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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is embarrassing isn't it

79 replies

ohmyohmyactual · 05/12/2021 13:53

Children playing league football and parents calling out to the ref constantly calling for decisions and getting generally arsey with them?

It's happened a few times but this week was a parent on our team and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

It's embarrassing isn't it?

Be honest, are any of you or or husbands like this?!

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 05/12/2021 14:04

Why are you so embarrassed about what another parent does? They’re not even a friend - just someone whose child plays for the same team. Zero reflection on you.

HangingDitch · 05/12/2021 14:06

@WomanStanleyWoman

Why are you so embarrassed about what another parent does? They’re not even a friend - just someone whose child plays for the same team. Zero reflection on you.
Eh? You never get embarrassed for other people? Or cringe at stuff something else has done?

OP, you’re right - some parents at the football are an embarrassment to themselves, their kids and society generally. It’s not the bloody Champions League.

Row1n · 05/12/2021 14:07

Yeah its awful, and very embaresing for them that they cant control themselves

DreamerSeven · 05/12/2021 14:11

It’s very common in football, you’d better get used to it I’m afraid! Not saying it’s right but it’s how it is.

WomanStanleyWoman · 05/12/2021 14:13

Eh? You never get embarrassed for other people? Or cringe at stuff something else has done?

Why would I? Maybe if it was my partner or a family member, and their actions meant I was actively involved in an unpleasant scene. But a virtual stranger getting a bit shouty at a football game? Wanting ‘the ground to swallow you up’ over that is a ridiculous overreaction.

TeachesOfPeaches · 05/12/2021 14:16

My 5 year old plays Rugby and the dads are horrific. Literally on the pitch screaming at their children aged 4 and 5. Embarrassing and annoying.

IslaInthesun · 05/12/2021 14:32

I've never been embarrassed for someone else. Why would I be?

Fet2021duejuly2022 · 05/12/2021 14:50

Totally cringe op 😬

Original poster
ohmyohmyactual · 05/12/2021 15:08

I'm almost too ashamed to even say on here but it was my DH.

I'm so disappointed in him and feel like were probably going to be judged by the other parents.

OP posts:
housemaus · 05/12/2021 15:14

@ohmyohmyactual

I'm almost too ashamed to even say on here but it was my DH.

I'm so disappointed in him and feel like were probably going to be judged by the other parents.

My friend refers to these dads as 'the ones who never made it in football so they act like their kid is the next Messi to live vicariously through them'. Tell him he's embarrassing himself and your kid, maybe he'll grow up.

On the other hand - the worst thing the other parents will think is that he's being a bit of a knob. There are worse things to be judged for and you can always roll your eyes long-sufferingly at a nearby mum so they know you're aware he's being ridiculous Grin

Stiffcondomhat · 05/12/2021 15:17

I used to do junior coaching. Parents are awful.

MrsBungle · 05/12/2021 15:21

Your dh should be ashamed of himself. It’s pathetic. Our local league has a campaign on at the moment to really try and clampdown on this. Teams will ultimately be thrown out of the league if the parents continue to do this. Most of the time the referees are teenage kids themselves and it’s completely out of order some of the shit they get.

MultiStorey · 05/12/2021 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ohmyohmyactual · 05/12/2021 15:29

I absolutely told him to stop and that he was getting boring now.

The ref was a bit goady but that is no excuse.

We're both a bit grumpy with each at the moment.

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 05/12/2021 15:30

God it’s excruciating. I get second hand embarrassment for these people

FitAt50 · 05/12/2021 15:33

@IslaInthesun

I've never been embarrassed for someone else. Why would I be?
Because you are human?
Clearlynotmyname · 05/12/2021 15:41

Ugh, cringe. If DH did that he'd be getting a very sharp elbow in the side

InFiveMins · 05/12/2021 15:45

Extremely embarrassing.

Tell your DH to grow up and stop embarrassing himself.

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 05/12/2021 15:52

My DF used to coach a children's team and then went on to referee in a couple of youth leagues, he gave it to because of the level of abuse and threats he got from parents. He had to abandon matches more than once and I remember one occasion when I was watching my brother play, police being called because two dads (both from the same team!) were fighting. It's awful. DF went on to referee adult matches at a fairly reasonable level and still says there was more trouble in the youth leagues.

dumdedumpop · 05/12/2021 15:54

I feel for you OP as your DH was behaving like a knob. I hate parents like that but you see them at pretty much every grassroots match in one shape or another.
We've had two families removed from teams at my DC's Club recently for unacceptable behaviour by the parents pitch-side. I feel so sorry for the kids, they are the ones that lose out, but the club did the right thing by making it clear there are consequences for this type of behaviour.

I agree with the poster above, who said that often those dads are the ones who desperately wanted to make it themselves but never did, so now they are living through their kids. Very sad indeed.

Cofifeefee · 05/12/2021 15:54

I wouldn't be embarrassed if another parent did this but I would be if it was my DH and I wouldn't tolerate it.

This type of stuff is hitting the headlines in Ireland where an entire under-age league was cancelled a few weekends ago because refs refused to participate due to the abuse they get from parents. Often, the refs are only teenagers themselves. It's disgusting behaviour and requires far more than an eye roll.

BeautifulBirds · 05/12/2021 15:55

This used to happen 15+ yrs ago at kids football. The refs used to get so fed up of it they stopped the game. It got so bad they struggled to find refs. Eventually, the idiot parents, were told not to come anymore.

DementedPanda · 05/12/2021 15:58

My dc plays, sometimes a particular dad gets carried away and we just laugh at him and tell him to pipe down. It's a lovely squad tho and we all get along great parents and kids. I look forward to it. Some of these stories tho! Shock we've just moved up four divisions in this league so the games are very competitive esp Cup games but we've never experienced this from either team side .

DementedPanda · 05/12/2021 15:59

I should add the parent that gets told to pipe down just laughs at himself 🤣

TurquoiseDragon · 05/12/2021 16:00

I am so glad that when I was at school, parents didn't come along to our hockey matches.

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