Leaving baby overnight at 11 weeks old

[Dotty08]

Hey mums,

DH wants me to leave baby overnight with his mum or mine at 12 weeks old so we can have a night alone for my birthday.
Our baby has a heart defect and was in nicu for the first 3 weeks of her life so I just want to be with her 24/7 and to be honest I’m shocked he doesn’t.
I hadn’t thought too much about it but I didn’t think we’d leave the baby until she was like 3 years old to be honest.
Am I being unreasonable? I know he’s trying to be nice but I just want to be with my daughter.

We did start leaving them for 2/3 hours in the evening to go out for meals (luckily 4 nice restaurants in walking distance from home) from about 12 months.

I think this is one time you’re justified in saying a sharp “excuse me? For MY birthday I’d like a nice meal out but I’m not spending it away from my baby”.

I would also be declining sex because at that age I didn’t want it, and it was still sore. He can visit Madam Palm and her five daughters if he’s desperate.

Read about the fourth trimester She is still so small. And has only just made an enormous transition leaving your tummy! plus going to the NICU.
My baby was my whole heart and world at that age. I personally wouldn't enjoy being separated over night.
Are you breast feeding? The first time you are separated takes some practice! That in itself makes an evening difficult to relax in. It did take me a long time to appreciate that my husband wasn't getting the oxytocin and prolactin love hormone that surge in mum's bodies being with baby.

I think it is just a bit different for dads - I feel the same about leaving our boys for any length of time let alone overnight, he’s sort of more rational and knows they’ll be fine, and wants a nights sleep. I think you wouldn’t enjoy the night away because you’d be worried and baby is still quite little so maybe just a nice meal out and then home?

Yanbu. Our son is 3 and we've never left him overnight. Your baby is tiny!