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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

BYO bedding

75 replies

Oneliner · 03/12/2021 21:26

My in-laws think it is normal to bring your own bedding when going to stay overnight at someone else's house. Their reasoning is that this saves the host the trouble of doing the laundry. I think this is nuts and have never come across it before. AIBU?

OP posts:

ShirleyPhallus · 03/12/2021 22:20

@EatYourVegetables

Do you also bring your own plates and cutlery to eat with, and then take them home dirty to save the hosts the job of washing up?

Yes, and i take my own loo roll then keep it in a little ziplock bag once used and dispose of at home

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/12/2021 22:22

No, just rude. You invite people, you accommodate them.

Sparklingbrook · 03/12/2021 22:23

@MrsSkylerWhite

No, just rude. You invite people, you accommodate them.

How is it rude?

PrincessPaws · 03/12/2021 22:24

Pillows, duvets and towels - don't see anything wrong with that! Then the host only has a sheet to wash.

TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY · 03/12/2021 22:24

i do this at holiday places
caravan parks, theme parks, travel lodges etc
ive done is hundreds of times over the last 11 years.
i did it years before we know why(disabilities etc)

i have to though as ive a child with sensory issues and will only tolerates 100% brushed cotton and teddy bear bedding.

ive even taken a full quilt set abroad many times.
ive never stayed with family but if i did i would do this also

ladygindiva · 03/12/2021 22:28

I like an extremely thin bed cover, but cannot sleep without a cover at all, so I could imagine myself doing this if I wasn't sure the hosts weren't going to put a super thick duvet on my bed.

Ragwort · 03/12/2021 22:28

What about if the guest invites themselves ? . I like going to stay at my brother's house, it's in a lovely part of the country, nice and quiet and I can really relax there ... he is single person, no kids. He doesn't exactly 'invite' me to stay, I ask if I can go and to make things easier I take my own bed linen and do the shopping and cooking. I get a lovely cheap holiday and he is not bothered about extra washing, cooking etc. Suits us both!

Gilly12345 · 03/12/2021 22:29

I don’t see your problem, it is a nice gesture of them.

lebkuchenforxmas · 03/12/2021 22:31

Pre-DC, hosting included providing bedding, towels, home made cake on arrival, delicious three course meal with a selection of desserts. This continued until the DC were toddlers.
Now I've stopped feeling the need to impress and would much rather that everyone - including me - has a good time. We're often get takeaway or at least a selection of pre-prepared desserts, I'll asks guests (at least those coming by car) to bring towels and, if they want to bring bedding, that is a bonus. This is partly because I am a slattern by MN standards and so wouldn't usually wash towels after one use so it seems a bit of a waste to do so with towels used by guests.

Hydrate · 03/12/2021 22:35

@Oneliner

Pre covid. We bring/brought ours to one particular house as they have non-cotton, hot sheets, wool blankets and use scented laundry detergent. Plus theirs had a mildewy odor. They know we bring pillows, just not about the rest.

BrilliantBetty · 03/12/2021 22:36

It would never occur to me to bring my own bedding! Or for someone else to bring their own to my house.

I guess it would be handy if there were several people staying and I perhaps didn't have enough bedding. For example 2 adults with 3 kids, I'd struggle to cater for in the pillow dpt. But generally we only have 1 person staying and I always make up a bed with bedding for them.

JudgeJ · 03/12/2021 22:42

@shouldistop

I don't see the problem. It does save the host a job.

I seem to recall a Radio 4 programme years ago where it was said that it's very common in Sweden for guests to take sheets and duvets. When there is going to be a houseful staying here I'm usually asked if I need them to bring bedding and I say No, but it would be helpful if you could bring a towel or two, We're all now 'of an age' and I really don't want to be buying loads of new towels other than those I need.

Hydrate · 03/12/2021 22:48

Oh yeah, I forgot...when our adult offspring were small, and so were their off spring,. the house bursting with kids, parents, 5 cats and several dogs, we openly brought sleeping bags for the kids, and we always brought towels too. Their washing machine at that time was an old wringer type and no dryer so we would not burden them with all that.

SturminsterNewton · 03/12/2021 22:52

I always take my sleeping bag if it's only for a night!

janj2301 · 03/12/2021 22:59

Apparently Will Smith takes his own bed linen to hotels and makes his own bed!!

USaYwHatNow · 03/12/2021 23:03

Possibly a generation thing? My great-aunt (early 60's) often offers to dog sit and would always offer to bring her own bedding, which I told her wasn't necessary, but I guess they like to offer?

thamesriviera · 03/12/2021 23:03

I've got no problem with supplying my own bedding and towels, I like my own things. But not if I was travelling by train, plane, bus... Easy enough to throw an extra bag into the car but imagine lugging a huge bag of bedding on the train?!

Doingtheboxerbeat · 03/12/2021 23:06

I have never ever heard of this in my life and I think it would be a pain in the arse for someone who is travelling by train/coach etc.
TMI warning
There was this time though that I spent a drunken night at a relative of a friend's house (everyone was wasted - especially relative) and I came on my period unexpectedly, in a big way 😖- that was awkward as hell. I wish I had my own bedding then.

CoachBeardless · 03/12/2021 23:08

I've never come across this?!

We always freshly wash our guest room sheets.

But this sounds good, most of our guests are a pain in the arse.

vdbfamily · 03/12/2021 23:14

This is a great idea especially if like me you don't have a tumble dryer and especially if visiting for just a night or two. Trying to dry sheets and towels is a challenge in the winter and I am always delighted if people offer and I always would if going anywhere.

ICalledYouLastNightFromGlasgow · 03/12/2021 23:17

My in-laws do this. Partly because we have very different ideas on what makes good bedding etc but also to save me work. I am very grateful when they do but definitely found it a bit odd the first time

Lady1576 · 03/12/2021 23:23

I agree that it’s not what people normally do, but it’s a great idea. My mum does it when she stays at mine - used to cone over very spontaneously end it takes a lot of the hassle out of the visit. It’s a bit of a hassle to wash a set of bed linen that’s just had one night’s use, so if you bring your own duvet an pillows, you can easily chick em in the car then keep using them when you get home again and host only has to change the bed sheet.

Wombat69 · 03/12/2021 23:24

I have sensory issues so take my own bedding places. 😁

nocturnalstar · 04/12/2021 07:30

My in-laws are visiting this weekend and have brought their own microwave meals so as not to put us out with cooking... Now that's nuts.

PickleThePenguin · 04/12/2021 07:36

Normal within our family. It saves lots of washing especially if there are a lot of you staying.

I wouldn't ask or suggest to bring to bring bedding to anyone else though.

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