bought her a cashmere sweater from M&S and she wanted something designer. I insulted her with the gift. She knew I could afford “better”. (I tend to live in cotton and linen kaftans and baggy stuff - definitely not a label person and wouldn’t know where to start!)

We’ve never spoken since. She’s a GP and I always feel sorry for her patients because she’s such a nasty bitch.

Wow! It’s a bit worrying that she works in healthcare with vulnerable people.
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SallyWebsterr · 05/12/2021 23:39

When I was 19 I was dating a 22 year old guy whose mother was very involved. We had been together around 2 years at this point so it wasnt a new relationship. He was a much wanted only child (and still lived at home until he was 36). He invited me over on Christmas night and I arrived, after both our families had eaten dinner, at 7pm. She threw a massive strop because he gave me a necklace and he didnt get her one. He had already given her gifts earlier in the day but started banging things round and then had a very loud row with her husband in the kitchen about why "SHE" (me) had to come round and then debated why I had to even exist at all and how she wished I didn't. Odd thing was we got on great 99% of the time but whenever she felt I was getting something she wasnt or her sons attention she would go mental. I instantly made my excuses and tried to leave but BF & his dad convinced me to stay by saying it would cause a bigger atmosphere if I left. She then began to say it would be best if she kept hold on the necklace for safe keeping incase I lost it and, if I wanted to wear it for an occasion, I could just ask her for it. We then sat and watched a film. Her and him on one couch and me on the other next to his DF.

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merrygoround51 · 05/12/2021 23:41

My mother 5 years ago. She wanted to host, we arrived, she was drunk and bolshy. Dinner was inedible and then she got even worse. Ended up with her shouting at us to leave. We’ve hosted ever since.

She has form getting drunk on Xmas day. The sad thing was she would go to a huge amount of trouble over the food and then ruin it all

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Udouhun · 05/12/2021 23:47

I am Shock at some of these. I am so sad for the posters with terrible memories of violent parents. The worst Christmases I've ever had was where someone said something inappropriate.

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PearlSlaghoople · 05/12/2021 23:47

Over 50 years ago, but ingrained in my memory… me sat at the top of the stairs with my teddies, watching my ‘D’M try and set fire to the house, and my DDad behind her stamping on the lit matches she was throwing…
Aged 6, I figured out that top of the stairs meant I could escape ( with my teddies in my arms)
She was a raging alcoholic and life finally calmed down when she died. I was 9. All I felt was relief by that point.
Sorry to all you lovely Mnetters who have also suffered appalling Christmas’s. 💐

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SoSoTiredToday · 05/12/2021 23:48

My mum borrowed my car on boxing Day morning one year (she had never ever done that before!) without asking when I was asleep. When I woke up, she came home and had a massive go at me saying my brakes weren't working and she's skidded as a result. She was really REALLY cross.

I explained that 1) the brakes were working fine, and if she'd have asked to borrow the car I could have shown her how the brakes work as different pressure is needed than on her car. She must have skidded on the ice. 2) I had no idea she was going to borrow the car so why was I being 'told off' for her skidding! She wasn't insured to drive it and although I didn't mind her borrowing it, if she'd have asked first she'd have known the brakes were fine etc..

She didn't speak to me for 6 months!! I still have no idea what I did wrong! I was asleep and she took the car without asking and skidded! How the hell is that my fault!!!?

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Littleroundsponge · 05/12/2021 23:50

My Nan taking to her bed to cry as Grandad had bought a TV for their bedroom as her Christmas present.

She was expecting jewellery Grin

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seriouslyenoughalready · 05/12/2021 23:53

This is so sad. I’m sorry that your son experienced this . What a vile man

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LightDrizzle · 06/12/2021 00:03

Not surprising to see that alcohol is involved in so many of these. I'm not teetotal but I do think there is an enormous amount of denial and ignorance about the impact of our drinking culture. It's not just violent drunks out and about in town landing clogging up A&E; it's children scared by their parents behaviour after enjoying their "wine o'clocks", and it cuts across all socio-economic backgrounds.

