What’s your sliding doors moment?

[Tiffbiff]

Just that really! Watched sliding doors recently ( for those that haven’t watched it- a film that follows the life of a women had she caught the train and if she hadn’t caught the train)

Mine is in my twenties I worked a season abroad and met my husband in the destination that I did- if they had sent me Tenerife who would be in bed with me right now?!

Both my exes. How different would life have been without them? But my DC wouldn't be who they are, maybe not even here at all.

Walking back from the beach with DH and my young sons on holiday. The four of us stopped so I could re-do my shoe laces. A driver lost control of their car on a bend up ahead, mounted the pavement we were on at speed and smashed into the wall it ran along about 10 metres ahead of where we’d stopped. DH and DS2 were walking ahead of me and DS1 initially. Both would have been seriously injured or killed if we hadn’t all stopped at that point. DH and I had a few stiff drinks that evening. It still makes me shudder.

Mine is a guy one too. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy with my now DP, but when I was seeing someone before him I went on a business night out and met the IT guy of a client. We chatted all night and really hit it off. The next day he contacted me, via the client, to ask for my number. As I was seeing someone else at the time (who turned out to be a total commitment phobe), I declined.

He was a gorgeous, tall, strong, funny Aussie, so often wonder which direction my life would have taken if I'd just said yes.

In hindsight, my realisation of regret of not taking him up on the offer, made me see that the guy I was seeing then wasn't the right one for me. I signed up to online dating as a result and met my now DP as my first ever date on the site (I was still officially seeing the other guy at the time too, which my DP will never know - it was literally only for a couple of weeks, but it was very, very unlike me!)

Incidentally, I used to love the Sliding Doors film, but when it was on again a while ago I watched a bit of it. OMG that really hasn't aged well!

I rejected an Oxford acceptance, because I was very young and they wouldn't defer entry for a year.

I ended up travelling and working abroad before accepting another university offer (Russell Group, but not Oxbridge).

Twenty years later, I have several degrees, a lovely life and career, but I do wonder sometimes...

I think I had two where my life changed profoundly.

First was when I was in my teens I was committed to being a showjumper and actually had a shot. But when I was 19 i had a hideous accident that put me in hospital for weeks and after that I lost my nerve. So it changed my direction in life and led to me taking up a job abroad. That job then led to another job in a different country with the same org and I met DH. The first time we met he was married and I was with someone nd we never even spoke (we met at a work conference). The second time we met was about 8 months later and his wife had left him and my ex had left me and we got together. :)

A less serious one, I was at college and went on a trip abroad. I had the opportunity for a holiday romance for want of a better term with a lovely lad. I had a boyfriend back home, nothing serious, but still turned the chance down. A few weeks later my boyfriend dumped me, for someone he'd been seeing behind my back, probably while I was away 😫

All of life is 'Sliding Doors'..it's a ridiculous but fun concept.

Most of these are 'what if I hadn't have been in the same place / clicked on the profile of my partner '...well you would have met someone else, because there is no such thing as 'the one' or a 'soulmate'.

I met my partner online, both could easy have not been on at that time, and years later we have a lovely daughter.

'Sliding Doors ' logic states that I've possibly missed a better match for me, and I could have had other kids.

Not sure I get this thread.
I have seen the movie- but every day contains a multitude of sliding doors moments.
We may be aware of some of them because they lead to big changes in our lives, but most of them simply slip by, and we never know.
Pointless rumination really.

If I hadn't of had an argument with a friend on New Year's Eve I'd never of met my now DH of 13 years.

Ex was moving to London. I didn't go with him. He became my ex.

Sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had. His family were wealthy, he was educated. I was a different person then.

FWIW I've long thought the Sliding Doors format would make a great TV series.

Isn't the end of Sliding Doors left with the message that the planets will still line up at some point?

(Obviously you need to also believe in fate and destiny)

@speakout it’s just a topic of conversation- it’s not meant to be taken so seriously. Obviously every day has sliding door moments ( what if I left 5 minutes later) what if I woke up 5 minutes earlier. I’m talking about the big stuff that people wonder… what if?

Thanks to everyone else though- love hearing the stories!

@Whitefire agreed! would the same outcome always happen eventually but in different circumstances- feel like that’s getting a hot deep though 😂

My DH lived in Paris but broke his foot in a motorbike accident not long after he arrived Paris, so he had to come back to our home town, when his foot had healed he started working at the same place as me. If he hadn't had the accident he would never of come back to the UK. I thank my lucky stars that he did, as we have had the most amazing 23 years together and 2 beautiful children.

