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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What’s your sliding doors moment?

110 replies

Tiffbiff · 29/11/2021 21:48

Just that really! Watched sliding doors recently ( for those that haven’t watched it- a film that follows the life of a women had she caught the train and if she hadn’t caught the train)

Mine is in my twenties I worked a season abroad and met my husband in the destination that I did- if they had sent me Tenerife who would be in bed with me right now?!

OP posts:

SoniaFouler · 29/11/2021 21:54

Everything is a sliding doors moment. If you had left the house five minutes later that one time you might have been hit by a car, etc

Envoitrevisage · 29/11/2021 21:54

I met my husband in a nightclub. I was the designated driver, and I hadn’t really been keen to go out in the first place. I went because my mate needing cheering up. Because I was sober I was chatting to the manager, and because I was sober I actually typed his phone number in correctly, and even remembered his name and what he looked like when he rang the next day.

Thatsplentyjack · 29/11/2021 22:00

Well you could say that about everything that happens in life.

TheGriffle · 29/11/2021 22:01

I had the choice between two guys, one was a dickhead who just wanted to shag me (oh how I wish I was 18 again!) but I really quite fancied him, the other a nice guy who wanted to take me out on a date but I wasn’t that interested and had turned him down a couple of times.

Nice guy asked me out again, and for some reason I decided to say yes this time. We’ve now been together 17 years, married and have 2 kids. Dickhead guy didn’t get a look in thankfully.

If I had turned now Dh down again when he asked me out, he’d decided it was the last time he was going to try so who knows where I might be now!

Also we put an offer in on a house, it was accepted then a couple of weeks later they changed their mind. We found a different house, all was well but the thought that we wouldn’t have our cats and our children wouldn’t be the children we have now if we’d got the first house is a strange thought indeed.

SudokuWillNotSaveYou · 29/11/2021 22:14

I was on a dating service, lo’ these many years ago (over a decade now). And it was one where you didn’t get to pick people - the service matched you, based on how well it thought you would get along. (You also picked three things you thought you were best at to put in your profile and you wrote a profile that people who were matched with you would see). So being the sarcastic lass I am, I put, “If you chose ‘keeping fit’ as one of the things you’re best at, keep walking because I don’t need some gym addict.” Well… my future husband was matched with me, saw that in my profile, HAD chosen “keeping fit” as one of his things (in forces at the time), and decided to message me and see if I was all talk. I saw him, he had that written, and he was also half black (not a problem for me but I knew it would be for my bigoted father).

Well, here we are married for 13 years. He’s still in shape, and my father disowned me when we got married and it removed so much stress and drama from my life. My father had ruined so many holidays, yelled at me and threatened me about so many things, and then it was just like my life was… clean.

So if I hadn’t married my husband, what if I had married someone LIKE my father? What if I still had to put up with my father making every holiday a nightmare? Making me feel queasy every time I had to talk to him, that he might yell at me? My life has a lot of horror and pain in it (health-related) but my husband still makes me laugh every day.

vixeyann · 29/11/2021 22:23

I had a ticket to spend 3 months in Australia backpacking in my early 20s. Just before I was due to go my dad got diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer so I didn't go. I often wonder what would have happened if I did.

RaisedByPangolins · 29/11/2021 22:23

On POF many years ago, I didn’t realise that when you clicked on a profile to “add to favourites” it sent the man an alert!

I thought I was just saving him for later, as I was already planning a date with someone else.

He messaged me to introduce himself but I told him I was going on a date with someone else and would be in touch if it went really badly

I got a horrendous cold and cancelled the other date. When I was feeling well again I had to decide whether to rearrange the original date, or maybe try the new guy who’d messaged me instead.

10 years later I’m glad I decided to try the new guy instead!

SleepingStandingUp · 29/11/2021 22:35

For those saying well leaving the house 5 minutes later counts etc, in the spirit of the movie unless something significant happened that day, it doesnt count.

When I got my a level results, because of the way general studies works, I actually had a choice between my first and second choice. I was in Sri Lanka, my sister told me over the phone and I pretty much said "the first one!" which of course was highest offer not my preference per se. I wonder, it was such a different course, I'd have been away from my ex, further away from my bf and the mess that I caused with those two, wouldn't have met the guy who's meeting of resulted in me attempting suicide, possibly would never have joined Samaritans, wouldn't have met the guy who I told I liked who's rejection spurred me on to accept the POF date that ended in marriage and 3 kids....

