Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish schools would scrap Christmas jumper day?

408 replies

Notspeakingup · 04/12/2021 17:59

DC2 has a couple of little classmates with difficult home lives, one in particular without much money. There are some Christmas jumper days coming up and I have been thinking about how tough it must be to always be the child with no jumper.

I know as children grow up you can't avoid the inequalities but it would be great if we could at least stop it being an issue at primary school. (And of course there are the families who buy jumpers when they can't really afford them).

OP posts:
DailyMailHater · 04/12/2021 21:14

Our school ask for donations of outgrown xmas jumpers and sell them after school for £2 on the run up to the day. My sons xmas jumper has come from one of these sales every single year and then been washed and returned back to the school to be sold again.
(The money is added to the donations on the day and sent to save the children)

JustLyra · 04/12/2021 21:16

I suppose if the 'uniform' was plain, comfy casual unbranded clothing, perhaps in a small selection of colours, it would hopefully be more inclusive while not being a uniform of the 'mini business suit' style.

This is what DD's HT brought in during lockdown. She didn't want people buying uniform that might not get worn when we didn't know when schools would be open.

So she asked parents to buy black or grey comfortable trousers/shorts/skirt (inc joggers, leggings or anything comfy), white or red polo or tshirt, then black/grey/red jumper, hoodie or cardi so that kids would have a comfortable outfit and parents could make use of it if they were not at school for long in the year. She's kept it in place until the summer.

She's sent out a consultation where she'd like to keep that in place long term, with also the option of smarter (but still not branded or £25 for a kilt type) trousers/skirt/shorts, white shirt, school tie, plus cardi or jumper for those who prefer.

She's getting a lot of flak from some parents and a couple of the governors, which is a shame as a lot of the children from less well off homes stand out much less currently, and that is lovely.

Aphrodite31 · 04/12/2021 21:16

@DailyMailHater

Our school ask for donations of outgrown xmas jumpers and sell them after school for £2 on the run up to the day. My sons xmas jumper has come from one of these sales every single year and then been washed and returned back to the school to be sold again. (The money is added to the donations on the day and sent to save the children)
I was going to say there should be something like this. And the teacher probably knows which kids might not have a jumper and could quietly check/help.
Mooscow · 04/12/2021 21:16

I refuse to buy new jumpers that they'll only wear for a few days. They wear normal jumpers and then DD will decorate with a Christmassy necklace and teenage DS doesn't seem to care that much what he looks like so will just wear a normal jumper. It's not as if they're going to be told off!

lanthanum · 04/12/2021 21:16

DD's school did a "wear something festive" day - it could be a jumper, or some tinsel, or a santa hat, or whatever. That seems a bit easier.

I'm so glad the Christmas jumper thing hadn't taken off when DD was at primary. There are at least now a lot of secondhand ones being passed on, but it's still another thing to be organised, and you're not always going to be able to get hold of one cheaply.

Lulu1919 · 04/12/2021 21:20

Mine have Xmas t shirts from primark...then wear long sleeve top under
But agree...
Hate any dressing up 🤣

JustLyra · 04/12/2021 21:21

Also, nobody's getting penalised for wearing a normal winter jumper over one with a snowflake pattern.

It is, however, another highlighter for some children that they don't have what their friends have.

Christmas time is (imo) the worst time of year for children when it comes to being constantly hit in the face with their inequality to their peers.

It starts with advent calendars and then goes on for well over a month - jumpers, trips to see Santa, days out to the pop-up ice rink/Christmas market etc. Then after Christmas is all about the presents and what you did over the holidays.

Schools can't take the inequalities away, but at least during the day the chat about who got what and did what is limited by school activities. Children don't need a constant reminder when they look at Billy's flashing jumper, or Mary sporting the funny Aldi jumper of the year, or the other kid with a bit of tinsel attached to a normal jumper, that they are either a have or a have not.

BoredZelda · 04/12/2021 21:25

I know as children grow up you can't avoid the inequalities but it would be great if we could at least stop it being an issue at primary school.

It’s already an issue at primary school. Was long before Christmas jumper day and will be when it falls out of fashion.

As with everything else, the good schools will make it inclusive. My daughter didn’t take part until she joined Glee club in P5 and they did various shows throughout Christmas so we didn’t mind buying the jumper, it was well worn. In P1 I made her a hideous Christmas badge and she loved it so much I had to do one every year. The school had a stock of Christmas jumpers for kids that wanted them.

Beseen22 · 04/12/2021 21:27

Our school has a real mix of pupils and are well funded due to this. They get donations for 3 weeks and children who need them are given a Christmas jumper. There are a few non uniform events throughout Dec including a party clothes day but its usually done pretty sensitively (either Christmas jumper or pjs)

RodneyIsDave · 04/12/2021 21:27

Norma sweater and sew a few baubles and tinsel on it. I do it for work Xmas jumper day.