I wanted to study law but my A level predicted grades were too low, so I didn’t apply for the course at my university of choice. I applied for another course which I did not enjoy, leaving me directionless and after graduating ended up in a dead end job.

Ironically my actual A level grades would have allowed me to do the law course, changing my career completely. If only my teachers had more faith in me!

Most of these are 'what if I hadn't have been in the same place / clicked on the profile of my partner '...well you would have met someone else, because there is no such thing as 'the one' or a 'soulmate'.

That’s what makes it interesting. Wondering what sort of life you might have with a different partner/career/hometown. You’d still be you, but everything else could be different.

DH and I met when I was 18, a few months before I was due to start at Goldsmiths University. I changed course and went to my local university so we could stay together. Not an entirely terrible choice, but I do wonder. It’s unlikely we’d have stayed together, so what would I have done next?

My other one is career based. When I was PG with DD, my boss announced she was PG about 6 weeks before me. I’d have been her mat cover, which would have been an excellent opportunity for me, had I not needed my own mat cover.

I started uni away from home and left and came home. I wonder what that life would have been like.but the degree I did do resulted in my job which resulted in me meeting DH.

Well, maybe not sliding doors but I have a near death tale. I was at a junction and the lights went green. I couldn't get the car into gear. I tried but I had to put it into neutral and then depress the clutch to get it into first. In the time it took to do that which was probably 10 seconds a car sped on front of me, probably doing 50 in a 30. If I had got the car in gear I would have been T boned.

I had the choice of two men.

I met a guy in Las Vegas and he was an American in the Air Force. He swept me off my feet (I was in a relationship when I met him, nothing happened until I came home and broke up with the ex. He got me over the break up. We spoke 8 hours a night on Skype. I was in love with him.
He came over 6 months later on a lay over for 6 hours. I was prepared to drop my life here in London and set off on an adventure to be with him in Vegas….

However 2 months before he came over on his lay over I met another guy and we gradually got closer and closer and I chose him…
We live together now and have been together for 7 years. He’s the love of my life.

But in the back of my mind Mr Vegas often pops up… we’ve kept in touch (he’s moved on) and sometimes have the odd WhatsApp message of just checking in, this isn’t frequent, once every few months.

But how things could be different…

Totally different to all the posters saying 'I wouldn't have met my DH if such and such hadn't happened' I use sliding doors thought exercise to help my disappointment when things don't go well.
Didn't get the job/house etc? Ah well something horrendous and life shattering (not in a good way) would have definitely happened.
My go to is one of the kids/dogs/me being flattened by a bus on day 1 of the alternative reality & us all wishing we hadn't moved to dream house/got the fab job etc.

It's a doomers version of 'Not meant to be' which I can't abide anyone saying to me as I do not believe in fate or god or anything pre-determined!

I could’ve stayed at my school’s 6th form like everyone else, but I chose to go to a 6th form college. Those 2 years changed everything, my confidence increased, I became ambitious, it broadened my horizons. I went on to a prestigious Uni, met my now DH, we live in a really nice, safe area and I’m happy. If I’d stayed in my hometown, I would’ve ended up in a low paid job with multiple kids, always wondering if I could’ve done something with my life. I’m thankful everyday that I didn’t end up that version of myself, the way so many of my peers ended up.

I do sometimes wonder how my life might have been had I not moved from one end of the country to the other when I finished uni / started my first job, by-passing by home town in the middle. You can't have a do over though.

DS (13 ASD) asked me the other day if I ever imagined what life would be like had that sperm not won the race.

I had an appt with someone, they cancelled as they were off sick . Their colleague took over and saw me instead .

That colleague helped me get my degree, a job, a house, saw me through therapy, and basically sorted out my entire life . I send her a Mother’s Day card every year as the difference she made to my life was utterly extraordinary .

If the first person had not been off sick, that would never have happened .

We often say this about my great great great granny, we did family history and from all angles it sounds like she had an utterly shit life . Her children were taken away from her and brought up 300 miles away from her .

By doing that her daughter met her husband, married and had seven children - she’s got in excess of 300 odd descendants .

If her children had not been taken away in 1900 none of us would exist now . It’s a weird thought .