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Original poster

Selling your home to pay for your care in your old age

462 replies

BlueCarnation · 04/12/2021 14:47

Please explain why this is such an issue? I’m not from the UK but have worked and lived here for about 10 years. The amount of financial help the government provides is incredible and I’m still amazed by it after being here for so long. NHS, schools, SMP, different types of benefits, child credits etc. My country provides absolute no help like that for it’s residents.

One thing I can’t get my head around is the outrage people feel regarding paying for your own care when you’re older. A few weeks ago there was a news special where people were upset that their parents had to sell their homes to go into care. Surely that’s the point of years of hard work - so that when the time comes you have sufficient money? If I recall correctly, a woman said she would no longer be able to live in her mums house and would be homeless. Her mum was already in a care home but needed extra specialised care ( I think she had dementia) which government support was not enough for. The daughter said the house would need to be sold and her mum would have been devastated if she knew her home was being used to pay for her care. Why is that wrong or unfair?

Can you explain if you cannot live safely in your house anymore why shouldn’t the proceeds from your house sale be used to care for you until death? Why are adult children so up in arms at the thought of that? I don’t understand.

OP posts:
BeautifulBirds · 04/12/2021 16:15

Because people who chose not to work, that get handouts all their life, thanks to my hard work and my relatives hard work. Then at the end of life get the same level of care that costs my family £1k a week, for free! That's why I get cross.

Cucumberpitta · 04/12/2021 16:15

@Sweetpeasaremadeforbees

People make choices in life - you either save or spend - it’s your choice. You know the score, so you make a decision.

The thing is I don't think people do know the score. A lot of people assume that with no money, councils will just pick up the bill and I don't think that is true. Councils will fund the bare minimum to keep you safe. Your quality of life is irrelevant to them. We all hear about the council funded carers who spend literally 15 mins getting someone out of bed but have no time to stop and chat. Paying for that yourself gets you someone who will stay for as long as you pay them for.

Actually, unless you are a millionaire, your money would be quickly eaten up by the costs of home carers. It's very expensive.
whywouldntyou · 04/12/2021 16:16

@ItsDinah

The problem is that if you don't own your own home or other assets, your care will be paid for by the government. If someone is very wealthy this won't bother them. If someone has scrimped and worked hard to acquire savings/house, they will feel hard done by if they have to pay while someone who had similar earnings but did not save does not. This is particularly so as in many parts of the UK, private payers have to pay as much as double what the local authority pays for exactly the same care and accommodation in the same care home. They are in effect subsidising the publicly funded.
This!! People are pissed off at the UNFAIRNESS of it. Scrimp and save to buy a house to leave something for your children, get bugger all help with care costs. Live a life of debauchery and have no savings and the state pays it all. A bit extreme but you get the gist.
ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:17

Many people can't buy a home now without a gift or inheritance from family & a lot of it stems from that. Or housing is used to fund retirement because of a small or no pension.

cptartapp · 04/12/2021 16:17

Live £96 a day for 24/7 care, food, gas, electric, council tax, water, staff training and insurances, cleaning, management and admin staff, sick pay, pensions, equipment servicing and maintenance (and grounds maintenance), refurbishment, activities etc etc. For £4 an hour. My DC nursery cost more 18 years ago.

IncompleteSenten · 04/12/2021 16:17

Because we have the luxury of state support and therefore have grown to feel we have a right to be taken care of in our old age on the grounds that we have taken care of ourselves in our working life and contributed to the services we use in the form of taxes.

I think that is going to change with time though. People are going to have to accept that you are as responsible for taking care of yourself at 90 as you are at 20 and you need to make provision for that over your entire working life if you can.

There will always be people who simply cannot and we should protect that safety net for those people.

Thursdaymiami · 04/12/2021 16:18

@Starcup
I don’t own a house. I can’t afford to.
Does that mean I am lazy ? Or that I had bad luck and you had good luck. Should I not get any care when I’m older even though I will have paid tax and NI all my life.

How many people are there out there that have been claiming from the state and contributing absolutely zero from the day they were born till the day they died.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:18

I don't have too much of an issue with it but I think care in the home should be funded in that matter too not just care out of the home.

