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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wear a bikini now I am a mum

89 replies

2piecetrouble · 02/12/2021 18:31

I am at Centre Parcs and it's my first time visiting since becoming a mum. I have noticed that about 95% of mums in the swimming pool are wearing a 1 piece swimming costume. I am in the minority as a mum wearing a bikini. Have I broken an unwritten mum rule?

OP posts:

Flamingolingo · 02/12/2021 18:57

I’ve never been able to get my flat stomach back after having kids. Admittedly I haven’t tried that hard and if I watched what I ate and exercised more it might come, but there is also a feeling that my abdomen has just sagged since having kids. I would feel quite self conscious in a bikini. But if you feel happy in one then that’s great. Good for you!!

Tibtab · 02/12/2021 18:59

I imagine it’s more that most Mums I know have body and self-esteem issues after having children. If you don’t then kudos to you, I’m not out to bash anyone, I wish I had the confidence and figure to wear a bikini still. I hate my post partum body.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/12/2021 19:01

A one piece is just more practical for centre parcs isn't it? Flumes, your kids pawing at your top etc just makes more sense

skgnome · 02/12/2021 19:01

Since my bikini tops (pre kids) used to be tiny triangles held in place by very thin straps of material, I found a one piece was better for an hour in the pool with kids - less risks of a wardrobe malfunction
If I go to the beach I will wear a 2 piece, since it’s easier for the toilet
Since I swim quite a bit my swimsuit is always easy to find, while my bikini tends to be at the back of the drawer…
In my case a 1 piece is about ease of finding it / avoid flashing everyone

EllieSattler · 02/12/2021 19:02

Aside from anything else, it is much more difficult for an older baby or toddler on your hip to reach over and pull a one piece aside, leaving a book hanging out, than it is for them to flash you from a bikini.

But seriously a tiny moment of thought would bring you to the realisation that many many women are uncomfortable with their bodies after having children.

liveforsummer · 02/12/2021 19:12

I only wear bikinis. Can't say I notice what others wear though.

MollysDolly · 02/12/2021 19:14

Ten years ago, after DS1 I wore swimsuits if I was swimming with him. But with my partner on holidays, only bikinis. Younger. Body confident.

Now? With DTwins. I wouldn't. I look perfectly ok in a bikini, but it's more that I, personally, associate a bikini with looking sexy. And that's not the way I want to think of myself if I'm swimming with two toddlers, DH and DS at Centre Parcs. If it was on holiday and I was lying on a beach, probably. Hurling down the rapids with three kids, bumping into twenty others on the way down, that's one piece territory for me.

gogohm · 02/12/2021 19:15

Wear what you want but generally (and nothing to do with being a mum) women wear one piece swimsuits in indoor swimming pools in Britain but bikinis when overseas or rare days warm enough for alfresco swimming (we live by the beach and I do wear a bikini to sea swim may- September, wetsuit now though). I'm guessing 90% of centreparcs inmates are parents (why else would you go ) so it's a case of where rather than parental status

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 02/12/2021 19:15

Swimsuits are less revealing with babies/toddlers/small kids hanging off you

My toddler would sit on my hip and flash one of my boobs to people. Swimsuit more sturdy.

Whatinthelord · 02/12/2021 19:16

I wear bikinis because I hate the leg shape on costumes.

I do think most mums wear costumes, I assume it’s either a fashion thing or to cover stomachs as it’s an area many don’t like.

I’m really not concerned about what my body looks like in the pool, but I know I’m lucky to feel so unbothered as many do.

Thinkbiglittleone · 02/12/2021 19:18

Absolutely not, you go for it ! and wear what you feel comfortable in.

Have a great time.

MollysDolly · 02/12/2021 19:20

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

Swimsuits are less revealing with babies/toddlers/small kids hanging off you

My toddler would sit on my hip and flash one of my boobs to people. Swimsuit more sturdy.

And massively this

Babdoc · 02/12/2021 19:23

Wear what you like, OP! I remember wearing a bikini when about 26 weeks pregnant with DD2, as I didn’t own a one piece at the time, and the bikini fitted comfortably under my bump. DD1 was about 13 months old at the time.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 02/12/2021 19:24

I wear swimming costumes because I am overweight - pre and post kids.

I think they are quite fashionable at the moment though so actually prefer the look of them to bikinis even if I was slim.

I’m sure you look lovely OP, I wouldn’t think any more about it.

KatieKat88 · 02/12/2021 19:25

Bikini as I can get the proper bra style tops so it actually fits properly and I don't have to be scared of flashing anyone! And then big bottoms that cover half my stomach I'm trying to care less about what I think others may think (because most don't give a shit about what I wear anyway, why would they?!) and be more confident in myself. Before DD I was in a swimming costume!

thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2021 19:27

You will go to mum hell and be banned from the PTA.

FFS wear what you want.

Franca123 · 02/12/2021 19:31

I wear a one piece in swimming pools in the UK as they're better for actual swimming. Bikinis tend to cause problem! Having said that, my stomach is in no fit state to be unleashed on the world after my second baby. It needs a bit more time for stretch marks to fade and flab to hopefully melt away.

Briarshollow · 02/12/2021 19:32

This is a total stealth boast gone awry. it even ended on an attempt at guilt-tripping posters for calling her on said obvious boast.

“I just don’t understand why all new mums just stop wearing bikinis. .”

😂

Isababybel · 02/12/2021 19:33

It shouldn't be a shock that many mothers struggle with body confidence and dont want to show off their tummy. This cant be a genuine post

Helpstopthepain · 02/12/2021 19:34

I’ve never been to centre parks but live by the sea, I wear a bikini most of the year and a wetsuit when it’s colder.

On the beach abroad I only wear bottoms (where allowed obviously). I let my (4 children) body loose on the beach, boobs and all. I don’t have an amazing body (far from it) but I don’t care what I look like and I don’t care what other people think I look like, they shouldn’t be looking!

I did buy a costume last year because we went to a pool that doesn’t allow bikinis. I felt quite grown up.

MissAmbrosia · 02/12/2021 19:35

I had an all encompassing M&S one piece with added control whatever and my tits STILL fell out on the rapids! I have a lovely drawing somewhere that dd did to commemorate the occasion. I didn't go on again.

Helpstopthepain · 02/12/2021 19:38

@MissAmbrosia

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 02/12/2021 19:51

My mam is 65 and still rocks a bikini like no body else!

She's not mega toned and doesn't have the body of a 20 year old, but she looks amazing in it and feels more comfortable.

I wear a 1 piece but mainly because I don't have her confidence.

Tempslidingdoors · 02/12/2021 20:09

@Anonymous48

Is this seriously something you're giving any thought to? Get a life!

That’s unkind. Is it really that unreasonable to check if you missed a fashion trend ?

RobertaFirmino · 02/12/2021 20:48

@2piecetrouble

Thank you for the sensible replies. Certainly not a stealth boast just a new mum struggling to navigate a new world desperately trying to fit in.

Hell's teeth, did you copy that from a Facebook post? Wear what you want and don't give a second thought to 'fitting in'. Why would you even want to 'fit in' with people who have rules and opinions about what others should wear?

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