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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think sister's family shouldn't self isolate with elderly parents over christmas?

61 replies

antigenrapidtest · 05/12/2021 18:03

My sister and her husband, and their children come over to the UK for christmas every year. Obviously covid meant that they couldn't last year. They live in Vienna so would need to do all sorts of covid tests when coming over.

They have flights booked to the UK on Christmas eve. The new testing rules mean that they would have to self isolate until their day 2 test came back. Because it's Christmas, it could take longer than usual.

They stay with my elderly parents (84 and 86). This would mean that they would have to self isolate too, until the results came back. So firstly there is the risk of covid being brought to their house.

But secondly. It would mean that my children wouldn't be able to see their grandparents on Christmas day/Boxing day etc. I raised this with my parents and they didn't seem massively concerned, and said we would manage something and just meet outside in the garden (not allowed if self isolating).

AIBU to think they shouldn't self isolate with them over christmas? or am I being a bit selfish as I get to see my parents all year round, as I didn't decide to move to Austria.

OP posts:
MrsColon · 05/12/2021 18:06

Assuming you get to see your parents all year, YABU - they've not seen their other daughter or GC for a very long time. Time for you to step back a bit and let them see each other, you'll be able to see them later in the holidays.

Original poster
antigenrapidtest · 05/12/2021 18:07

Oh they have seen each other. My sister and family were over last month. But appreciate your view : -)

OP posts:
2pinkginsplease · 05/12/2021 18:07

I think they should self isolate in a hotel until results are back.

Why should you miss out on your parents on Christmas day!

IAmHereForTheFood · 05/12/2021 18:08

as I didn't decide to move to Austria

That’s the bit that makes you sound really selfish tbh, especially if it’s been nearly 2 years since they’ve seen DP, but you can see them any time as you live closer.

Chloemol · 05/12/2021 18:08

Bearing in mind what’s happening in Austria, ie they are in lockdown will they even get here?

If they do come over and your parents are not bothered leave them to it

You have a nice Christmas just your family

SparklingLime · 05/12/2021 18:09

It’s not self-isolating if they are exposing others at the same time! YANBU.

GreenClock · 05/12/2021 18:09

It’s up to your parents really. They must miss their DC and grandchildren, and are probably looking forward to seeing them at Christmas on any basis. Leave them to it OP.

Idontevenknow · 05/12/2021 18:10

I think its really up to your parents and what they are comfortable with/ want to do.

RedskyThisNight · 05/12/2021 18:11

I agree with PP - I think it's more important they see their child that they don't see very frequently (and presumably even less frequently than usual over the last couple of years?) than your family. You can always see them on the 23rd or just after Christmas and have a second celebration. It's hardly a big deal you can't see them on Christmas Day itself.

Didiusfalco · 05/12/2021 18:11

I think you are really. Presumably it’s easier for you to see them the rest of the time and it will be nice for your parents to see their other daughter. I’m not convinced the chances of them getting covid from Vienna are much different from getting it here, particularly if they are vaccinated and have had a booster.

ludocris · 05/12/2021 18:11

It's not a day two test, you have to do a test within two days, so they could do it at the airport if they book it in advance. Still unlikely
to get results in time for Christmas Day though.

I think YABU. If your parents are ok with it then it's not really your place to complain, especially as you get to see them any time you like.

MattHancocksSexTape · 05/12/2021 18:11

What do your parents want?

SarahMused · 05/12/2021 18:12

You can get your day two test straight away when you arrive. Even when landing at the airport in some places. It doesn’t have to be on day two. They could be out of isolation within 24 hours if they are organised so no need for the whole of Christmas to be disrupted anyway.

Joban · 05/12/2021 18:13

It’s up to your parents and you do sound petty as heck really.
I can understand more if the concern was your elderly parents catching covid off them (although frankly just as likely to catch it off anyone else including your family really) , but it seems to be about you having Christmas how you want it.

Can’t you have a Christmas just your nuclear family? See grandparents during the festive period before or after ?

Ourlady · 05/12/2021 18:15

They should be isolating away from anybody else surely? Plus they are putting your elderly parents at risk staying in the same house as them. I think it's a selfish thing to do.

Serenschintte · 05/12/2021 18:15

Life is to short. They have to test before they leave. Just meet up. The rules are crazy.
Presumably your parents are vaccinated and boosted so they are as safe as they can be.
I live abroad - part of the awfulness of Covid is that you never know if you will be able to see your family or not. So I really don’t blame your sister and family for coming over. I would but the costs of tests is prohibitively expensive because of the sheer number that now have to be done.

For another poster @Chloemol I’m in a neighboring European country and even in lockdown we were never banned from foreign travel. Unlike the uk.

Just10moreminutesplease · 05/12/2021 18:15

I think you’re being a bit selfish. You and your parents can see each other all through the year. Their time with your sister and her children is far more limited.

HeddaGarbled · 05/12/2021 18:16

This bloody pandemic has been so difficult for everyone. Don’t make it more difficult for your family by stirring up trouble. Let them make the choices and compromises they need to cope with this shitty situation.

ohlordabove · 05/12/2021 18:16

Do your parents have to isolate with them? Only I have family who came over to the UK earlier in the year to stay with a friend, and although they had to isolate, she didn't. It might be the rules have changed and I'm not up to date, but bearing in mind your parents (assuming double jabbed) wouldn't have to isolate if someone in their house HAD covid, I can't see why they'd need to in this situation.

DebIr · 05/12/2021 18:18

Easy to get results within 24 hours using a drive through. No requirement for anyone to isolate unless they travelled so your parents don’t need to isolate.

InTheLabyrinth · 05/12/2021 18:19

Are you sure your parents need to isolate with them?

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 05/12/2021 18:20

Ummm I’m guessing you and your children are grandparents much more regularly so I’d let your parents decide

MrzClaus · 05/12/2021 18:20

Hi OP! We've booked our PCR test to do at the airport, via randox - test results back by midnight (latest!) the day after. If they can do this, it would mean they'd be back in time for you to go round in Boxing Day if they're negative 😊

authenticforgery · 05/12/2021 18:20

You sound petty and bratty.

OnAWobblyFence · 05/12/2021 18:21

So firstly there is the risk of covid being brought to their house.

But not if you were going to visit them on Christmas Day? It looks like double standards. You are suggesting that your sister is potentially bringing COVID into their house (but they can’t bring it if they don’t have it - they will need to have negative tests pre-departure to fly to the UK) but you want to see your parents but don’t mention any risk of you bringing COVID to their house.

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