Comedycook · 04/12/2021 16:18

@BeautifulBirds

Because people who chose not to work, that get handouts all their life, thanks to my hard work and my relatives hard work. Then at the end of life get the same level of care that costs my family £1k a week, for free! That's why I get cross.
Well don't work then, live on benefits and you can enjoy everything they do!
ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:21

I recognise that those don't have anything don't have to pay but what's the solution, we don't help them?

panachronic · 04/12/2021 16:21

@Thursdaymiami

I hate this country sometimes. We are so awful to each other. What should some feckless cunt get someone helping them wipe their arse when they’re old. THEY DONT DESERVE IT I made thousands on a house going up in value, therefore I am superior to these lazy fucking arseholes. Bring back the workhouses seems to be the gist of a lot of people. Lazy people shouldn’t have dignity in old age. Just wow
Totally agree with you, this thread is very depressing in it's tone. Very judgemental.
NannyGythaOgg · 04/12/2021 16:22

For me it is because I don't want to live in a care home.

When I am no longer able to be independent I want the choice to safely and painlessly end my life and am willing to pay a reasonable sum to do so. The state decrees I am not allowed to choose that I no longer want to live (unless I choose solitary suicide by unpredictable means).

Why should my house be sold to pay for care that I don't want.

cptartapp · 04/12/2021 16:22

Or spend your money, give it away. Minimise it at least. Dont be cross because you've lost the gamble and other people's lifestyle choices lead to different outcomes than your choices do for you.

Florianus · 04/12/2021 16:22

@Chely

Many sign their houses over to their children to avoid this. Work hard and pay taxes for most of your life then have to sell your assets to pay for care. A person who paid little to nothing gets the same care free of charge because they have no assets.
I'm afraid that people who rely on the council to fund their care will get nothing like the same care as self-funders. Councils will only pay the minimum possible and will pay nothing like the amount charged by providers such as Barchester.
ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:22

Because the person next door who's never worked lives for free in the same care home

But I pay for prescriptions & don't get CB the man next door may get them free & not work. It's just the way it is.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:24

Why should care in old age be treated (funded) any differently than say cancer treatment in a much younger person?

But that older person may have had cancer when younger too. An older person will cost more it's just the way it is.

cptartapp · 04/12/2021 16:25

Interestingly, after many years as a district nurse in and out of care homes, some of the best care was found in local authority homes. In the huge, grand providers there was very often no staff to be found.

BigWoollyJumpers · 04/12/2021 16:25

So basically contribute fuck all and piss your money away state pay
Be sensible contribute loads and in return state give you fuck all

That's how progressive modern societies work. The well off subsidise the less well off in all manner of things, including social care. The alternative is the work house, which the Victorians thought was very generous at the time, and they rarely lived very long, but I think everyone would accept that we have come a long way from that!

ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:26

If housing prices were more realistic I don't think it would be such a contentious issue.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:27

No government is going to introduce a solely tax-payer funded care system, it would kill them in an election if everyone's income tax raised by, say, 15%

Any more tax increases can't just come from income.

Blossomtoes · 04/12/2021 16:28

@Bagamoyo1

There are care homes and there are care homes. Personally if the sale of my house gets me in a nice private home , rather than the grim state funded one down the road, then I’ll consider it a good investment. Of course not all private homes are good and not all state ones are grotty, but my extensive experience of visiting care homes leads me to think it’s a fairly common situation .
This. If I go into a care home I won’t need my house any more. I haven’t worked hard for the increased value of my house, the market’s done that while I’ve sat back and watched. I want the best care home available and I’m perfectly happy to pay for it.
Prokupatuscrakedatus · 04/12/2021 16:29

What about those people who work incredibly hard without ever being able to get a mortgage and buy a house? A lot of them providing services you - in your "I worked hard all my life -little world" - would not want to do without but are to mean to pay for properly either directly or via taxes?

ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:29

Owning a house is not unearned income. We pay thousands above loan cost in interest by the time you pay your mortgage off. We work hard to EARN that money to pay our mortgages. So calling a house unearned income is grossly unfair.

I think they are referring to the house doubling in value examples.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 16:31

When the NHS was set up it was advertised as care from the cradle to the grave.

We also have a ageing population & a shrinking tax paying one so it's not sustainable

logsonlogsoff · 04/12/2021 16:32

Because the NHS - as it was set up - was intended to look after our population from cradle to grave and that's what we're used to. We pay high-ish taxes to fund this so expect in return.
My US relatives are baffled by the amount of help we can get, and the free healthcare etc. I get grilled about it every time I see them. They can't quite believe it.
We're very lucky.