I'm sorry for all of you who have had really awful experiences,

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TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 06/12/2021 00:07

When H used to drink 2 bottles of port before dinner. One year he went nuts because I told the DSs off for having a cushion fight with the cushions DM, who really couldn't afford it, had bought us. Apparently all rules were to be dropped for Christmas Day, despite the fact that DS3 has ADHD and hates any relaxation of rules or change of routine. He didn't let it drop all fucking day, I was having a shit and he opened the door and was standing there laughing at me and saying "doesn't Mummy look stupid" to our 4 year old. DS3 was nervously laughing next to him. He's now 10 and doesn't remember any of it, thank God.

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Hemingwayscatz · 06/12/2021 00:08

Probably when my stepdad chased me upstairs and beat me because I was upset that they’d forgotten to buy batteries for my remote control car.

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loovgdj · 06/12/2021 00:10

Having all my family and friends round for a party on Boxing Day and my DB getting very drunk and trying to start a fight with our dad. Dad didn't retaliate so DB then got aggressive with me which resulted in me having to manhandle him out. So embarrassing as we I hate drama (but DB does have a problem with alcohol) and had in laws and old friends there too.

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TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 06/12/2021 00:23

@sjxoxo

My younger brother, about 24 years old- came home from pub on Xmas eve, absolutely, totally pissed. Went for a wee in the downstairs loo, came out with no trousers or pants on, proceeded to march into the lounge where my parents, our 2 sets of elderly very proper Grandparents, some neighbours, and a couple of my parents friends, we’re all sat eating choccies and chit chatting.
Brother didn’t seem to notice everyone at all; got a handful of choccies and spent 30 seconds looking in various plug sockets for his phone charger, bearing all!!!!!

No one said a word, apart from my Grandad who is like an elderly version of Mr Carson from Downton Abbey: “I think we can all agree that women are by far the fairer sex. Men really are ugly beings.”

Haha!! X

I can hear this in Carson's voice. Xmas Grin
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bluecampbell · 06/12/2021 00:25

First few Christmases after my stepmother snagged my father. She was insanely jealous of my late mother's memory and an alcoholic to boot, so would have a skinful and sit there, ugly faced and snarling vicious insults about my mother and saying she was a much better wife. My father used to just duck out and go to bed.

After a few of these my siblings and I stopped going anywhere near there for Christmas and left them to it. Luckily I have fabulous parents in law and Christmas with them was - and is - always wonderful.

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Annonnimoouse42 · 06/12/2021 00:27

@GeorgiaGirl52

Widowed aunt comes to Christmas dinner at her niece's house (who was my mother). She visits twice a year for a day. She knows we are a dog family, but this year she brings her white Persian cat because "Charlie will do fine with dogs because he has never seen one." Charlie had instincts. Thirty seconds into the room and he jumped from her arms and headed to the highest place he could reach the top of the grandfather clock. Aunt has hysterics. My mother stopped everyone from rescuing him said "he can stay up there" and proceeded to have dinner and gifting etc. with the cat perched up there (and our dogs circling the bottom). When the day was over, we got a stepladder, got the cat down and handed him back to the Aunt.
Mother commented on how well-behaved he was and that he was welcome anytime. They never came again.

'Charlie had instincts' ROFL 🤣
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YourVagesty · 06/12/2021 00:29

My ex is a teacher and at the end of term, every other parent (seemingly) would give him a bottle of whiskey (his favourite) so he'd be trashed for nearly the whole Christmas break.

The worst was one Christmas day at 4am, when I was asleep but he'd stayed up drinking. He came upstairs, dragged me out of bed and spat on me for no reason. Just off his face.

Glad he's my ex!

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DartmoorChef · 06/12/2021 00:52

Alcoholic abusive ex husband who ruined every single Christmas in the 12 years we were together.

The final year I vowed it would be the last one I spent with him and it was.