I'm sure other changes would have caused a similar cascade but that's the point where I feel my life truly hung between two fates

peaceanddove · 29/11/2021 22:42

I met DH in a nightclub. I was nursing a broken heart and had only agreed to go out because it was my best friend's birthday. The only reason we were in that club was because it rained and it was nearer than our usual choice. Then my friend pulled some bloke so I was just playing gooseberry by about 11.00pm, great

I had just decided to leave (alone) when DH appeared and asked me to dance. The rest is history

MyBeautifulFlower · 30/11/2021 03:09

What is your aibu?

lousanne · 30/11/2021 04:38

My parents were moving to America with me being a few months old. Then turned out dad was having an affair and they divorced.

I keep thinking I would have been a full on American (accent and everything) if my dads affair didn't come to light.

Would I have been living in Arizona with a husband called Chad..?

PineappleSun · 30/11/2021 04:51

I turned down an internship abroad after uni to take a more local job. The internship building was next to my DH's family business. The local job allowed me to spend more time chatting online where I met... my DH. I always wonder if I'd still have met him if I'd taken the internship or if we would have just passed by each other.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 30/11/2021 04:55

I went to a party on September 20th 1985.
I would give anything to be able to go back and tell my teenaged self to stay home!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 30/11/2021 08:04

If I hadnt walked home alone that night.

If, after being rejected for medical school, I had taken proper time to consider my options instead of applying for a course on a whim.

StarlightStarlight · 30/11/2021 08:08

I wasn’t meant to be there the night I met my husband. We met, went on a date and we didn’t proceed with the relationship. Now we are happily married (depending on the day…)

maddening · 30/11/2021 08:13

My existence is a sliding doors moment - my mum worked in the hospital, she crossed the road one day and was hit by a car, v badly injured. Because of injuries when she recovered she went to to in the training hospital where my Dad was training after his degree, they would not have met otherwise.

And also my grandparents were in a camp in Germany when the allies came in at the end of the war and freed them, they were offered uk citizenship and took the offer.

Without both significant moments my parents would definitely not have met.

BlooBagoo · 30/11/2021 10:07

I met DH on a night out when I was out with friends and we couldn't decide which pub to go to and decided to try one we'd never been to before.

exH and I met at a gig, he nearly didn't go and decided to head along at the last minute to avoid wasting his ticket. If he hadn't gone I wouldn't have had my two kids and I probably wouldn't have even ended up with my life going the way it did for me to end up meeting DH. But maybe I'd have met someone else in time and still have a lovely life that way. You just don't know I guess.

Bluebellberry · 30/11/2021 10:21

@PomBearWithoutHerOFRS how come? I understand if you’d rather not say, but you it sounds like you have a tale…

Skatastic · 30/11/2021 10:47

Meeting my H feels like a sliding doors moment. He came to my hometown on a stag do which was rearranged 3 times from different places because of bad weather. I had also rearranged the date I was going out 3 times. Bumped into him outside a bar. Glad every day since that I did.

freeandfierce · 30/11/2021 11:08

I signed up for a degree course, my then abusive husband tried everything in the book to stop me going to enrol. Normally I would have backed down. All day at work beforehand he barraged me with threatening texts. I decided not to enrol and drive home. When I got to my car I'd been blocked in, turns out it belonged to the visiting lecturer to enrol the course. As I was due to enrol I was asked to wait until she could move it as we would be leaving around the same time. I went into panic knowing if I didn't go home I would be in so much trouble with my now XH. I walked into the classroom where we were all meeting, it was full of 20 year olds, then me, a women in her 50's. At the back of the room I spotted as man similar in age to me, he walked straight up to me and said, you look like you need a coffee. Five years later we are together, both divorced. He was in an abusive marriage for 14 years, me 28. He said when I walked into the room he just knew I was in a similar situation to him. It was a slow burn, friends for a good 18 months before it became anything more. My XH still blames my degree for us divorcing, not the fact that he is an abusive bully.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 30/11/2021 11:21

Mine is the 99 minutes of my life I utterly wasted watching ashit film called Sliding Doors.

Vuvuvuzela · 30/11/2021 11:32

I very nearly cancelled my first date with now-DH because I'd had such a good date with a different man two days before. Decided I'd be better keeping my options open, and I'm so glad I did!

DeepaBeesKit · 30/11/2021 12:20

Missing the grades for my first choice uni and going to my second choice instead.

On the day it felt like a disaster. Instead I had a fabulous time at uni, met DH, got my job & career I love.

Chimley · 30/11/2021 12:31

The college I enrolled at were really terrible with communication and admin so they didn't enrol me in time. I had to wait for the next intake. And that's where I met my DH.

Whoopsies · 30/11/2021 12:38

I know what you mean OP, because back at uni my best friend dropped our last £2 on the floor of a nightclub so I said "don't worry, this guy will buy us a drink" dragging a random guy from the crowd over to the bar, 13 years later we are married with 2 kids! What if she hadn't dropped that money? What if I had picked a different guy? DH had never been to that club before so what if he had never gone?!?

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