What’s your sliding doors moment?

[Tiffbiff]

Just that really! Watched sliding doors recently ( for those that haven’t watched it- a film that follows the life of a women had she caught the train and if she hadn’t caught the train)

Mine is in my twenties I worked a season abroad and met my husband in the destination that I did- if they had sent me Tenerife who would be in bed with me right now?!

I also had a very conscious sliding door. In 1990 me an XH sat in a pub in Notting Hill and flipped a coin as to whether we would stay in the UK or emigrate to Canada, where we had job offers. The coin said UK.

I think a true “sliding doors” moment is one that is meaningless at the time. Going to uni, moving countries, looking for a new job etc have a reasonably high chance of chance of trajectory of your life. Missing the tube - not so much. Just a minor annoyance at the time.

There definitely isn’t just one sliding doors moment. I’ve got so many of them!
What if I’d decided to break things off with my lovely boyfriend (at the time), to take a step into the unknown with the beautiful Maori rugby player that kissed me after a night of hitting it off at a night club; what if I’d stayed in the UK and made a go of things with a lovely guy I was dating, but I wanted adventure; what if I hadn’t gotten in the plane to the Caribbean 15 years ago?
So many, so many, so many.

For me, every sliding door has lead me to my fabulous life I have right now with my wonderful husband and kids. Would I have had the same wonderful in another dimension, had I made any of the choices I didn’t make?! Fuck yes, because I determine the destination, it wasn’t left to chance by “the one” I met.

I reconnected with the love of my life who had dumped me years earlier. Literally a fortnight later I met someone new who I was incredibly attracted to. I had to make a decision - so I picked the new guy. I figured my ex already had a chance and he’d abandoned me once already and might do it again, whereas the new guy had never abandoned me and deserved a chance.

It turned out to be a bad decision. New guy was a dick who cheated on me. Ex married someone else. I can’t say for sure that it would have worked out with the ex, but my life would have been different.

I got accepted into 3 unis. If I'd chosen another one everything would be different- relationships, kids, friends, career, jobs, where I live.

Lots of smaller things, but the main thing was accepting a job in Russia in 1992! I had never left the country before. I was 22 and had just scraped my way through uni. I was offered a couple of okay jobs in my city. A few people warned me off Russia but I'm so glad I went. Gave me confidence and independence and put my life on a different trajectory.

I had been seeing this guy on and off. He kept letting me down, ignoring me and then contacting me again. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and completely cut him off. It drove him mad and he told me that he realised that he loved me and wanted a future together. I arranged to meet him at our local. He was really late so I got talking to a couple of regulars from my own pub (well I was a live in supervisor). They asked me why I was wasting time on such an arsehole. I realised they were right and as I got more pissed I decided enough was enough. When he eventually turned up and tried mauling me while apologising and declaring his undying love I became Infuriated. I told him loudly to fuck off and to leave me alone just as the music changed over. It was like a dramatic moment from a cheesy romantic film. One of the regulars came to see if I was OK. We've been married nearly 18 years and have 3 kids.

@RiverSkater

The Midnight Library is a book about this very subject, the main character gets to live the lives she regretted not choosing and many more besides!

I was going to suggest this too. Really enjoyed it!

I found out an ex was cheating- confronted him, left the pub and got in my car. I didn't drive off straight away which gave him time to come out and convince me to give him a second chance- then followed another 15 years of on again off again toxic nonsense.
Sometimes I wish I just drove off straight away

I decided one afternoon to stop dating someone that made me feel like shit and went to my best friends to distract myself.

I ended up meeting my now DH (my best friends brother) and we are still incredibly happy together and have kids.

I feel so grateful for him and my kids. I feel love that I never knew was possible. x