BoredZelda · 04/12/2021 21:27

It is, however, another highlighter for some children that they don't have what their friends have.

These kids feel it every day regardless of Christmas jumper day. To focus on it as an issue is pointless virtue signalling.

Welcometothejingles · 04/12/2021 21:30

@isthismylifenow

And what about the families who don't celebrate Christmas? Do they just go along with it so the DC are not feeling left out? .
Anybody can wear a winter themed jumper with a snowman, penguin, Snowflake or penguin etc. You don't have to be a Christian to wear those, I'd assume none Christians would avoid father Christmas etc. Although Christmas has become a very secular festival and a vast majority of those celebrating probably aren't officially practicing Christian. So it doesn't matter really.
BoredZelda · 04/12/2021 21:31

Penalised? No. Open to bullying? Yep.

If kids are getting bullied for it, they are getting bullied for the rest of the year too.

foxgoosefinch · 04/12/2021 21:32

H&M or Tesco often have some on the £3 sale rail in the summer, I find.

If schools are going to do it then they ought to make it any own clothes, and at least have a couple of spare or some tinsel and festive deely boppers for kids who don’t have any or forget. Not all of the kids want to wear a Christmas jumper either!

KateInHappyland · 04/12/2021 21:32

YANBU, I wish everywhere would. We're doing it at work, so there's the expectation to buy one as well as a £15 Secret Santa!

I can't help but think there are a lot of people who couldn't afford these things, especially at an already expensive time of year and especially when it involves children who will end up feeling left out.

I love the idea of having them decorate paper Christmas hats or something as a class. It's fun, creative and something they can all enjoy.

JustLyra · 04/12/2021 21:32

@BoredZelda

It is, however, another highlighter for some children that they don't have what their friends have.

These kids feel it every day regardless of Christmas jumper day. To focus on it as an issue is pointless virtue signalling.

No, it's not pointless virtue signalling.

Schools are limited in what they can do.

They can, and thankfully many are, scrap stupidly expensive uniforms with bollocks like £40 for trousers in a slightly different shade of grey to the supermarket.

And they can also do it by massively minimising the number of days that they emphasise the differences. This is one of them.
The fact it is there every day isn't a reason to just shrug it off and have another day where the poor kid the only one in uniform or the only one in the ill fitting borrowed top that everyone saw the teacher lending them.

FinallyMrsE · 04/12/2021 21:33

Our school does a non uniform day and they can wear Christmas colours if they wish instead of jumper day and ask us to make a donation to the local food bank if we can so nobody has to worry about finding the £1 either.

JustLyra · 04/12/2021 21:33

@BoredZelda

Penalised? No. Open to bullying? Yep.

If kids are getting bullied for it, they are getting bullied for the rest of the year too.

So what's your suggestion?

Just ignore it and let the kids missing out just miss out on more?

Elephantsparade · 04/12/2021 21:33

I find the dress up relevant to the topic days seem to leave kids out more thinking about this. Parents either buy costumes or make quite elaborate stuff so anyone with no money or time is stuck and these are much shorter notice.

Notspeakingup · 04/12/2021 21:36

It’s already an issue at primary school. Was long before Christmas jumper day and will be when it falls out of fashion.

Which doesn't mean things can't be changed? Like you say yourself, many schools do try to make school life inclusive. Although these well intentioned schemes/etc to have jumpers available, they don't entirely deal with the shame.

OP posts:
BettyOBarley · 04/12/2021 21:37

Yes I agree. I think Christmas in general in primary schools is too expensive.
I mean obviously it's lovely for the kids, but so far we've had £15 for the nativity video as we can't go to it, £5 for the Christmas fair, Christmas jumper day coming up so you need to buy the jumper and then pay £1 for the priviledge of wearing it, a non uniform day last week where we had to bring a bottle or sweets so that's another few quid, nativity outfit to buy... and that's just one school, I have kids in two schools. That's before feeling like you have to buy gifts for teachers etc.
Some families must be so completely stressed out by it.

Notspeakingup · 04/12/2021 21:38

How on earth is it virtue signalling??

OP posts:
LazySundayPlease · 04/12/2021 21:40

We were told on Tuesday last week that Friday would be 'bright clothes' day and the following Friday 'Christmas jumper day'. Absolutely ridiculous when we have 2 children in the school.

I 100% agree. Our usually very sensitive headmistress has really lapsed by not putting her foot down on this with the PTA (run by someone who doesn't even have children at the school anymore!)

ronniz · 04/12/2021 21:42

I think non uniform can't happen in isolation though. My guess is it works in Sweden because there is less inequality.

Lots of EU countries don't have school uniform.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 21:44

But I don't think clothes are seen in the same way eg as a status symbol but maybe that's because we have uniform in the UK whereas when you are non uniform day in day out it's comfort & practicality.