Yet again he got utterly shit faced by drinking a bottle of whisky before 2pm , while I was cooking the lunch for adult step children and their partners and his over indulgent mother who defended his behaviour or just laughed.

Sat at the table and he could barely speak or open his eyes , other than to say "I'm not eating this shit, that cunt is trying to poison me". he then staggered off to bed and fell into a drunken coma, pissed himself and we enjoyed the afternoon in peace.

I went to stay at my friends that night and came back 2 days later, told him it was over.

It took a few more months and him trying to kill me (police called, he was charged and given a lifetime injunction and i moved 200 miles away as soon as I could to start a new happy life)

That was 8 years ago and my Christmas days have been great ever since.

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Charmatt · 06/12/2021 00:59

The first year we were married my dad was terminally ill - given 2 months to live in October and was still alive at Christmas but had a few weeks left. Christmas Day was my dad's birthday and my MIL insisted my husband went to their's for Christmas Day because apparently she couldn't face it without him. She made him feel so bad about it that I told him to go because my dad was my focus. He was only 23cat the time and has since developed the ability to tell her , 'No!'

My husband arrived at 4pm - he stayed until the end of his dinner and then came straight over. She had a go at him for leaving. My Dad thought it was hilarious and they had a good laugh about it. He understood because his own mother was a classic guilt tripped. My Dad died less than a month later.

That was over 25 years ago - only one of a list if things she has done.....

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Charmatt · 06/12/2021 01:00

*guilt tripper

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AmyandPhilipfan · 06/12/2021 01:04

Threads like this always remind me how truly lucky I am to have been born into the family I was. I think I can honestly say I’ve never had a bad Christmas. Even the year my dad was dying of cancer and was in hospital was quite a pleasant day! It’s heartbreaking to hear of the kinds of things some people have had to put up with from their relatives.

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spudjulia · 06/12/2021 01:07

@Jacaranda75 I know how that feels. 💐

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LunaTheCat · 06/12/2021 01:15

@Floundery

My SIL. No drink involved. Threw a fit because I’d bought her a cashmere sweater from M&S and she wanted something designer. I insulted her with the gift. She knew I could afford “better”. (I tend to live in cotton and linen kaftans and baggy stuff - definitely not a label person and wouldn’t know where to start!)

We’ve never spoken since. She’s a GP and I always feel sorry for her patients because she’s such a nasty bitch.

Omg! That is awful behaviour! (This GP would be honoured by a Cashmere sweater from M and S 😉)
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krustykittens · 06/12/2021 01:17

Christmas when I was a kid was always bad because my stepfather was a violent alcoholic and drug user. He would always be off his head by lunch time, "because everyone has a drink at Christmas" and he would always get to a stage where he turned nasty. Then there were the withdrawal symptoms over the next few days. My toys nearly always got smashed up, I always got hit and called horrible, there was always a screaming row between him and my enabler mother. I hated them. I would have happily gone to my grandparents every year but my mother always wanted to play happy families and have the perfect Christmas. Even as a young adult I used to 'home' and try and have a decent Christmas but it was often worse because she would have bought booze for me and kept it hidde3n but he would know, get drunk, demand to have it, start a row until he got it - it was so fucking tedious. After promising me faithfully not to drink, he ruined my daughter's first Christmas and I threw him out of the house to go sleep in an airport terminal. I know she wouldn't remember, but it just pissed me off that he was now a grandparent and still couldn't behave. I really don't know why I expected better. I refused to have Christmas with them after this and when my daughter was 13, we finally went NC with the pair of them. Should have done it much sooner. I used to really envy the kind of Christmas you used to see on the ads and I always joked the Argos ad was my gold standard! I love Christmas now and I hope I am doing it right because my teenage girls seem to love it too.

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WineAway · 06/12/2021 01:20

Christmas hasn’t started for me until my eldest sister calls me a c**t & says the world would be a better place if I was dead. I have no idea what causes her to say this. We go out with another sister, she is fine then towards the end of the evening explodes. If she despises me do much I have no idea why she even talks to me.

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