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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BYO bedding

75 replies

Oneliner · 03/12/2021 21:26

My in-laws think it is normal to bring your own bedding when going to stay overnight at someone else's house. Their reasoning is that this saves the host the trouble of doing the laundry. I think this is nuts and have never come across it before. AIBU?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 03/12/2021 21:27

Maybe they just prefer their own. I know a few people like that. It’s fair enough.

Tal45 · 03/12/2021 21:27

Some AirBnB's do it - maybe they got the idea from there?

ChangeChingyChange · 03/12/2021 21:28

I think it's nice of them and you shouldn't judge them for it

ShirleyPhallus · 03/12/2021 21:28

I’d offer to bring bedding. So easy to pull a duvet off your own bed, put in an ikea bag and Chuck in the back of the car than the host bothering to make / strip a bed after someone staying there for just one night

I’d never ask someone to bring their own bedding but would be glad if they offered to bring it!

Viviennemary · 03/12/2021 21:28

No. You dont unless the host asks you to.

shouldistop · 03/12/2021 21:28

I don't see the problem. It does save the host a job.

Helenluvsrob · 03/12/2021 21:29

Entirely appropriate when visiting elderly parents / relatives surely

fluffiphlox · 03/12/2021 21:29

My sister in law does this. Towels also. ‘So as not to make work for you.’

Mum2jenny · 03/12/2021 21:29

Many older ppl do not like changing bedding as it can take time and they may struggle with duvet covers. Taking your own does solve the issue as they see it.

Daisy4569 · 03/12/2021 21:29

My family always have but I would never ask people to! They usually bring pillows and a duvet cover so just leaves the sheets to wash. I think it depends how long they are coming for though, for the sake of one night it’s useful but if someone was staying a week it doesn’t seem like so much effort.

Tee20x · 03/12/2021 21:29

Not normal unless host asks you to. Surely if you're having people over go stay you make up the room for them?

MrsMcCluskeysCat · 03/12/2021 21:30

Standard in my family (both people visiting us and us visiting others) as we normally have more people staying than beds available! If there's only 2 people staying we have bedding on the spare double bed but not other extra bedding as nowhere to keep it.

Tal45 · 03/12/2021 21:30

Do they want to bring their own to you or do they want you to bring your own to theirs? Does it include pillows and duvet or just coverings??

picklemewalnuts · 03/12/2021 21:31

It's really handy! I've asked or offered when there are a lot of us involved. Saves having to organise as many spare sets of bedding.

Definitely a family only thing, though. Or big house party thing! We had the IL's over for Christmas- two single males, and two couples joining the four of us. I really regretted not asking them to bring bedding! I could cobble together beds and sheets, but was struggling for pillows, duvets and covers.

Totalwasteofpaper · 03/12/2021 21:31

Utterly insane.

ChaosMoon · 03/12/2021 21:32

I've known it done and I've been happy to do it when asked. Normally when one person is hosting a larger group and it'll leave them with a lot of laundry. If find it a bit odd to do it unnamed, but it's no biggy.

Just10moreminutesplease · 03/12/2021 21:33

I offered to bring my own bedding when I stayed at my in-laws “to save them the hassle of making up the bed”.

They declined but it was manly because we had stopped at other of their family member’s houses before and the sheets were visibly dirty Xmas Envy.

Maybe they are worried about stinky bedding? Grin

CelebrateAndDream · 03/12/2021 21:34

Wouldn't bother me 🤷‍♀️ (I'd be grateful for the lack of washing tbh 🤣)

I always take my own pillows everywhere...just because they are so comfy and I can't bear to sleep with uncomfortable pillows.

Original poster
Oneliner · 03/12/2021 21:35

They bring the whole lot; duvet, pillows and sheets. It varies though sometimes they offer to bring two sheets to sleep between. They don't expect it of other people visiting them, but do appreciate it.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 03/12/2021 21:36

It’s not normal with my friends and family. But hey, if people want to bring it - whatever works for them.

The only exception was we stayed at an Airbnb last summer and they asked us to bring our own due to covid regulations, but otherwise I’m happy to make up a bed for my guests and generally vice versa.

greenlynx · 03/12/2021 21:39

I did this in the past when visiting MIL, it’s just extra bag for me in the car but much less hassle for her. I also allergic to some washing powder so safer for me.
My sister used to do the same when visiting me when DD was newborn. It’s very tricky time and I needed all practical help I could get.
I wouldn’t ask my visitors to do this now but might take my own pillowcases with me because of washing powder.

Shadedog · 03/12/2021 21:41

I do when we all go and stay at my mums, otherwise she’d have 7 beds to strip and wash after we leave (or rather I’d have to strip and wash everything and find places to hang it all on departure morning and she’d have to make up the beds again and tell me a million times that she’s going to have to make up the beds, which beds she’s done, which still needs doing, how many pillow cases are missing, how much ironing there was). It’s a pita job. Also house parties of the sleep on the floor where there is a space type- who on earth has that much spare bedding? Maybe the queen
Just a single person or a couple I wouldn’t bother.

lololololollll · 03/12/2021 21:43

I take my own pillow. Nothing compares

dohrgitdb · 03/12/2021 21:43

Very thoughtful!

Isabellabasil · 03/12/2021 21:44

Not heard of this but I was taught to strip the bed in the morning when staying with friends/family- doesn't save them washing but does mean they don't have to take your sheets off the bed. When I am hosting I would never ask guests to do said sheets-stripping, but I appreciate it if they do.